Local lady

steveinbsas

Registered
. In regards to you dating hundreds of women and connecting with only a few of them sounds rather sad and bring about the question of what does "connecting" with another person really mean? To me to connect with someone is to date someone, otherwise why would I date them if I cannot connect with them? Isn't the purpose of a relationship is to connect with another individual on some deeper level so that we can relate to them? Otherwise why not just call it friendship?
In case anyone is wondering about my "dating hundreds of women and connecting with only a few," I deleted the first sentence of my "PS" when I edited it.

Here's what I wrote (as I remember it):

"In the past 53 years (that's how long it's been since I was fifteen) I've dated hundreds of women on four continents. I got along with almost all of them, but only connected with a few of them."

PS2: As I se it, the purpose of dating someone is to see if there is a possibility of a connection. To establish a relationship is the only reason to continue dating them. Sometimes it's possible to know there is no possibility of developing a relationship on the first date. Most of us know this from experience. Some of us find (or put) ourselves in a position where it's very difficult to develop a relationship. I know this from experience, too.

From the age of 25 to 42 I lived in Park City, Utah. There was little chance to develop a long term relationship in a town full of transient woman (at least in the winter). I had a retail store on Main Street. Most of the women I dated walked through my front door. I didn't find anything sad about dating, fashion models, flight attendants (when most of them were still young and pretty) and movie stars. My store was next door to the Egyptian theater and was often filled by chilly Sundance Film Festival attendees waiting to be admitted for the next show. Park City was a great place to "fritter away my youth" and that's exactly what I said I was doing while I was doing it.

From the age of 43 to 50 I lived in Chicago where I lived with two women for one year each (1993 and 1994). That's when I did most of my dating (almost all first dates...almost all last dates, too). All of the dates (including the two women I lived with) were generated by classified ads in The Chicago Reader (without photos)!

Both women I lived with continued to date other men while I was living with them. I moved out when they told me they were getting married.

I continued to date through the Reader for the last six years I lived in Chicago., but never meet a keeper (and no one tried to keep me).

I started visiting Sayulita, Mexico in 1994 and knew then that I wanted to live there, By 1998 I was building a house in Sayulita and moved there in late 2000.

Most of the women I dated in Chicago after 1994 were not interested in "connecting" or establishing a relationship with a man who was planning on moving to Mexico by the time he turned fifty (which is exactly what I did). On the first date I was usually branded "geographically undesirable" so a "connection" was highly unlikely and a relationship was pretty much impossible. Nonetheless, I never liked going to a coffee shop or restaurant alone, so I enjoyed the "200 first dates" as much as possible. I've always been very independent and not being in a relationship doesn't bother me. Only a couple of the women were a little PO'd that I hadn't revealed my intention to leave the US in my 25 word classified ad, but thy were actually quite nice about it.

Since I moved to Latin America I've only dated three women. One in Mexico and two in Argentina (and one of them was from Uruguay). I "connected" with all three, but I din't develop a long term relationship with them. None of them had a problem with my desire to live in Latin America. I've established a "connection"with a woman who lives in one of the nearby cities. I saw her today and we talked about relationships and independence. She's a fairly recent divorcee, so I'm not trying to push her into a relationship. It's clear she likes the fact that I give her all the space she needs and I make no demands...none whatsoever.

One thing I can say with a high degree of confidence (but no arrogance): After I'm gone, she'll have a hard time connecting with any of the local men.

PS: If there's one thing I don't feel is sad about my life, especially my love life. Along the way a few women have referred to me as a vagabond. This song by Rod McKuen was recorded when I was nineteen. It has become my "theme" song through the years. Coincidentally, the first girl I ever kissed on the lips in 1966 (she was nineteen then) introduced me to Rod Mckuen that summer at a band camp. I was already a huge Frank Sinatra fan. We never dated, but three years later she was the first to show me how good love could (and would) be to me, even though I would never see her again. I still think of her often.


PS3: I apologize for making this thread more about me than I should have, but I was compelled (by myself of course) to respond the the condescending comment about how sad my life must be,

I hope the "local lady" finds a nice, middle aged expat man.

We really do have a lot more to offer than the local men, and once a Latin woman discovers it, it's hard to settle for less.
 
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Please forgive me for sort of hijacking this innocent post but I would like to use this opportunity to bring the issue of opportunistic dating into the light and get some feedback from fellow users on this forum who can maybe share their thoughts and feelings.
That is not what the original poster asked for. Instead of hijacking a thread, you could start a new one.

To answer the OP: milongas may work. I am a foreigner and I met 2 local girlfriends here in a milonga (or they met me).

