Holding on to Argentine customs when returning to the US

[hepdoll]

Hi everyone,

I'm moving back to the states in a few weeks and, as can be expected, nostalgia is setting in. There are some things that I really like about the Argentine culture that I do not experience very often in the US - specifically their warmth and affection towards friends and family. (And even strangers.)

The kiss on the cheek to say hello and goodbye is the best example: I love it because with that gesture we overtly give a moment of attention and respect to each person in the room, recognizing that we are both human and that we are beginning or ending an experience together. To me it is a very warm, human way of interacting and I will miss this back in the states. I also enjoy the way that, in general, many Argentines are not afraid to touch and hug each other in the course of every day life, when just hanging out with friends or whatever. (Including the men.)

I have thought about whether I could sort of "bring this back" with me and try to introduce it to the friends I'll make where I'm moving next. But I have no idea how to do it without it being forced. I'm not sure it's possible. I may just need to accept that this is something I will need to leave behind.

Have you dealt with this before, whether it be something from the Argentine culture or another culture? Is it possible to introduce something like that to people who have never experienced the real thing?

 

[cbphoto]

After 6 years in Turkey (hugs and kisses, both men and women) and 1 year in BsAs.. I moved to the USA (Los Angeles)...and unfortunately the women and men both freak out if you lean in for a kiss on the cheek..or give a hug with a pat on the back that doesn't practically snap that same back in two. Fortunately most of my friends are European or South American...and at least with them..not really an issue.

 

[Crema Americana]

In movies sometimes people greet with a kiss - but I'm not sure if it's a Hollywood thing or they do it to be more international. (It's usually an air kiss.) I can't say I've seen it much in real life.

If you want to take the greeting back to the US, might be easier to greet with a hug. Americans are pretty used to hugging - especially girls. Not so much kissing. I look forward to the day my boyfriend meets my brother and gives him a kiss on the cheek... just to freak my brother out (he's not touchy feely at all.) With my dad my boyfriend just goes for the handshake.

At first I did have a hard time going from 2 kisses (Spain style) to 1 kiss here. I had to stop myself from going for the second one. In Paris they give 4 kisses and in Holland 3... always confusing. I don't mind giving kisses when meeting someone or reuniting with someone you haven't seen in a while, or even to say goodnight or good morning among family members, but at work, I find the daily kiss-greeting annoying... especially during cold and flu season!

 

[cbphoto]

Actually in Paris they give 2 kisses..unless your French friends are from the south...where it is 3 or 4.. depending how far south I guess

 

[chris]

I have found the kissing custom superficial. What matters to me is whether the person treats me with kindness and respect and if s/he can be relied on. As for taking customs back, there is nothing unique to Argentina that I find all that worthy to take back. Not rushing through meals is something I have always believed in. It is common to take your time in BA but that is the case in a lot of Europe.

 

[Gringoboy]

I never kiss at work. I leave that for after hours.

 

[DontMindMe]

I can relate to this, as I'm also leaving Argentina at the end of the year. I think the only thing I'll really miss is being able to stay at cafes and restaurants as long as I want. Also the late eating hours, which I prefer to the typical U.S. meal times. If I don't feel like going out to a bar or boliche (or can't afford it), at least I can go have a late dinner somewhere, leave around 12 or 1, get home, go straight to bed and kind of feel like I had a night out.

I also think the kissing custom is superficial--with strangers. What is the point of kissing everyone at the party, for example, if nine times out of ten the portenos at there are only interested in talking to the people they already know? I'd rather wave to everyone in the room or do nothing at all than have to kiss everyone and then not interact anymore until people leave, when they kiss you again. I find it awkward. What's the point? It's going through the motions of being warm and friendly, without actually being either of those things.

With that said, hepdoll, when in the U.S. I cheek kiss my latino friends because that's just what they do with their friends. If you're going somewhere at least a little diverse I don't think you'll have a problem. You might not have to introduce anything at all!