I Need A Very Good Lawyer

[chris]

Consult a lawyer who specializes in family law. Make sure the lawyer is REALLY a specialst in this area.

 

[Crema Americana]

As other have said, unfortunately you are stuck here with your child until the father gives permission for the child to leave. It's not about the stress of moving abroad, it's about the father's right to have access to his child and keep them in the country.

Things may be tense now, and I don't know the full situation, but the only solution I see is to make amends with the father. Try to work with him so that someday he may allow you to leave the country with your daughter, even if it's just a visit to see the grandparents. (If he does, you should keep your word and come back.) You can also try to appeal to his concern over the future of his daughter... make the case that there's better schools in Canada and it's safer. If he's a halfway absent father and doesn't want to pay child support, you may convince him. First you convince him and then you find a very good escribano.

Truthfully though, the best resolution would be that your daughter has two caring parents who will try to work together for her well being regardless of the location. Growing up in Argentina with a loving father is better than growing up anywhere else and lacking that bond. If he proves himself to be a bad father, then that may help your case, but it will still be an uphill battle. Since you're stuck, try to make the best of it you can.

 

[mulderfox]

this is the nightmare of every international couple. when things go wrong you add the extra international drama ingredient to an already bad situation

 

[ExMontreal]

Hi All J

Thanks to all of you for your responses, I trully appreciate the time you´ve taken to help me.



Unfortunately I know you´re right…. I´d better accept it and try to enjoy the life as it is.

I find it terribly unacceptable, I do absolutely disagree on staying here. But it seems I won´t have a choice. I need to learn to accept it. I try to tell myself that things happen for a reason, and that I need to find the reason why I am here. I know the past reason: I´ve made many wrong choices. But I need to find a future reason for being here: for example enjoy the beauty of Cabildo streets! Jijiji no I´m kidding. Being with family is one. Work in my mother language is two (I actually work in 2 foreign languages). I don´t see now any other positive points of being here now. I need to work on it.

Thanks a lot for all the responses J

 

[gpop]

Sounds like your (ex) husband needs to man-up and do what's right for his kid. Sounds like he's dragging you and the kid into his insanity.
Is he working at all? Is he working in his field now? Did it ever occur to him to take advantage of the abundant resources that Canada offers for training / retraining for an existing or different career? All employment offices have these resources and are usually free. In the mean time he could have swallowed the bitter pill and taken a temporary job to make ends meet while he studies. If he's in his 20's or 30's there's no excuse for not biting-the-bullet and doing what a man ought to - if not for himself, at least for his family.
A real man doesn't hold people that he loves (loved) hostage because of his pride.

With that out of the way; I'm not sure how the law functions on this point, but if you can prove that the man is not in full control of his mind - I believe that under Argentine civil code you could win sole custody of your child. With sole custody, I suppose you would be able to return to Montreal with your child without his consent. I'm not sure about it, but that could be something to talk about with a lawyer.
I understand where you are coming from and I sympathise. I am from Montreal as well and married to an Argentina - but I am not 100% about the (already too much) time living here when we would have been better off in Montreal. I make the best of it, but if the opportunity to return ever presents itself I would do it ASAP. I have tolerance, but if it ever comes to the point when enough is enough, I've told my wife, WE LEAVE... without question. I wouldn't wait for a situation like that of Venezuela. We have a 10 year old daughter that was born here, and as much as she identifies with Argentina and has family here, you cannot compare life in Canada with the one here.

You shouldn't have to feel like a prisoner of someone elses psychosis, and you're child deserves better than to be used as a tool for that madness. Good luck, and sincerely - I pray you find a solution out of this situation.

 

[ExMontreal]

H Gpop,

You absolutely read my mind.

It is just too complicate.... I´ll write you a private message as there is a lot of information I don´t want him to read by chance...


Thanks for taking the time to answer my post.

Hope I could ever tell you I got a solution

Pray for me please and for finding a solution to this situation.

