Me Quiero Ir

[chalinga]

ARbound,

I just wanted to reply to your post because I can totally understand what you're going through. I actually have been living in Argentina for four years. I left the US simply because I wanted to travel around and leave my home (I wasn't satisfied with the life in that particular home and thought, why not take a break?). I ended up in Argentina, first as a mere tourist in BA, and ended up living in Rio Negro. I have nothing against the capital; you find the good and the bad, but for my trading job it definitely does not work out during the summers. Plus, my husband came along, and he prefers being in small towns.

To tell you the truth, I never had the impetus of leaving Argentina until now. I felt bored in the town, yes, around the second year after a series of disappointment with the people. See, in the town I live in, people are used to tourists, but that's it. Even if I talk Spanish fluently (I had a Spanish father), I can tell you, man, that sometimes, my husband is lucky to not understand what the residents of this town say about us. I have been discriminated because of my Asian traits. And in fact, it's common for me to be called "alguien de a fuera." Oh, and of course, I have experienced the bitchy people, the greedy people, the arrogant, the people that only want to talk to me because I'm a foreigner, the discriminating people that either call me "es una china; será de ese país de Mao?" or say to my face "ay no, otro extranjero chino; hay muchos ahora por aca", etc, etc. Yes, I have seen everything bad in this small town, as well as the maladies that affect Argentina in general: lack of customer service, lack of business ethics, poor treatment to workers, problems in education, etc.

Despite these things, I carried on, narrowed my social circle to weed out the disappointing people ("users") and from these four years, I have some normal acquaintances, but one true good family to be friends with. Trust me, even my Argentine friends admit that Argentina can be an insular place. Note that in this town culture is limited, theatre tends to be political plays, even the art exhibitions, so I don't get to enjoy how it's run. Although I got involved in the politics to help the people out in environment preservation and all the social issues this town has, my ideas were rejected only because "sos una extranjera; qué van a pensar cuando ni es un argentino que pide estas cosas" despite my legal residence. So, there you have it. It was not fun in that particular town. I did enjoy my time more in other cities or really, really small villages, just not that one. I admit that it has been only in Argentina (from the South America countries that I have lived in) that I have experienced time and time again snobbery, greedy tactics or discrimination. Why? I have no idea. Bad luck? Probably. But did I enjoy my time here? Of course. People are people, and well, as long as you do everything in your power to be happy and not frustrated, you'll survive. It's about you, not them.

I'm actually leaving Argentina. Oh, sure I could stay here all I want, but since my job involves trading for politicians, this is not my country. I'm looking for a country that is much nicer in that aspect although times are rough everywhere. Trust me, if politics is a horrible business, here... wow! Vultures ahoy! So, ARbound, I can't tell you to leave or stay, enjoy or hate it, but definitely for YOUR happiness do what you feel is best. Enjoying any situation, though, is always feasible. Sorry that I can't disclose locations or names, since my job is too "I'm-watching-you".

 

[ghost]

someone should start a poll to gauge how many and to what degree people feel trapped in Argentina

 

[arlean]

Syngirl, I just got back to this thread and trying to catch up a bit. I read so many comments about your post about your experience that I actually had to go back and find it--and I too laughed. Brilliantly written. Many thanks. It was worth the search!

For ARbound, I've been in B.A. four years, but lived in Bariloche for a while and and a short time in Uruguay. Altogether I've been in S. A. about six years. I should be past "culture shock" yet lately I've had the culture shock thing as well. I usually am not a "down" person but even I can feel that way at times, but I could feel that way in the States as well. When I'm here, it is a little natural to long to return to the comfortable and familiar. If it happened in the States I'd have to look for a different solution.I know that. But just getting back to familiar territory looks attractive. So . . .

