Breaking in to Argentine social groups

[citygirl]

Yes, I have found it difficult. This comes from my perspective as a)single and b) not in my early 20s. Most women I meet that are my age are married with kids and don't socialize much and if they do, it's with their girlfriends from childhood who are also married and with kids. And as far as I can tell (with one exception for which I'm grateful) friendship btwn men and expat women is pretty much an unheard of concept.

So meeting people is difficult. The friends I've made are through common interests (riding in my case) and I have made 2 really good woman friends. Both unfortunately live outside of the city so I don't see them as often as I would like.

By default, I wound up being friends with mostly expats but that sucks as well b/c 95% of them leave.

 

[Cangurito]

I like steveinbsas's suggestion about inviting them first.

Here in BS you communicate different levels interest 'when' and to 'where' you invite prospective friends.

Sunday 'asado' lunch is a big thing here and is quite intimate. Asado sends a strong message that you really want friendship. Argentines sometimes feel uncomfortable accepting Sunday lunch as a first invite, especially if they're uncertain about whether they want you as a friend.

More often than not, if you invite for the first time, you pay, this appears to be the custom and is a strong gesture of friendship. Going 'dutch' on a first invite is considered strange. Se dice que raro que son que tenemos que pagar.

Argentines in BS often have very small apartments and may feel uncomfortable inviting you to their home. This may contribute to the popularity of restaurants and 'telos'.

 

[Cangurito]

Citygirl, similar to you, i've had some really good friendships with expats but they leave which is disappointing. I'm here for the long haul and approach expat friendships with caution due to the amount of effort and limited free time available required to establish a friendship versus the long term payoff. Local argentine friends are the way to go for me. Once I understood the 'unwritten' customs I found it easier to break into local social groups.

Generally speaking, men here, as in the states and australia have an code of silence which must be earned. They appear to like to enjoy multiple partners even if they are married or in a stable relationship. Whether this is just bravado or fact is unknown to me but they talk about it a lot. For that reason, and others, it can take some time to establish trust between men.

 

[Jvanka]

Well, the group thing happens here in the USA as well. I don't think is an Argentine trade mark. Just think about weddings and sitting arrangements. People grouped people because they know each other or share something in common.
Language is a big deal. By nature I think Argentinians are shy to speak English. They feel like "I better keep my mouth shout than speak an be a clown" Therefore they never talk much in English unless they are forced. So the burden is on you, practice more Spanish, push yourself to the situations where you have no choice but to speak Spanish, and little by little you will get better at it.
Have more meet ups one on one. This will push the other party to talk in English and share more with you. If you want to crash in a group, you will probably be out of place. Again, this is not just because you are a foreign, it happens also between Argentinians, they do discriminate a lot (in a good way and in a bad way as well)
Just relax and enjoy
Cheers

 

[steveinbsas]

Language is a big deal. By nature I think Argentinians are shy to speak English. They feel like "I better keep my mouth shout than speak an be a clown" Therefore they never talk much in English unless they are forced. So the burden is on you, practice more Spanish, push yourself to the situations where you have no choice but to speak Spanish, and little by little you will get better at it.

Even though I know many Argentines who speak very good English, isn't the key to integrating into Argentine social groups our ability to communicate in their language?????!!!!!!

 

[arty]

I was fortunate enough to make friends with a great local who was nice enough to share her group of friends with me. I also jump at any chance to hang out with them and I don't mind if they all speak spanish around me. I get a kick out of being the only American when I go out with them. It helps not to be closed minded when it comes to kisses guys on the cheek or trying fernet.