 

[BluewaterNM]

Hello,
I think I have a big problem, and I need to find someone on my same situation. I apologize the post is too long.
I was born in Argentina, but grew up abroad. I came back to Arg on my teens but never felt this was my home. I do not feel it now. I always felt a foreign in my own birth city.
At adulthood I moved to Canada and fast met an Argentinian recently arrived too. We married and lived in Montreal for 10 years, where we also have a child. We all have the Canadian Citizenship (this is very important in the last paragraph).
I absolutely love Montreal life style, even the extreme cold winter. That is my home. It is the place I feel alive, I feel I fit in, I feel their values and culture perfectly match with who I am.
However, my husband did not feel the same at all and we finally came back 2 years ago with our young child. One of the major reasons for coming back was the fact that he could never work in his profession in Canada and he expected to do so here. Other major problems were his deep depression and a slowly growing violent way to talk to me.
The problems never ended, he never worked in his field, actually he never worked at all, and his horrible manners to treat me worsen until I decided to leave our relationship earlier this year.
Now we are separate, in the way to divorce. And I can´t stop thinking on what I´ve left behind to help him get the life he wanted. Apparently I can not move back to Canada because I have a young child (Canadian) and my husband will never accept me to leave BA with his child.
The big question is: Is it possible to deny a Canadian Citizen to come back to Canada just because his ex-husband does not want to allow his Canadian child to leave Argentina?
I´ve asked a lawyer who said it will be a long legal battle to get a Judge to say “No. You can´t go” just because the judge will prioritize the last residence of the child (that happens to be BA) in order to avoid the child the stress of moving abroad [what!! What does the Judge know about the stress of moving abroad? Does he have experience? Did he considered the stress of living here?].
I just can not accept it. I can not accept a “no” as a response. You know why? Because I came here under a lie, under a promise that never happened. To save the life of a depressed husband that was turning to a nightmare. To rebuilt a relationship and hopefully end his violent behavior. I can not accept a “no” because I´m raising here, with no economical help at all, a Canadian child that deserves a better and safer life style in the country I´ve chosen for her long time ago. The country I adopted as the proudest Canadian ever. I can not accept a “no” as an answer.
Does someone know what can I do? Does someone know how can I get out of here legally? Does someone have a very good lawyer?

I don't know a lawyer, but my life was ruined here in the USA by the fact that I had a child with an evil, obsessed, sociopathic man. All three of my kids have been turned against me. I am alone now. The world is crazy everywhere it seems.

 

[BluewaterNM]

I am in total support of this woman and my heart is broken for her. This is so sad. It hurts me to read about the misery that she is suffering with a bad, and abusive man. And she is torn between things that she has no control over. A desire to return to Canada and the love for, and safety of her daughter.

 

[ExMontreal]

Thanks BlueWaterNM I´m sorry you´ve gone through this nightmare too.

I´ll keep searching for a positive solution until I find it. It is very hard and unfair to end up accepting this “paraiso terrenal” as it is.

I don´t know for sure, of course. Some days I´m stronger than others. Sometimes I feel I can do whatever, and sometimes I just realize I cannot.

Meanwhile life goes on and who knows what can happen. Even the law frequently changes here. Who knows? Nothing is to be permanent in Argentina (ever).

Perhaps next year a new law appears to help people in my situation, I´m not the only case for sure. I´m trying to find those who are trapped here as well, perhaps we need to make a group and pay together the best lawyer ever.

I´ll ask my lawyer about Gpop idea on asking for sole custody of my child. I am pretty sure I can prove he is insane and is not acting on the child´s convenience (not even his own convenience*). This I´m sure I can prove. It´s enough to read my whatsapp messages on my cellphone to realize how abnormal the situation is. They can be certified by a Escribano that I´m meeting next week (prior to get my cellphone robed).

* I´ve already told him several times, made years-long cashflows, etc considering the hypothesis of selling his 6 properties and buying a beautiful triplex in Montreal and live from renting. It is not only possible. It´s convenient for him too.

 

[steveinbsas]

You can easily change the font size before you submit posts (and also for two hours after) with two mouse clicks.

Just a suggestion.