Why a facade of indifference?

[JoeBlow]

On another thread, somebody mentioned this in reference to women here in Argentina:

"A lot of it is wanting to emulate NY, and another part is the therapist culture in BA that encourages narcissism and other bad things."

Having never been to New York, but knowing that New Yorkers have a reputation in the US for being brusque, I just wonder how much emulation is going on? I'm not referring just to women, but, in general, people here seem to make an extra effort at showing how indifferent they can be to strangers.

PS I also heard that in France people "aren't very friendly" (stereotypes aside, of course).

Thoughts?

 

[Hellek]

I don't understand the facade-part. People actually ARE indifferent to strangers, all over the world. Especially in the big cities. That "they robbed me and nobody cared" etc. stuff happens in NY, Paris, BsAs, Vienna, London, wherever you look. Meeting somebody and not being able to show how you are "useful" to them? Most probably a very brief encounter. All over the world too.
Am I on the wrong track due to missunderstanding your post, or is that what you are thinking about?

 

[JoeBlow]

I don't understand the facade-part. People actually ARE indifferent to strangers, all over the world. Especially in the big cities. That "they robbed me and nobody cared" etc. stuff happens in NY, Paris, BsAs, Vienna, London, wherever you look. Meeting somebody and not being able to show how you are "useful" to them? Most probably a very brief encounter. All over the world too.
Am I on the wrong track due to missunderstanding your post, or is that what you are thinking about?

Well, I think you are. Let me explain.

People often won't smile at or say hello to a person they don't know. They don't have to know you well, mind you--just have to have broken the ice.

Other evidence for the facade: people will often bump into wiothout saying excuse me. Cars more often than not will cut off pedestrians. Women, especially, will ignore men (and perhaps other women) on the street/in public places. I have walked past the same people everyday for years and they still don't recognize my presence. (Of course, I could take the initiative, and I have on occasion, but stern looks aren't very inviting).

I say facade, however, because people are on the whole very pleasant once you break the ice.

 

[jp]

Part of it is just big city living. If you pass millions of people a day, they don't all get your warmest smile and a hug.

But on the whole, I've had people go miles out of their way to help us out over the years, despite not knowing us from Adam. So our experience as been the opposite.

 

[Matt84]

ladies wont smile at you, Really? go to colonia or any other safe lil town, ladies will smile at you for 15' before giving you the item you asked 30' before. it's more laid back....

tell me one city (downtown or cbd) where people actually smile at you for no reason - blank stares in asian countries don't count!

 

[JoeBlow]

Ok, back to the original question:


Having never been to New York, but knowing that New Yorkers have a reputation in the US for being brusque, I just wonder how much emulation is going on?

 

[kalley]

ladies wont smile at you, Really? go to colonia or any other safe lil town, ladies will smile at you for 15' before giving you the item you asked 30' before. it's more laid back....

tell me one city (downtown or cbd) where people actually smile at you for no reason - blank stares in asian countries don't count!

I can't say that this has been my experience. I live in a city of about 60,000 people on the Atlantic coast, and I remember that one of the first things that struck me when I moved here was the indifference mentioned by the OP [I wrote a blog post about it here]. Here in Necochea people are not hardened by harsh urban life; they simply don't make friendly gestures to strangers, for the most part. I've found the same to be true of people in smaller towns as well.

Once you do break the ice, though, I find people here to be quite friendly and helpful overall.

 

[steveinbsas]

Ok, back to the original question:


Having never been to New York, but knowing that New Yorkers have a reputation in the US for being brusque, I just wonder how much emulation is going on?

I can't imagine any Argentines demonstrating indifference to strangers having the slighest thought that anyone else will think they are from New York or thinking to themselves that they are acting like (or even superior to) a New Yorker by doing so.

(Isn't that what emulation means?)

 

[Matt84]

I can't say that this has been my experience. I live in a city of about 60,000 people on the Atlantic coast, and I remember that one of the first things that struck me when I moved here was the indifference mentioned by the OP [I wrote a blog post about it here]. Here in Necochea people are not hardened by harsh urban life; they simply don't make friendly gestures to strangers, for the most part. I've found the same to be true of people in smaller towns as well.

Once you do break the ice, though, I find people here to be quite friendly and helpful overall.

might be thinking of uruguayans. anyway, there's a lot of generalizing here.
you chose necochea, that's unusual, interesting blog, stunning sunrises.

 

[kalley]

might be thinking of uruguayans. anyway, there's a lot of generalizing here.
you chose necochea, that's unusual, interesting blog, stunning sunrises.

My husband is from Necochea, so perhaps it's more accurate to say that Necochea chose me. Thanks for checking out my blog.