I've thought lately of going back also. Even talked to my son about it, but when it comes right down to it, I'm not going back. I know that I'm motivated right now by emotion and I think emotion is undependable. It can even be affected by how much Vitamin B you have in your system and whether you are thinking negatively or positively. I am thinking negatively! I have been without gas in my apartment for a couple of months. I went to Chile and was visiting just fine with friends. My real estate manager wrote me that I needed to come back because they can't finish the building because she doesn't have the key and they have to get in the apartment. She DOES have the keys. I gave them to her personally. But she insisted that she does not. I am sure she just didn't want to come over here and oversee. So I've been back two weeks, still no gas. I told her if I come back I want a way to cook, like an electric hot plate, if I come back and there is no gas. She thinks I have to figure it out since it isn't their fault and I say I pay for an apartment every month that is livable so it is your responsibility.to provide at least something to make coffee. I made it clear. So I came back, no hotplate--she won't answer my emails and I've tried to catch her on the phone. They say she will call when she gets in, but she apparently never '"gets in." I'm going to contact the owner after Christmas and I will move from here. The owner has called me on occasion and told me she appreciates me and why not. I was here four years, pay every month on time, I don't damage the apartment.

So I am thinking pretty negatively. Rage would be a good word! But logic is what counts, and for me, logic tells me to stay. I haven't been back in about six years and people who do go tell me how much it has changed. That things are getting worse, not better. One of my kids tells me he's having a lot of problem now with theft, which was not the case before. Theft of tools and other things. He found some in a pawn shop, the guy had to leave ID to pawn the stuff and so he is prosecuting him. Turns out the man has a long record. Someone even kicked in the door on one of his houses. He says things are changing. Chalinga is right. Times are rough everywhere. I wouldn't try to say stay or leave either. I only offer the idea to beware of emotions. Emotions are not dependable (in my opinion) but logic is the way to go. Consider everything involved and then make a logical decision. I find that then emotions come into line if we do it that way.

 

[khairyexpat]

someone should start a poll to gauge how many and to what degree people feel trapped in Argentina

I second the motion to start this poll, what are the issues, the pit falls, the expectations vs. reality, ...

Before Xmas I wrote this: (little I knew)

It would be an oxymoron paradox to imagine an unhappy expat (as if any one is being forced to stay). Expats actively and voluntarily chose to go through the trouble of uprooting themselves from home to come here. Living and documenting the NEW UNFAMILIAR ways and REAL experiences is not a show of unhappiness or criticism, on the contrary.

By definition, there is no such a thing as an unhappy expat.
An unhappy expat has long gone, easily.

I'm really shocked, I never ever imagined that there are unhappy expats here, let alone sooooooo many.
Is it the Xmas time with family and friends?, the heat?, the comfort of home? .... what stirred up all these emotions?
What happened ?

Even with the risk and all the restrictions and difficulties of being a 9 years perma-tourist, all the quirks, strange weird things they do, their arrogance (even morons sometimes), atrocious taste in food, ... yet they are NOT MEAN SPIRITED, and they are REALLY REALLY NICE & FUN to be around. (who is perfect?)

Arlean, I bought a little portable propane (size of a phone book), and an electric hot plate. SHUTTING THE GAS OFF FOR 3 MONTHS IS A NONE EVENT. If you try to make it an event, it will be against a steep and unpleasant hill.

I posted "Been Doing the Wrong Thing", explains their UNDOCUMENTED UNWRITTEN rules. We adapt, ... they're not going to change for us, ... we are not going to change them .... forget it.

 

[arlean]

My point, hairyexpat, was not to complain about the landlord, it was to show how emotions and frustration here can influence your decisions and I think it's important to make sure that our decisions aren't based on emotion but on logic. It made even me think of returning. So I understand how that happens.But if we hang in there it usually passes. Or so I think.

I will add though that, first, I don't believe all Argentines are incompetent. I deal with some very competent business people. One Argentine man I know complains all the time about Argentines and says, "The problem is they don't take any pride in their work." I point out that HE is Argentine and HE does and he says, "I'm not Argentine, I'm German (giggle). He's Argentine! Maybe with German heritage. My lawyer and his entire law firm are 100% competent. I've dealt with them for four years and I am sure. Plus they are incredibly courteous and caring. And they are Argentine! When I first told him about the gas he said, "You can't live there like that, I am going to find you an apartment." I said No, I think I'll just go on over to Chile and come back when it's done. I should have listened. He always gives me good advice and I take it--usually. This time I didn't, to my regret.

I pay as a temporary tenant for a furnished apartment. If I have to start furnishing it, my lawyer is right. it's time to move.