One of your Best posts ever , Ben! Loved it!Because tipping only makes sense within cultural bounds, (or in some incredibly exceptional situations, I suppose).
Why not tip the cashier at COTO? Why not pay the verdulero double what they ask you?
Outside of cultural context, the whole thing makes no sense.
You end up just a schmuck who likes to overpay.
Or, you’re trying to establish yourself as some kind of high roller. Or mobster out of Goodfellas, handing out little gifts to everyone.