How not to stand out like a tourist

[LostinBA]

Don't smile at people you don't know.
Don't say hi to people you don't know.
Don't say hi more than once a day to acquaintances you pass in buildings/on the street.
Don't eat while walking around the city.
Don't expect free water at a restaurant.
Don't ask for ice in your soft drinks.
If cooking, open windows so the "food smell" goes a away.
If there's a "food smell", spray something to get rid of it.
If the "food smell" is tangarines or oranges....well, just eating them in front of anybody but close family or friends gives you away as a foreigner.
Don't say "gracias" all the freakin time.
Don't wear a baseball cap unless you're going to get fully decked-out in yankee paraphanelia.
Don't look disheveled unless it's very well thought-out first.
Don't expect a woman on the street or one you haven't been formally introduced to look at you (unless you're really hot or are wearing nice clothes or are famous or look like a foreigner).
Don't ask out a woman on the street or one you haven't been formally introduced to (unless you're really hot (etc) or are prepared to do a mind-numbing amount of bullshitting).
Don't make conversation for no reason with strangers.
Don't act like a big softie.
Brush your teeth 3 times a day.
Plan on of taking your kids to DisneyWorld.
Think people from the US love DisneyWorld.
Learn how to save face gracefully. Not yours, but other peoples'. Giving a blunt no doesn't go over as smoothly as it does in the US.
Be cool and loyal to people you have formally been introduced to.
Don't be anal.
Repeat frequently how cold people are in the US.
Repeat frequently how hard it is to learn Spanish.
Repeat (albeit incorrectly) that Spanish has more words than any other language.
Repeat, whenever possible, supposed Argentine inventions: the ballpoint pen, dulce de leche, empanadas, milanesas, public buses, and the latest I heard, telos (pay by the hour motels).
Tell people how good the meat is here.
Consider people from the US culturally illiterate, brain-washed and junk-food eating.
Be trendy.
Like the Ramones, Rolling Stones, CCR, or Beattles.
Put your age and picture on your resume.
Don't be overweight.
Don't worry about saying excuse me to people you bump into while walking.
Drive within inches of pedestrians.
Love Brazil.
Talk about how easy it is to understand Portuguese.
Dream of going to Western Europe.
Get your EU citizenship.

Haha. I'm going to do the exact opposite of everything you wrote starting tomorrow.

 

[Crema Americana]

Nice list!

What is with the food smell?? I thought that was just a quirk of my mother in law! She would kill me with incense or candles after we ate.

I had never met people who scrunched up their noses at the smell of food. Perhaps because it is Argentinean food.

 

[bebero]

Nice list!

What is with the food smell?? I thought that was just a quirk of my mother in law! She would kill me with incense or candles after we ate.

I had never met people who scrunched up their noses at the smell of food. Perhaps because it is Argentinean food.

I like to smell food while cooking, not after. It makes me sick, I hate it!

 

[TheBlackHand]

I'd also suggest not wearing fanny packs out in public.

 

[chris]

Did you mention speaking in the loudest voice possible so that absolutely everyone can hear you. Also be sure to stand in the middle of the sidewalk oblivious to everyone around you. And let's not forget be sure that the room temperature is around 78 to 80 degrees F. If you're on a bus keep your window closed even if the bus is packed in hot weather.

 

[RichardP]

Last year when I was in Paris I had fun guessing which tourists were from Argentina. I was usually right since I could hear their raspy voices from half a block away and over all other city noise.

 

[chris]

An Argentine family sat behind me in the choir of Westminster Abbey for evensong. Everyone was quiet and respectful except for this group who talked incessantly throughout the service. The experience was ruined for me and those around the family.

 

[allcraz]

Don't eat while walking around the city.

hahaha. This one took me so long to learn. Look around...they just DON'T do it. I will never forget a student telling me, "I saw you walking the other day. You were eating." And I think that was the last time I ate while moving. Very few exceptions: a cracker here and there, a cereal bar, maybe a yogurt. But they are few and far between. Oh how they would gasp if I told them that once I actually got out a fork and ate out of my tupper on the bus.

Oh, I have 2 more to add:
Wear heavy winter coats in 15°C weather
Complain about the weather in all 4 seasons

 

[chris]

Don't forget to cover your face (when it's 65 degrees F) with a big scarf as though you are headed for Antarctica in the dead of winter.

About your eating food (with a fork no less) on a bus, I'd have the same reaction as the Argentines. Yuck!

 

[allcraz]

About your eating food (with a fork no less) on a bus, I'd have the same reaction as the Argentines. Yuck!

haha oh come on I was starving and on the very back row with no one next to me! No worries...you made me laugh. You're right...it was yucky.