Moving Overseas With Argentine Partner

[RichardP]

Argentines seem to be everywhere, at least in the US. Even in the smallest towns I've lived in there has always been at least a family or two. In larger cities, there are Argentine "communities" who typically organize asados and other social events. This will definitely ease the transition and isolation that is bound to occur otherwise.
I've met several Argentines that began to dance the Tango only after leaving Argentina. Sometimes being away from your country helps to develop a stronger connection to it.

 

[DontMindMe]

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We recently made the move from Argentina back to my home. It has been less than 6 months but it is proving very tough for my Argentine partner. She does not have a friend network here and is incredibly lonely. She is not very close to her family but misses her friends intensely. We have planned a trip back to visit much sooner than expected as she is finding it difficult to adjust to life here.
Although I had similar adjustment issues when I was in Argentina, I had chosen to be there for the cultural experience. She has chosen to move to be with me and the Culture Shock she is experiencing she was not at all prepared for. I take the blame for that but it is proving very tough on our relationship.

I am really sorry to hear that! Is she working or taking a class, or is she sitting at home alone all day while you work? I can tell you from my own recent personal experience that I started feeling like I was slowly going out of my mind when I first moved to be with my partner and couldn't work because of lack of residency. Cleaning the apartment, cooking elaborate recipes and going to our building's gym took time out of the day and was fun for about a month as I recovered from grad school burnout, but it's not intellectually stimulating in the slightest--and I was still alone in a new country. I started feeling irritable and sad all the time and when a couple job leads that would have given me papers fell through, it just got worse. I feared that depression was looming, though I will say that I never, ever doubted my decision to move to be with my partner. I finally registered for a class and everything has gone uphill. I get out of the house, I have intellectual stimulation, I'm really learning the public transportation, I'm around people and feel like I have a life outside of my partner again (so important). I can't say I have real friends yet, but even so, things are so much better for me. My number one suggestion would be that she get a job, take a class, volunteer, just get out and do something, anything, that requires her to interact with other people.

thesilva, please don't blame yourself. She is an adult who made an adult decision. You can only do so much to help her. She has to help herself, too. Best of luck to the both of you. [/background]

 

[thesilva]

DontMindMe - Thanks for your insights and advice, particularly about her finding a life outside of our relationship. I think this is key as I feel so much extra pressure, because apart from me she has nothing here. I honestly didnt think it would be this hard. I thought she would settle in and find friends and make her own life here but it is taking much longer and is much harder than either of us was prepared for.
I love my country but she doesnt, I dont know if she wants to. She will sometimes make some honest yet negative comment about life here - much the same as I would about life in Buenos Aires and to hear it from the other side, even if it is in a joking way, is very harsh.
I am hoping that the trip back to Argentina may give her a new perspective and give her the energy and enthusiasm for our life together but there is also the possibility that it will be the other way and she will decide to stay in Buenos Aires, as her life and friends there is something that I will never be able to replace.

 

[syngirl]

Looks like this series is tailor-made for some of the people on this board:

http://jezebel.com/foreign-ladies-and-american-dudes-try-to-make-it-work-o-1484332932