friend, oh will you buy this???

[AngelinBA]

I know what you mean! I have been ´friends´with a local lady for about 8 years now, but I´ve never known if I could call it a real friendship. Every act of friendship has been followed by a request for some kind of favour. Recently, I invited her (as one of the only guests) to my daughter´s baptism and she came, leaving her sick husband at home to be there. I was so pleased, I finally thought I´d proven that she was my friend. That very night, she and her husband rung up to speak to my husband (a lawyer) and needed some free legal advice and just a bit of work done if he didn´t mind.
So I´m back where I started.

 

[CarverFan]

I had a good experience. An upholsterer collected my sofa cover to replace the broken zip. He brought it back a couple of weeks later and had fixed it but wouldn't accept payment as only the metal tongue bit needed replacing. There are some really decent people out there, but times are hard and many people are driven to the "dog eat dog" way of being.

 

[mhenna11]

I know what you mean! I have been ´friends´with a local lady for about 8 years now, but I´ve never known if I could call it a real friendship. Every act of friendship has been followed by a request for some kind of favour. Recently, I invited her (as one of the only guests) to my daughter´s baptism and she came, leaving her sick husband at home to be there. I was so pleased, I finally thought I´d proven that she was my friend. That very night, she and her husband rung up to speak to my husband (a lawyer) and needed some free legal advice and just a bit of work done if he didn´t mind.
So I´m back where I started.

That is tough,is it how we are doing our relationship? My husband is from Argentina and he is not shy about asking for help and neither are his friends, but it's different, there is trust, respect, honesty and because there has been years of this, they are so relaxed around each other when they have to say no. It's one of the things he had missed about Argentina, people here, he said, are more upfront about their needs than in the US and he said, I am allowed to be, too. But not having to deal with this, because its different in how we ask for help,( perhaps, it's passivity, or politeness I don't know). but whatever it is, I am struggling with it. Louis CK (a comedian) said in an interview,It's so much better to be honest and upfront , than to go away hating the person, just tell them the truth, so what if it hurts their feelings, at least you are not deceiving them and that is when you start to build an honest healthy friendship. Something like that. It's hard to follow, though, but def.worth experimenting with! jajaja.Thank you for sharing your story.

 

[katti]

I never experienced that, quite on the contrary.

Friends that recommend me to go to this store X and ask for person Y and say you are send by Z. As soon as I mentioned Z's name she gave me a 15% discount. One of the things I bought was a florero, so the lady sends me to florist and say I am send by her, and guess what. I got a discount.

My husband, who is in business here, experiences similar things all the time. Friends introduce you to a friend of a friend of a friend, and business is done. People help each other.

 

[John.St]

I never experienced that, quite on the contrary.

Friends that recommend me to go to this store X and ask for person Y and say you are send by Z. As soon as I mentioned Z's name she gave me a 15% discount. One of the things I bought was a florero, so the lady sends me to florist and say I am send by her, and guess what. I got a discount.

My husband, who is in business here, experiences similar things all the time. Friends introduce you to a friend of a friend of a friend, and business is done. People help each other.

My experience too.

Argentino friends accompany me to a store, talk to a friend there and I get discounts from 10 to 20 percent. Of course I then "owe them one" and help them where I can.

In Argentina friends, connections, are important.

 

[Yelina]

wow David! Cynically out of control

 

[Yelina]

by the way David tks 4 sharing ur story

 

[TheBlackHand]

One hand washes the other.

My experience too.

Argentino friends accompany me to a store, talk to a friend there and I get discounts from 10 to 20 percent. Of course I then "owe them one" and help them where I can.

In Argentina friends, connections, are important.

 

[xibeca]

They are obviously not your 'amigo'.

 

[fifs2]

I know what you mean! I have been ´friends´with a local lady for about 8 years now, but I´ve never known if I could call it a real friendship. Every act of friendship has been followed by a request for some kind of favour. Recently, I invited her (as one of the only guests) to my daughter´s baptism and she came, leaving her sick husband at home to be there. I was so pleased, I finally thought I´d proven that she was my friend. That very night, she and her husband rung up to speak to my husband (a lawyer) and needed some free legal advice and just a bit of work done if he didn´t mind.
So I´m back where I started.

This is true of my longest standing Argentinean friend too (7 years) who at times I have felt was my soul mate we are so alike in so many things and can gossip for hours as if we were raised together at birth. At other times when she is asking me blatantly for material things (as opposed to gifts I have made of my own volition) I have felt hurt and used. I think Mhennas post sums up so well how it's the way of looking at things. I personally think being extra friendly to me followed by gifts or help requests is using me and isnt true friendship but my friend honestly doesnt see it that way. In spite of our different viewpoints I hope and believe she would be there for me or my family in time of need so I have learnt to be a little less consistent as a gift horse and to be less sensitive to feeling used.
Other than that I echo all other sentiments that contacts are everything in Argentina and that most Argentineans will go out of their way to help expats or any friend and that is true gold indeed.