Wedding gift.

[PhilipDT]

I'm going as a plus one to a wedding this evening and I don't want to show up empty handed. Any suggestions, they don't drink liquor so I'm basically out of ideas.

 

[Ashley]

its a bit last minute, but maybe you could ask if they're listed somewhere.
I've been to two weddings here. The first one, I asked around, and everyone said not to bring a gift (and no else appeared to either). The second one, the bride and groom asked for no gifts but if you wanted, they were accepting cash to put towards their honeymoon. I wasn't at all comfortable giving money so we got them a bottle of French champagne. At that wedding, I didn't see many people give cash...and no one but us bought a gift. The bride and groom never thanked us for our gift...maybe it never even got passed on!
If I were you, I'd get a nice bottle of champagne (even if they don't drink, it's always something nice to have around). But if you'd rather not, I wouldn't stress out about getting something last minute. It seems like people just don't put an emphasis on wedding gifts here.

 

[Crema Americana]

I've been to three weddings and didn't see any type of wedding gift or card table. If you really want to give something, almost all couples appreciate cash even if they're shy about asking for it. A little card and a note saying "for your honeymoon" or "for your new home" seems appropriate.

If not, don't worry about it and let the invited guest (the person you're going with) give a gift from the both of you.

 

[French jurist]

A nice frame to put pictures inside.

 

[glasgowjohn]

The last wedding we went to in BA , we picked a gift - a side trip during their honeymoon - from the list.

The couple were divorced after 4 months ....

 

[allcraz]

The bride and groom never thanked us for our gift...maybe it never even got passed on!
It seems like people just don't put an emphasis on wedding gifts here.

There are some very notable differences in wedding etiquette here. You will never see a gift table at a wedding (at least I never have.) It seems the ONLY gift the bride and groom are given at the actual wedding is money in an envelope, and discreetly. If not, gifts are delivered to the apartment before and after. We had several registries open in BsAs but received gifts from all over the place. Then many cash gifts (in dollars, which surprised me) given at the reception...stuck into my husband's pockets, given to my mother-in-law (no one gave any to me!) But I wouldn't say that there is no emphasis on gifts...it's just not done as much in the open as it is where we're from perhaps. I think it also really depends on whether or not the couple lives together before they are married. If so, they don't need all the traditional wedding gifts and therefore the guests are often forced to give money. I agree with you in that I dislike people asking for money to be transferred into their account, but I had to do it once as that was what they were asking for for the honeymoon.

I was most impressed by the hand-delivering of the invitations and thank you notes. We have yet to ever receive a wedding invitation in the mail. The thank you notes are another thing altogether. I was brought up writing thank you notes after every single birthday gift, and I couldn't believe when I gave thank you notes to some people after the wedding, some actually told me it was the first time in their LIVES that they had ever received a thank you card. Even if people do hand out thank yous, they are on little name cards (business card size) and say not much more than "Gracias." You can't imagine the amount of compliments we got from just taking the time to write out a few sentences and sign our names. We have received thank you notes in the past for less than half the gifts we've sent. It bothers me because you never know if they got them or even acknowledged them, but what can you do?

 

[Ashley]

Do you know if there are general guidelines as far as how much to give as a cash gift? That was one of the things that really put me off. The couple of weddings I've been to were not those of close friends so I was very conscious of the fine line between giving something that I would have trouble affording vs. being seen as cheap. That's why at the second wedding, I plummeted for the bottle of champagne. Even so, I still felt that it was too expensive a gift (especially as we bought it here) to go unacknowledged and I'd think twice about doing it again.

 

[syngirl]

The first one, I asked around, and everyone said not to bring a gift (and no else appeared to either).

...

It seems like people just don't put an emphasis on wedding gifts here.

People will give cash towards the honeymoon or whatever -- often, a lot, and very discreetly. You tend to get it before the wedding, often at the same moment that you deliver the invite people will go grab their USD and stuff some into your hand! In the invite there is often included the bank details, but most of the time people end up giving in envelopes.

Standard gift amount here for a friend seems to be US$100. We just went to a friends wedding and everyone sort of whispered around the table to see how much everyone had deposited in the honeymoon account and every single person had done the US$100.

Otherwise people do have gift registries, but you just deposit in an account at Falabella or wherever and the couple can use the money after to buy whatever.

We had a honeymoon account but most people just gave us cash, we only ended up with 800 pesos in the honeymoon account so we ended up just using it for a hotel stay later that year.

 

[allcraz]

Ashley...See, that's why it's such an awkward situation to put the guest in!!! A cash gift from someone you don't know well is just odd! I agree. Someone did tell me a guideline once: that the gift should be at least the same value that the couple pays for the price per head. But most people have no idea what that number is! That being said, I do know that the wedding gifts we give are usually more than what I would pay in the States for a gift for the same couple. But that also has to do with what your money can buy here vs. there. At our wedding, there were so many gifts that were more than I would have imagined that guest spending according to our relationship with him/her. I suppose my conclusion is that people are more generous here with wedding gifts. But no one should ever feel pressured to give cash. A nice picture frame, a set of whiskey/beer/champagne glasses, candles, a serving bowl, etc are always good neutral gifts. I hope they drank that champagne and toasted to you!

 

[allcraz]

-- often, a lot, and very discreetly.

Standard gift amount here for a friend seems to be US$100. We just went to a friends wedding and everyone sort of whispered around the table to see how much everyone had deposited in the honeymoon account and every single person had done the US$100.

Discreetly is definitely the word, and I agree with US100 for a (good) friend.