Pissing off the wrong person in BS AS

[nolonelyplanet]

Someone whom I (politely) rejected to go out on a date with and apparently is not used to hearing no as an answer, even though I repeat, I was polite about this, is appparently someone in the world of the public sector (no one THAT important but apparently this person does work in a higher management role) they have basically gone into a wild maniacal rage and angrily said that they are going to do everything in their power to report me for over-extending my stay and do everything in their power to make sure no one hires me (i am currently job hunting) and basically make me sorry for having turned down the date offer. How this would be possible, aside from them faxing a photo to every company, with a note DONT HIRE, I do not know (they do not know who i am interviewing with or even where i live at this moment)

quite familiar.

 

[DontMindMe]

One advice, to reject somebody in a polite way is a common mistake among expats. In my experience, you wait too much to say no. Argentinians say kill your self when you just say hello. The way it works is the following; if an argentinian says yes to any small and silly thing, she will say yes to anything. Expats normally wait until the last minute to say no. Here is the cultural missunderstanding. However, he or she is an as...

Regards

Yeah, but when we do finally learn to reject coldly and immediately, we get yelled at or worse. I´ve started to just physically turn my body away from any men who approach me and my friends while out, rather than even try to say no verbally, because they will never go away, and my evening is ruined by some annoying leech whom I have no desire to talk to. But they get angry and sometimes start yelling, calling me or the group putas, and it goes on. I´ll never understand why someone would rather yell at a group of young women than go look for another girl, but oh well. So if we say no politely, they never leave us alone, but if we try to play it more porteña and put up the bitch shield, they yell or stomp their feet like babies because we´re, well, not porteñas. If any ladies out there have the secret, please share...A lot of the time a firm no does not do it if you´re foreign.

 

[cbonanni]

It is obvious that Nikad has been in Argentina for a while. He has learned to "Talk out his A..." To refer to "Italian roots" just goes to show bigotry. I believe it has to do with education , and upbringing , more than an ethnic identity. Again , a simple thread has degraded into something less than originally intended.

 

[steveinbsas]

It is obvious that Nikad has been in Argentina for a while. He has learned to "Talk out his A..." To refer to "Italian roots" just goes to show bigotry. I believe it has to do with education , and upbringing , more than an ethnic identity. Again , a simple thread has degraded into something less than originally intended.

If you had been on this forum for a while longer than a couple weeks you might be aware that Nikad is a woman (look at her photo), that she is Argentinian, and for all we know may also have "Italian roots." If she does, how could she be showing bigotry?

Forget about the Italian mafia stereotypes from the movies like the Godfather or even cat calling skirt chasers as depicted in Under The Tuscan Sun. Having been in Rome when two 40 something sisters got into a ferocious argument over clutter under the kitchen sink I can attest to the reputation of Italians as hot tempered. It was a frightening experience to hear the sisters argue, especially when I had no idea what they were fighting about.

My Argentine girlfriend had Spanish and Italian roots (and a Spanish passport). I admit I never thought about her roots when she was being violent. I was think about my own roots. As she twisted my ear she was also pulling out my hair. I don't blame her behavior on her European heritage, but now I think of Portena women in general as undesirable candidates for a relationship.

Does that make me some kind of a bigot, too?

 

[fifs2]

If you had been on this forum for a while longer than a couple weeks you might be aware that Nikad is a woman (look at her photo), that she is Argentinian, and for all we know may also have "Italian roots." If she does, how could she be showing bigotry?

Forget about the Italian mafia stereotypes from the movies like the Godfather or even cat calling skirt chasers as depicted in Under The Tuscan Sun. Having been in Rome when two 40 something sisters got into a ferocious argument over clutter under the kitchen sink I can attest to the reputation of Italians as hot tempered. It was a frightening experience to hear the sisters argue, especially when I had no idea what they were fighting about.

My Argentine girlfriend had Spanish and Italian roots (and a Spanish passport). I admit I never thought about her roots when she was being violent. I was think about my own roots. As she twisted my ear she was also pulling out my hair. I don't blame her behavior on her European heritage, but now I think of Portena women in general as undesirable candidates for a relationship.

Does that make me some kind of a bigot, too?

Steve, whilst I don't want to live your life I would love to be in the movie of it as it's never dull by your accounts and frequently hilarious. And yes, before you say it, life is quiet in the "to Spain" transition..whilst the eating and living is good the expats site is so pedestrian it's scary and the mothers at the school gate not so enamoured with my Porteno accent just yet..6 weeks on and still trying!

 

[cbonanni]

No Steve it does not make you a bigot. It clearly defines your opinion regarding portena women. I am an Italian American who has lived in Italy in my own home for many extended periods of time. I , too am prone to a latin temper , and have seen it on many occasions. There are more Italian immigrants in Argentina than from Spain. Most laws here are based on Italian law. Irregardless , movie stereo types aside , I feel the remark is unwarranted. Or perhaps I am still trying to understand Argentine humor. I am sorry for the violence perpetrated on you. It can certainly come from women as well.

 

[AngelinBA]

I´ve seen some very bad behaviour from both men and women on the relationship revenge front, normally when dividing up assets or discussing child custody, they can be so vindictive and actively go out of their way to hurt their ex either emotionally, professionally or psychologically. But that's after a relationship breakup, not after you've refused to go out with someone!
I agree with the person who said we expats say no too late, or at least not strongly enough.
I´ve had some very persistant local men ask me out and I´ve said no from the beginning but with a smile and being polite. Not until 10 minutes later when I yell ¨I said NO so F**k OFF" do they look really hurt and leave me alone - with some choice words on their way out the door.

 

[cbphoto]

Maybe Steveinbsas has a certain sadomasicism? In another thread he exclaimed that he would vote for Michelle Bachman for president..

 

[Elpanada]

I think that threats are a great thing in general... can't see how threatening some girl that doesn't want to go out with you could be beneficial but threats in general are usually pretty good.

I regularly threaten people and it has done wonders for me... threatening people can also be somewhat enjoyable not to mention profitable... seeing the fear in their eyes and the panic in their behavior.

There's lots of people out there wanting to take advantage of you... the greedy... the needy... the mentally ill.... drug addicts.... morons.... and more and the best defense versus those kinds of people is a good offense really.

Barking is really much better than biting since the barking doesn't send anyone to the emergency room.

 

[HeyBA]

Sorry this happened to you!

I wouldn't be intimidated at all, but watch out if he really is crazy.