I asked some women how they got a boyfriend here, because it appears finding a partner is not always easy either here or in Belgium. A response I got is that Tinder is also used a lot here to find a partner for people between 35 - 45 years old. (I am 38 years old, so I asked people about my age). I do not believe in online dating, but apparently for some people it works. They explained me that the reason why Tinder works for women is because there are so many more men on Tinder than women. The women ignore most of the guys and they can be selective. It appears that if some people proceed to a date, the other person is often completely different from what was expected, but there have also been positive surprises and some couples have formed that way. The women had to admit that even though they could be selective on Tinder, they had to spend a lot of time to select someone. I do not want to waste my time on that and I prefer meeting people in the milonga, because there as a guy, the selection is in my advantage and also you have a better first impression when you meet people in real life.
 

steveinbsas

Registered
Where can she meet the kind of man she seeks? It would seem not on this forum
In the twelve plus years I've been a member of this forum I never though of it as a dating site or a "place" to meet someone for a romantic relationship, though there's always the remote possibility that could happen. It would be far more likely to happen if there was a "dating" section where individuals could post personal profiles with photos and relevant data, including age and interests. I know that's been suggested at least once, but so far such a feature has (obviously) not appeared.

Since the local lady doesn't have a photo posted here and only indicated she would like to meet a middle aged expat, it's even less likely she would get a personal response (aka interest in a PM) from any of the single, middle aged expat men who are members. The only regular social gathering that I know of for the members (and lurkers) of this site are the coffee chats. I'm too far away (actually in Buenos Aires as the locals/natives refer to it) to attend the coffee chats, so I don't know if they are well attended by middle aged expat men who are looking for a local lady too connect with.

The fact that no one has (yet) suggested that the local lady attend the coffee chats may be an indication they aren't. When I lived in Capital Federal I sponsored about six expat lunches that were attended on average by 20 to 30 people, but it wasn't meant to be a "mixer" for singles (though there was always the possibility of meeting someone for a romantic relationship).

As far as I know, he "biggest" website for dating in Latin America is Latin American Cupid (.com), but I think far more Argentine women use Badoo than LAC as (I think) it's possible to send and read messages on Badoo without paying (at least it was nine years ago when I tried the site), LAC requires that one party have a paid membership for both the sender and recipient to read messages ($12 USD per month (paid annually) for a platinum membership). On any given evening there are usually about 4000 members on line and half of them are women, but while there might be 150-200 women from Colombia or Peru on line at any given moment during the peak hours, there are likely to be fewer than 20 Argentine women logged on at the same time.
 

sergio

Registered
In the twelve plus years I've been a member of this forum I never though of it as a dating site or a "place" to meet someone for a romantic relationship, though there's always the remote possibility that could happen. It would be far more likely to happen if there was a "dating" section where individuals could post personal profiles with photos and relevant data, including age and interests. I know that's been suggested at least once, but so far such a feature has (obviously) not appeared.

Since the local lady doesn't have a photo posted here and only indicated she would like to meet a middle aged expat, it's even less likely she would get a personal response (aka interest in a PM) from any of the single, middle aged expat men who are members. The only regular social gathering that I know of for the members (and lurkers) of this site are the coffee chats. I'm too far away (actually in Buenos Aires as the locals/natives refer to it) to attend the coffee chats, so I don't know if they are well attended by middle aged expat men who are looking for a local lady too connect with.

The fact that no one has (yet) suggested that the local lady attend the coffee chats may be an indication they aren't. When I lived in Capital Federal I sponsored about six expat lunches that were attended on average by 20 to 30 people, but it wasn't meant to be a "mixer" for singles (though there was always the possibility of meeting someone for a romantic relationship).

As far as I know, he "biggest" website for dating in Latin America is Latin American Cupid (.com), but I think far more Argentine women use Badoo than LAC as (I think) it's possible to send and read messages on Badoo without paying (at least it was nine years ago when I tried the site), LAC requires that one party have a paid membership for both the sender and recipient to read messages ($12 USD per month (paid annually) for a platinum membership). On any given evening there are usually about 4000 members on line and half of them are women, but while there might be 150-200 women from Colombia or Peru on line at any given moment during the peak hours, there are likely to be fewer than 20 Argentine women logged on at the same time.
I was being droll, implying that she had not found a very encouraging response from this forum. Actually I don't think she was looking for a dating service on baexpats. She had asked for recommendations as to where she might go, no? That could have included social clubs, organistions etc.
 

London2Baires

Registered
Hi! I'm a single local Lady who lived abroad for several years and came back to BA. I am single again and I don't connect with local men anymore...ahy ideas of where to meet a nice middle age expat in BA (milongas, events?)
Hey,

You can try some language events like mundolingo. Though the age range may be somewhat broad there.

Also, you never know who you may meet at the expat coffee chats. It's not really a dating event as such, though I met my ex there, and I think a few others have hooked up through meeting there too.

Then also, as others have said, Tinder and Badoo are pretty big here for dating. May be worth checking out.

Personally I think I'll stay single for a while!

Each to their own though.

Good Luck!

:=)
 
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