Better for kids to be raised in pueblo with population 60k in Santa Fe with extended family, or in Buenos Aires

Fiscal

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My ex recently contacted me (about $ obviously) and asked me to set her up in Buenos Aires because she wanted to raise our kids in Buenos Aires and go get a job finally. She pitched it to me as a better (for her, more progressive, liberal) environment to grow up in and it would be easier for me to see my kids instead of driving ten hours to her hometown and suffering in that dump for two weeks once a quarter. She is asking for $2k USD a month in living expenses to do it, plus the cost of private school tuition. (I currently give her $1500 USD a month). Putting aside this being some sort of scam to extract more money out of money, is this a reasonable request and good idea? It's improbable she will ever get a regular job, and this would be a prelude to more money (higher expenses in BA) down the road, and my kids would not be around any extended family. On the other hand, I could see them in a city I like, rather than a small town I hate that is in the middle of nowhere.
 

arvest

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How much do you care about the kids? Certainly there are more opportunities in a city like BA than a small provincial town. However if they're not really "your" kids in that way and you're prepared to write them off if you don't participate in their upbringing, you could use that cash elsewhere
 

Millie

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Hi, good morning,
My two cents : Do what is best intellectually and culturally for the kids, put their well being first, above anything you think about your ex, so that they ( kids ) can have a wide range of opportunities…. Go with your gut, and try not to feel potentially taken advantage of by your ex. As long as you are pretty sure that the money you are giving your Ex is going towards your kids, it’s money well spent. No one ever said,” I wish I hadn’t given my kids so many experiences/ chances to meet a wide range of people”.If they are attending private school, they will somewhat be in a bubble, but I agree with you on that educational choice, as my kids went to private school in the US, and it was an excellent decision.

Having said that, growing up in a small city in Santa Fe, surrounded by family, is fantastic. Kids will adapt wherever they live, if they are surrounded by caring family, and positive input. If the school in Santa Fe ( province ) is not very good, this should play a role in your decision.
 

Fiscal

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How much do you care about the kids? Certainly there are more opportunities in a city like BA than a small provincial town. However if they're not really "your" kids in that way and you're prepared to write them off if you don't participate in their upbringing, you could use that cash elsewhere
I care about my kids, but there mother is from a pueblo and doesn't have any friends or family in BA
Hi, good morning,
My two cents : Do what is best intellectually and culturally for the kids, put their well being first, above anything you think about your ex, so that they ( kids ) can have a wide range of opportunities…. Go with your gut, and try not to feel potentially taken advantage of by your ex. As long as you are pretty sure that the money you are giving your Ex is going towards your kids, it’s money well spent. No one ever said,” I wish I hadn’t given my kids so many experiences/ chances to meet a wide range of people”.If they are attending private school, they will somewhat be in a bubble, but I agree with you on that educational choice, as my kids went to private school in the US, and it was an excellent decision.

Having said that, growing up in a small city in Santa Fe, surrounded by family, is fantastic. Kids will adapt wherever they live, if they are surrounded by caring family, and positive input. If the school in Santa Fe ( province ) is not very good, this should play a role in your decision.

How far does $2,000 get you in Buenos Aires, especially with private school?
 

Millie

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I care about my kids, but there mother is from a pueblo and doesn't have any friends or family in BA


How far does $2,000 get you in Buenos Aires, especially with private school?
Hi,
Totally understand:
Family connections are important…
My kids went to school in Massachusetts.. so I can’t speak to BsAs school.
 

Redpossum

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Posts like this make me feel much better about being an old bachelor with no kids.

Fiscal, bro, sincerely, my deepest sympathies. My childhood was severely ****ed up; I wish your kids better.
 

Fiscal

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Posts like this make me feel much better about being an old bachelor with no kids.

Fiscal, bro, sincerely, my deepest sympathies. My childhood was severely ****ed up; I wish your kids better.

Well, now I am an old bachelor, but with young kids, haha. Do you not get lonely?
 

QuilmesSlo

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To me I think the prior advice to think of the kids (and not your ex's agenda) is the right way to see this.

So, if you want to be a "regular" dad, then it's BA easily. If you don't, then extended family is better.

And I might add, while this could be a scheme by your ex, might it be a benign one to get you more involved with your kids?

Wishing you luck and wisdom.
 

Fiscal

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To me I think the prior advice to think of the kids (and not your ex's agenda) is the right way to see this.

So, if you want to be a "regular" dad, then it's BA easily. If you don't, then extended family is better.

And I might add, while this could be a scheme by your ex, might it be a benign one to get you more involved with your kids?

Wishing you luck and wisdom.
Thanks. Not sure the intent is for me to be involved, as she already makes it virtually impossible to do videocalls etc..

Is $2K enough to live on in Buenos Aires?
 

cafeamericano

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$2K for a woman and child is more than enough in BA (especially since you are going to pay school as well). That’s around $600K pesos. 100K for a good 1 BR apartment. 130K if the kid needs a bedroom. I can’t imagine spending more than another 150K-200K on food and household supplies. Chalk up another 50K for obra social and misc expenses. That leaves at least ~200K in what I would consider disposable income. And believe me, my calculations are quite generous. I’m assuming she is going to be living in a quite nice place (though not extravagant), buying all the meat and good quality food the two can eat (cooking at home mostly).

Obviously that is all dependent on her exchanging at the blue rate or WU rate.

My advice would be agree to it with the condition she signs something saying she won’t ask for more per month in the future. A kind of “I’ll give you everything you asked for, but this is the upper limit permanently”. Maybe you can leave a carve out for if the kid needs something like medical treatment or something expensive like that.

Just my two cents though. If you can work something like that then to me it’s worth not ever having to spend time in this pueblo again.
 
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