US company's memo to Argentine staff on offensive language

Kookaburra

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It has been brought to our attention by several officials visiting our office in Buenos Aires that offensive language is commonly used by our Spanish speaking staff. Such behavior, in addition to violating our policy, is highly unprofessional and offensive to both visitors and staff. All personnel will immediately adhere to the following rules:

1. Words like carajo, la puta madre o me da en el quinto forro del orto and other such expressions will not be tolerated or used for emphasis or dramatic effect, no matter how heated a discussion may become.

2. You will not say la cagó when someone makes a mistake, or lo están cagando a pedos if you see someone being reprimended, or qué cagada when a major mistake has been made. All forms and derivations of the verb cagar are utterly innapropiate and unacceptable in our environment.

3. No project manager, section head or administrator under any circumstances will be referred as hijo de mil puta, forro, sorete, es una mierda or es una bosta.

4. Lack of determination will not be referred to as falta de huevos nor will persons who lack initiative be referred to as cagón de mierda, pelotudo or boludo.

5. Unusual or creative ideas offered by management are not to be referred as pajas mentales or pelotudeces.

6. Do not say cómo hincha las pelotas nor qué denso de mierda if a person is persistent; do not add cagó fuego, if a colleague is going through a difficult situation. Furthermore, you must not say cagamos (refer to item #2) nor nos rompieron el orto when a matter becomes excessively complicated.

7. When asking someone to leave you alone, you must not say andate a la concha de tu hermana nor should you ever substitute "May I help you?" with ¿Qué mierda querés?

8. Under no circunstances should you ever call your elderly industrial partners viejos chotos.

9. Do not say me chupa un huevo when a relevant project is presented to you, nor should you ever answer sobame el nabo when your assistance is required.

10.You should never call partners as puto de mierda or vieja tortillera; the sexual behavior of our staff is not to be discussed in terms suchs as viejo trolo, la mira con cariño or mariquita.

11. Last but not least, after reading this note, please don´t say me la paso por el orto. Just keep it clean and dispose of it properly.

Thank you.
 
That wins the funniest post award for today. Thanks for posting it as they say humor is the best medicine.
 
I thought it was interesting when I got here coming from the states and I had several local crew chiefs called negro or chino... you said it not me...

I had to clue in one of my local coworkers who though it was unoffensive to drop n bombs (referring to anyone, not specifically blacks) casually throughout the day. He was going to the US in a few weeks and I figured I'd give him a hint before he arrived. He told me it would be ok because he was not white/gringo and his accent would indicate he was a foreigner. I had to tell him that the states was a mixing pot of people and he looked white enough to be considered a cracker ass and that he could expect a punch in the mouth or a call from HR if he said these things in the US office. he came back in one piece.
 
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