steveinbsas
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- Jul 27, 2006
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In case anyone is wondering about my "dating hundreds of women and connecting with only a few," I deleted the first sentence of my "PS" when I edited it.
Here's what I wrote (as I remember it):
"In the past 53 years (that's how long it's been since I was fifteen) I've dated hundreds of women on four continents. I got along with almost all of them, but only connected with a few of them."
PS2: As I se it, the purpose of dating someone is to see if there is a possibility of a connection. To establish a relationship is the only reason to continue dating them. Sometimes it's possible to know there is no possibility of developing a relationship on the first date. Most of us know this from experience. Some of us find (or put) ourselves in a position where it's very difficult to develop a relationship. I know this from experience, too.
From the age of 25 to 42 I lived in Park City, Utah. There was little chance to develop a long term relationship in a town full of transient woman (at least in the winter). I had a retail store on Main Street. Most of the women I dated walked through my front door. I didn't find anything sad about dating, fashion models, flight attendants (when most of them were still young and pretty) and movie stars. My store was next door to the Egyptian theater and was often filled by chilly Sundance Film Festival attendees waiting to be admitted for the next show. Park City was a great place to "fritter away my youth" and that's exactly what I said I was doing while I was doing it.
From the age of 43 to 50 I lived in Chicago where I lived with two women for one year each (1993 and 1994). That's when I did most of my dating (almost all first dates...almost all last dates, too). All of the dates (including the two women I lived with) were generated by classified ads in The Chicago Reader (without photos)!
Both women I lived with continued to date other men while I was living with them. I moved out when they told me they were getting married.
I continued to date through the Reader for the last six years I lived in Chicago., but never meet a keeper (and no one tried to keep me).
I started visiting Sayulita, Mexico in 1994 and knew then that I wanted to live there, By 1998 I was building a house in Sayulita and moved there in late 2000.
Most of the women I dated in Chicago after 1994 were not interested in "connecting" or establishing a relationship with a man who was planning on moving to Mexico by the time he turned fifty (which is exactly what I did). On the first date I was usually branded "geographically undesirable" so a "connection" was highly unlikely and a relationship was pretty much impossible. Nonetheless, I never liked going to a coffee shop or restaurant alone, so I enjoyed the "200 first dates" as much as possible. I've always been very independent and not being in a relationship doesn't bother me. Only a couple of the women were a little PO'd that I hadn't revealed my intention to leave the US in my 25 word classified ad, but thy were actually quite nice about it.
Since I moved to Latin America I've only dated three women. One in Mexico and two in Argentina (and one of them was from Uruguay). I "connected" with all three, but I din't develop a long term relationship with them. None of them had a problem with my desire to live in Latin America. I've established a "connection"with a woman who lives in one of the nearby cities. I saw her today and we talked about relationships and independence. She's a fairly recent divorcee, so I'm not trying to push her into a relationship. It's clear she likes the fact that I give her all the space she needs and I make no demands...none whatsoever.
One thing I can say with a high degree of confidence (but no arrogance): After I'm gone, she'll have a hard time connecting with any of the local men.
PS: If there's one thing I don't feel is sad about my life, especially my love life. Along the way a few women have referred to me as a vagabond. This song by Rod McKuen was recorded when I was nineteen. It has become my "theme" song through the years. Coincidentally, the first girl I ever kissed on the lips in 1966 (she was nineteen then) introduced me to Rod Mckuen that summer at a band camp. I was already a huge Frank Sinatra fan. We never dated, but three years later she was the first to show me how good love could (and would) be to me, even though I would never see her again. I still think of her often.
PS3: I apologize for making this thread more about me than I should have, but I was compelled (by myself of course) to respond the the condescending comment about how sad my life must be,
I hope the "local lady" finds a nice, middle aged expat man.
We really do have a lot more to offer than the local men, and once a Latin woman discovers it, it's hard to settle for less.
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