let,s cheer ourselves up

[French jurist]

European championship of "kindness" (close race between the Italian & the French)

http://www.ina.fr/video/CPC03008590

 

[Matt84]

European championship of "kindness" (close race between the Italian & the French)

http://www.ina.fr/video/CPC03008590

Now I know where the South Park people got the idea for Sarcastaball

 

[Crema Americana]

 

[hannstew]

A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced Up and saw the most beautiful woman boarding the plane. He soon realized She was heading straight towards his seat. As fate would have it, she took The seat right beside his. Eager to strike up a conversation he blurted out, “Business trip or pleasure?”
She turned, smiled and said, “Business. I’m going to the Annual Nymphomaniacs of America Convention in Boston."
He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen Sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting of nymphomaniacs!
Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, “What’s your Business at this convention?”
“Lecturer,” she responded. “I use information that I have learned from my Personal experiences to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality.”
“Really?” he said. “And what kind of myths are there?”
“Well,” she explained, “one popular myth is that African-American men are The most well-endowed of all men, when in fact it is the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait. Another popular myth is That Frenchmen are the best lovers, when actually it is men of Mexican Descent who are the best. I have also discovered that the lover with Absolutely the best stamina is the Southern Redneck.”
Suddenly the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed.. “I’m Sorry,” she said, “I shouldn't really be discussing all of this with you. I don’t Even know your name.”
“Tonto,” the man said, “Tonto Gonzales, but my friends call me Bubba".

 

[tangobob]

They have just found our Ice cream man dead on his floor covered with hundreds and thousands and jungle juice.
.
.
.
.
Apparently, he topped himself.

 

[tangobob]

A Welsh farmer drove to a neighbours farmhouse and knocked at the door. A boy, about 9, opened the door.
is your dad or your mum home? said the farmer.
No, they went to town.
How about your brother, Howard? Is he here?
No, he went with Mum and Dad.
The farmer stood there for a few minutes, shifting from one foot to the other, and mumbling to himself.
I know where all the tools are, if you want to borrow one, or I can give dad a message said the boy.
Well, said the farmer uncomfortably, I really wanted to talk to your Dad. Its about your brother, Howard, getting my daughter Susie pregnant.
The boy thought for a moment
You would have to talk to Dad about that. I know he charges £500 for the bull and £50 for the pig, but I don't know how much he charges for Howard.

 

[tangobob]

An Irishman walks into a bar in Dublin, orders three pints of Guinness and sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finished all three, he comes back to the bar and orders three more.
The bartender says to him, You know, a pint goes flat after I draw it; it would taste better if you bought one at a time. The Irishman replies, Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in America, the other in Australia, and I'm here in Dublin. When we all left home, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days we all drank together.
The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there. The Irishman becomes a regular in the bar and always drinks the same way: he orders three pints and drinks the three pints by taking drinks from each of them in turn.
One day, he comes in and orders two pints. All the other regulars in the bar notice and fall silent. When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your great loss.
The Irishman looks confused for a moment, then a lights dawns in his eye and he laughs. Oh, no, he says, Everyone is fine. I've just quit drinking!

 

[tangobob]

Defense Attorney: Will you please state your age?
Little Old Lady: I am 86 years old.
Defense Attorney: Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened the night of April 1st?
Little Old Lady: There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sat down beside me.
Defense Attorney: Did you know him?
Little Old Lady: No, but he sure was friendly.
Defense Attorney: What happened after he sat down?
Little Old Lady: He started to rub my thigh.
Defense Attorney: Did you stop him?
Little Old Lady: No, I did't stop him.
Defense Attorney: Why not?
Little Old Lady: It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Albert died some 30 years ago.
Defense Attorney: What happened next?
Little Old Lady: He began to rub my breasts.
Defense Attorney: Did you stop him then?
Little Old Lady: No, I did not stop him.
Defense Attorney: Why not?
Little Old Lady: His rubbing made me feel all alive and excited. I haven't felt that good in years!
Defense Attorney: What happened next?
Little Old Lady: Well, by then, I was feeling so spicy that I just laid down and told him Take me, young man. Take me now!
Defense Attorney: Did he take you?
Little Old Lady: Hell, no! He just yelled, April Fool!And thats when I shot him, the little bastard.