Problems Getting In The Back Door

[ticktock]

After a heavy night out boozing, I have on more than one occasion lost my keys. Instead of fumbling around at the front and trying to press all the wrong buttons I have taken to forcefully coming in the back door. The first couple of times I faced a little resistance but lately it seems to jammed shut (possibly swollen from the rain or maybe even rusted).

Does anyone have any suggestions for loosening up a stubborn back door to allow for easier entry?

thanks

 

[BienTeVeo]

What a promising title to this post. But now I see, alas, that it concerns an actual back door. In any case, I'll try to help. Here are a few things you might try:

1. You might try running as fast as you can directly at the door.
2. The door may indeed be swollen a result of all the recent humidity. Whenever you go out boozing, bring a blow-dryer with you. Maybe even two. Of course, you'll need something to plug it (them) into. Can't help you there.
3. Go back around to the front and wait for a thief to walk by. Shouldn't take long. If that doesn't work out, wait for a cop. That could take longer. Make sure you know how to tell the two apart.
4. Continue boozing, only really go for it this time (so that you're no longer care whether the backdoor opens or not).

Cheers!

 

[ticktock]

I have tried holding it open and forcing myself in, but that causes too much noise and I do not like to disturb the neighbors.

 

[Smcali23]

WD-40 or vaseline - one or the other will open any door.

 

[Nounou]

After a heavy night out boozing, I have on more than one occasion lost my keys. Instead of fumbling around at the front and trying to press all the wrong buttons I have taken to forcefully coming in the back door. The first couple of times I faced a little resistance but lately it seems to jammed shut (possibly swollen from the rain or maybe even rusted).

Does anyone have any suggestions for loosening up a stubborn back door to allow for easier entry?

thanks

Sounds like you have not read "101 Usefull Tips" written by Andy McNab, he of Bravo Two Zero fame and of course a living legend in his own lunchtime. You could of course dress head to toe in black and try the classic door rush, see Iranian Embassy, London circa 1980 for visual instruction........please ensure you avoid shoulder dislocation, and definatley no 'flash bangs' lest you annoy the neighbours! Failing that if the great British tradition of the garden shed exists in Argentina, sleep in there for the night All said in gest, WD 40 will suffice, strategically placed near offending back door of course. Good luck

 

[JoeBlow]

Hey, all you people that tryin' to sleep
I'm out to make it with my midnight dream, yeah
'Cause I'm a back door man
The men don't know
But the little girls understand
All right, yeah

You men eat your dinner
Eat your pork and beans
I eat more chicken
Than any man ever seen, yeah, yeah

I'm a back door man, wha
The men don't know
But the little girl understand

Well, I'm a back door man
I'm a back door man
Whoa, baby, I'm a back door man
The men don't know
But the little girls understand

 

[ticktock]

What a promising title to this post. But now I see, alas, that it concerns an actual back door. In any case, I'll try to help. Here are a few things you might try:

1. You might try running as fast as you can directly at the door.
2. The door may indeed be swollen a result of all the recent humidity. Whenever you go out boozing, bring a blow-dryer with you. Maybe even two. Of course, you'll need something to plug it (them) into. Can't help you there.
3. Go back around to the front and wait for a thief to walk by. Shouldn't take long. If that doesn't work out, wait for a cop. That could take longer. Make sure you know how to tell the two apart.
4. Continue boozing, only really go for it this time (so that you're no longer care whether the backdoor opens or not).

Cheers!

Staying in the pub is probably the best idea. Smashing in her back doors (the home belongs to my GF) and involving the police is probably not a good idea.

 

[PhilinBSAS]

1. Buy your GF a cat for Christmas -

2. Install a cat flap in the back door

3. either you go on a diet or

4. get a Tommy the Tiger suit and prowl around the neighbourhood a few nights

 

[ticktock]

1. Buy your GF a cat for Christmas -

2. Install a cat flap in the back door

3. either you go on a diet or

4. get a Tommy the Tiger suit and prowl around the neighbourhood a few nights

Dressing up on all fours at the back door with a new little pussy is probably not going to earn me any brownie points

 

[sleslie23]

The door is just a symptom of much deeper problem. You're getting so drunk you lose your keys but not drunk enough to not care about going home.

Some may suggest drinking less. Personally, I would suggest drinking more (preferably hard liquor) and just sleep where fate (and gravity) takes you.