Who is Stayin Alive?

[MyArgentina]

Pensador, all due respect, you are over the top. You are so 'certain' that your view is right that your are kicking foks out of your home. Slow down brother. The Pandemic will pass. Slow down and do not ruin your whole world in the process. Don't do it!

 

[EL_TIGRE_de_Tigre]

I would urge calm as well ...

If CV19 is the only topic you and your wife ever strongly disagreed on, then you are doing better than most other couples out there.

It would be ashamed to divorce over this.

From all that you have shared with us, it seems you are living in a strong, regimented system based upon your previous work experience and beliefs, while your wife is not wanting to give up her normal daily existence / routines. You both couldn't be further apart on this one, but it can be overcome.

It all comes down to ... How much do you both care for each other vs who is going to win the power struggle?

I am not a marriage counselor, far from it, but I have lived and I can see that if you both could find some middle ground, a marriage could be saved.

Why do you want to be divorced? There is nothing to gain there.

 

[on the brink]

This virus is putting all of us under enormous stress, and everything gets magnified. Wouldn't be better not to go to the lawyers just yet?

 

[Pensador]

Pensador, all due respect, you are over the top. You are so 'certain' that your view is right that your are kicking foks out of your home. Slow down brother. The Pandemic will pass. Slow down and do not ruin your whole world in the process. Don't do it!

I did not put her out so you understand

 

[Fiscal]

We've been trapped in Peru since March in a strict quarantine. Fiance/wife whatever decided to leave and take our kid (14 months old) so we are moving to separate AirBnBs. I can always fly back to the US, but there are very few repatriation flights. Wife said if I flew back to the US before she got a flight to Argentina she would teach our child to hate me.

 

[Caribbean Cool]

We've been trapped in Peru since March in a strict quarantine. Fiance/wife whatever decided to leave and take our kid (14 months old) so we are moving to separate AirBnBs. I can always fly back to the US, but there are very few repatriation flights. Wife said if I flew back to the US before she got a flight to Argentina she would teach our child to hate me.

If she doesn't teach your child to hate you now....she will find another excuse to do so later on. You will always be living under this 'nuclear threat. For your sake....don't let her threat dictate your decisions. There are some things you just can't control

 

[EL_TIGRE_de_Tigre]

We've been trapped in Peru since March in a strict quarantine. Fiance/wife whatever decided to leave and take our kid (14 months old) so we are moving to separate AirBnBs. I can always fly back to the US, but there are very few repatriation flights. Wife said if I flew back to the US before she got a flight to Argentina she would teach our child to hate me.

And you ought to believe her ... that is a very spiteful person you have there. I'd go as far as classifying her as a combination of TOXIC / HOSTILE / And SMALL MNDED.

It's a shame to have a child, a gift from God caught in the middle of a disagreement with it's parents. You and her don't lose anywhere near as how much that child will lose in it's lifetime. Coming from a broken family is a big hurdle to overcome in life. A child needs it's parents for their best chance of developing as a person.

I have a read enough from you to conclude that you have two choices with this person ... her way or the highway.

YOU - LOSE either way. (I am sorry for your situation FISCAL. You have my respect for your impossible situation.) I wish you the best.

 

[gracielle]

And you ought to believe her ... that is a very spiteful person you have there. I'd go as far as classifying her as a combination of TOXIC / HOSTILE / And SMALL MNDED.
It's a shame to have a child, a gift from God caught in the middle of a disagreement with it's parents. You and her don't lose anywhere near as how much that child will lose in it's lifetime. Coming from a broken family is a big hurdle to overcome in life. A child needs it's parents for their best chance of developing as a person.
I have a read enough from you to conclude that you have two choices with this person ... her way or the highway.
YOU - LOSE either way. (I am sorry for your situation FISCAL. You have my respect for your impossible situation.) I wish you the best.

I would not be so quick to judge. Unlike Pensador, Fiscal has not posted the reason(s) for them opting to move to separate AirBandB's.
I repeat....relationships will deteriorate over time when chipped away one stone at a time.

 

[EL_TIGRE_de_Tigre]

I would not be so quick to judge. Unlike Pensador, Fiscal has not posted the reason(s) for them opting to move to separate AirBandB's.
I repeat....relationships will deteriorate over time when chipped away one stone at a time.

Yes, I know we only are working with 50% of the story. I would bet anything, Mrs. FISCAL'S point of view is quite different.

My comments are based upon the part we are aware of. Of course my comments could be incorrect within the scope of having Mrs. F's side of the story ... something we probably will never have / know.

Thanks Gracielle for keeping me grounded.

 

[Fiscal]

I would not be so quick to judge. Unlike Pensador, Fiscal has not posted the reason(s) for them opting to move to separate AirBandB's.
I repeat....relationships will deteriorate over time when chipped away one stone at a time.

The reason is that she became increasingly emotionally abusive during the quarantine, I asked her what was going on, she told me she doesn't love me and hasn't for a long time. We had a long calm discussion about why she was continuing to be in this relationship, and she said, I am happy most of the time but I wonder if there is a better relationship out there for me with more romance. She said maybe an open relationship would be better. She then completely withdrew from the relationship and the "family," leaving our child with me for 8+ hours at a time (while I was trying to work remotely, field calls and Zoom meetings). I eventually said, what is your priority, your hobbies or your child and this family? And I said, "be a mother and spend time with your child." And that really set her off and we did not speak for a day, and then the next day, she broke up and demanded we move to different AirBnBs.

Do I think she is a bad person for breaking up with me? No. I helped push her along in that direction by asking her why not seek out the super romantically intense relationship she truly desires. But that doesn't change the fact that she has interjected our child into this mess as a weapon and source of power. And I know it will first be about me staying to basically doing 8-hour plus "turnos" (as she calls them) spending time with our son until she can get a flight to Argentina. I said why not let me have our son, and she said simply, "No, he is mine." Then it will be about the amount of money she receives. Then what?

Yes I am partly to blame for this situation because I had a feeling she didn't truly love me but I never ended it, and I kept going, knowing there was a risk that this would happen. I am a fairly normal looking person and not super rich. She is much younger and quite beautiful, and I knew there was an unbalance in our relationship I had lengthy sessions with two couples therapists who, initially, my wife also saw with me but then stopped, who basically said the same thing. One was very interventionist and told me to end it before she did, in a really bad way that would hurt me. I didn't listen.