Marriage

[tangobob]

Sign a prenuptial agreement. If they don't hold water in Argentina, get married in the UK.

So who says they hold any water in the UK.
At least in Argentina the split is equal, under UK law the judge decides.
I know a lot of divorcees (Wrexham is the UK capitol of divorce, look it up), and almost ivariably the wife gets the bigger share.

No one has told my wife yet, that is why we are still married.

 

[glasgowjohn]

So who says they hold any water in the UK.
At least in Argentina the split is equal, under UK law the judge decides.
I know a lot of divorcees (Wrexham is the UK capitol of divorce, look it up), and almost ivariably the wife gets the bigger share.

No one has told my wife yet, that is why we are still married.

Hope she doesn't read BAEXPATS........

 

[syngirl]

As posted somewhere in another thread -- prenuptials won't necessarily serve to protect you anyway, as if you get divorced whoever files will probably do so in the country that will benefit them the most -- there was an article in the Economist some years ago about this -- search the forum you'll find a link for it.

Committing to marriage means you're committing to being vulnerable to someone else as well, and it seems like you don't have enough trust in the relationship to gamble that it will go well. You never know with a marriage, like any relationship, it goes well until it doesn't. ie you could be together for 30+ years and then divorce anyway -- in which case a prenup won't serve to protect you since I think they are usually only valid for 10 years.

Civil relationships don't protect you any more than a marriage -- at least in most countries. More and more people are discovering that while they thought that living together but not getting married protected their assets, they're now realising that judges and the law don't see it that way -- you live together under the same roof for X number of years, file your taxes together, probably have at least some holdings in common (even just your furniture or a car), kids etc and when you break up everything gets split up the same as with a divorce, and you may end up having to pay support to your ex anyway (for the case that blew this myth of civil relationships giving more protection out of the water in Quebec, where no one gets married anymore, look up what happened to the founder of Cirque du Soleil -- his Brazilian girlfriend that he brought back to Canada has scored a ridiculous settlement of something like 50k a month support because the judge acknowledged that their relationship was a marriage in every respect but the ceremony).

 

[Chaz]

It is possible for your partner to apply for a partner's visa (unmarried), if you have been together and can prove it for over two years. Check the British Immigration website. It is not easy to get and she has to do it before she enters the UK.

I understand your fears about getting married and they are normal.

 

[jago25_98]

I just want to say thanks for the support.

My partner knows how I feel about it.
After seeing me balling my eyes out I think she understands that it's not just about money but that I value my personal sovereignty too.

What is hard is how we are treated by society. I want to be able to call her my wife and travel together viewed as such.

For me the law of attraction is very clear. It is not unromantic to understand the mechanics of attraction; to understand allows us to truly value and protect what we have. It can be a hard lesson but if you don't get it now, life will let us know. In addition to this, the relationship has to pass the test of the psychological effect of money. For me a marriage is sewn with love, my love means safeguards protecting us from the corrupting effects of money and attraction, and current strategies I can think of for this are too dependent on personal sovereignty. I'd love to know another way.

So, we go through the bureaucratic mincing machine, with her ability to work in Spain reliant on a lazy ass coworker who is ruining our plans and no visa category seemingly to fit my work at sea.
I can handle this, just about. But I don't like seeing her go through it.

So then I think, how else can the relationship be protected from problems?

Could a company identity could be formed for each of us to get around sharing everything, or is that a bit optimistic...

 

[steveinbsas]

I just want to say thanks for the support.

My partner knows how I feel about it.
After seeing me balling my eyes out I think she understands that it's not just about money but that I value my personal sovereignty too.

What is hard is how we are treated by society. I want to be able to call her my wife and travel together viewed as such.

For me the law of attraction is very clear. It is not unromantic to understand the mechanics of attraction; to understand allows us to truly value and protect what we have. It can be a hard lesson but if you don't get it now, life will let us know. In addition to this, the relationship has to pass the test of the psychological effect of money. For me a marriage is sewn with love, my love means safeguards protecting us from the corrupting effects of money and attraction, and current strategies I can think of for this are too dependent on personal sovereignty. I'd love to know another way.

So, we go through the bureaucratic mincing machine, with her ability to work in Spain reliant on a lazy ass coworker who is ruining our plans and no visa category seemingly to fit my work at sea.
I can handle this, just about. But I don't like seeing her go through it.

So then I think, how else can the relationship be protected from problems?

Could a company identity could be formed for each of us to get around sharing everything, or is that a bit optimistic...

I'm not clear why you are concerned about "sharing everything" in a marriage. If I understand the law correctly, even in Argentina, anything you have prior to marriage would be yours after a divorce and only a divorce decree would force you to share any property that was acquired during the marriage.

If you got married and made a lot more money than your wife what outside forces would make you spend any of it on her? Is your concern being able to save and invest your earnings as you see fit, regardless of her desires, and with the assurance that your assets will not be shared when the marriage ends in divorce?

When you ask if "a company identity could be formed for each of (you)to get around sharing everything" are you thinking of forming two corporations or two sole proprietorships? Corporations can merge and individual proprietors can form partnerships, but I've never heard of them getting married.

So even if you could form a company identity you wouldn't be able to truthfully say that you are married or say that you have a wife...

And society would continue to treat you as hard as ever (whatever that means).

 

[CarverFan]

Personally, I would question the relationship if I feared sharing everything with my partner...or maybe I would question myself!

 

[syngirl]

personal sovereignty[/I] too.

Balling your eyes out over your personal sovereignity -- you are so not ready for marriage, I don't even know if you're ready for a relationship! Do yourself AND your girlfriend a favour -- end the relationship -- she deserves to be with someone that can actually trust and have faith that the relationship is going to work out.

Balling your eyes out -- are you sure you're not the Argentine in this relationship?? I've never heard of a Brit getting so dramatic!

 

[steveinbsas]

If you don't want to be married, but just want to project the image of being married, then why not just pretend to be married?

You could actually have your own personal "wedding" ceremony in the presence of those (friends and family) who have the power to grant the approval you crave. Why worry about the sanction of the government? You could write your own "vows" that limit your liability to only sharing what you feel like and that everything else is yours alone to control (and keep), including your personal sovereignty. You can promise to stay together as long as you both feel like it. Why should you care if it's a legal marriage? You can say, "We married ourselves." You can even exchange and wear rings.

If anyone knows why this would not solve the OP's problem, let them speak now...yada, yada, yada.

 

[Ashley]

Balling your eyes out over your personal sovereignity -- you are so not ready for marriage, I don't even know if you're ready for a relationship! Do yourself AND your girlfriend a favour -- end the relationship -- she deserves to be with someone that can actually trust and have faith that the relationship is going to work out.

Balling your eyes out -- are you sure you're not the Argentine in this relationship?? I've never heard of a Brit getting so dramatic!

I have to agree. Whatever kind of long-term relationship or tie you end up forming with this girl; business, civil partnership, marriage, you are never going to be fully protected legally. But yes, if you have to question it so much, you're probably not ready.
Getting married is scary but its about faith at the end of the day. Calling someone your wife is about trusting them and taking that leap of faith...If you're so concerned about your sovereignty or money, it's probably just not for you at the moment... A marriage just will not last if you expect to have your cake and eat it too... I'd just be careful how much you put her through to avoid it...