Scotland, You Want Out? Let The Usa Take Your Place

scotttswan

scotttswan

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http://edition.cnn.com/2014/09/12/opinion/wheeler-scotland-referendum/index.html


:lol:
 
If Scotland managed to get independence it would years before anyone sobered up long enough to realise what they'd achieved. A minging hangover would paralyse the country from 2024 until around 2030.

Once Irn Bru (hangover recovery juice) stocks deplete some semblance of Industry would re-establish itself and the Scots will join the Irish at the top table of wee countrys that America likes.

First, whisky, pints of smooth and monumental fcking hangovers.

(sadly it won't happen...I can but wish).
 
ajoknoblauch said:
My Argentine wife is a royalist, though she will deny it.
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I remember seeing video of a Falklands protester wearing a shirt with a Union Jack patch on the sleeve - I'm sure with no irony intended. Many in this country are seriously confused in their feelings about the UK.
 
cavehill said:
(sadly it won't happen...I can but wish).
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If you asked me a few weeks ago i'd be 99.999% sure that it wont happen, but now i'm not too sure. It seems like the UK Better together campaign are doing everything possible to push a yes vote. Orange order marches, Nigel Farage, David Cameron all doing their wee bit. :lol:

Turnout could well be over 90% too, unheard of in Scotland. Whatever the vote i don't think they'll be able to do a Thatcher and ignore the fact that a federlisation within the UK really needs to happen.
 
What portion of The Falklands is converted to Scottish authority?
 
The Scotts can enjoy the Oil field in the north sea, perhaps can make a bonanza till circa 2050...
After that, can rejoin the GB again!
 
speaking of the US wanting to become a crown colony:


To the citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II,
In light of your failure in recent years to nominate competent candidates for President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately. (You should look up 'revocation' in the Oxford English Dictionar y.)Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories (except North Dakota, which she does not fancy). Your new Prime Minister, David Cameron, will appoint a Governor for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire may be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.
To aid in the transition to a British Crown dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:
1. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'colour,' 'favour,' 'labour' and 'neighbour.' Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters, and the suffix '-ize' will be replaced by the suffix '-ise.' Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels.
(look up 'vocabulary').
2. Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as like' and 'you know' is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. There is no such thing as U.S. English. We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take into account the reinstated letter 'u and the elimination of '-ize.'
3. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday.
4. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers, or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not quite ready to be independent. Guns should only be used for shooting grouse. If you can't sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist, then you're not ready to shoot grouse.
5. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler, although a permit will be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.
6. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left side with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Both roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.
7. The former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been calling gasoline) of roughly $10/US gallon. Get used to it.
8. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed not with catsup but with vinegar.
9. The cold, tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as beer, and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as Lager. South African beer is also acceptable, as they are pound for pound the greatest sporting nation on earth and it can only be due to the beer. They are also part of the British Commonwealth - see what it did for them. American brands will be referred to as Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine, so that all can be sold without risk of further confusion.
10. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as good guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to play English characters. Watching Andie Macdowell attempt English dialect in Four Weddings and a Funeral was an experience akin to having one's ears removed with a cheese grater.
11. You will cease playing American football. There is only one kind of proper football; you call it soccer. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies).
12. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the World Series for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.1% of you are aware there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. You will learn cricket, and we will let you face the South Africans first to take the sting out of their deliveries.
13.. You must tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us mad.
14. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due (backdated to 1776).
15. Daily Tea Time begins promptly at 4 p.m. with proper cups, with saucers, and never mugs, with high quality biscuits (cookies) and cakes; plus strawberries (with cream) when in season.
16. You will all be required to unquestioningly love and admire Duchess Catherine Middleton. However since your media have already persuaded your love to her, less enforcement will be measured.
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The best argument against Scotland's leaving is that it would hand over the UK to the Tories (and worse).
 
ajoknoblauch said:
The best argument against Scotland's leaving is that it would hand over the UK to the Tories (and worse).
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to Monsieur Farage?

Meanwhile Tsar Vladi V of the house of Putin is celebrating the suicide of the West....
"yes let's have a referendum in Catalonia and in Florida too, they're mostly Russian in Florida"
etc...
Not just the Basques, Catalonians, Venetians, Flemish, and Bavarians are looking at this potential divorce, (Turkish) Kurdistan and even the Texas Nationalist Party are assisting to secessionist meetings in Scotland. Seems like Nationalist is the key word here.

If this can be defined as a divorce I suppose by default there's no doubt as to who wears the trousers in this relationship
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