Homesickness. What do you do?

[ElQueso]

I think for newcomers it is very important to have some expat acquaintances that become friends. There is nothing at all wrong with seeking out friends from cultures that are the same or similar to yours. Without my many expat friends I would likely have not survived my first year here very well.

You'll gradually make your way into the local scene, and those same expats will be a big help in that as you are introduced to some of their local friends. In the meantime you get some support that you need to get over your feelings of homesickness.

Many people have made the observation to get out when you start feeling depressed, and that is a great suggestion as well. I used to take long walks (30-40 blocks and back) just to get outside and realize that there are other people in the world, not just faceless people making noise that I hear inside my apartment.

Go see a movie. Sit at an outside cafe and have a beer or something else to drink, even by yourself. People watch. It all helps.

 

[Katie159]

...reading all of these is really helping me too...thankyou! I also understand the "failure" aspect of it but I am not going to take that onboard! whatever happens..when you go back home you are the one that tried something different! The ones who look at you as if you are failing...have they ever tried something like this??! The people who have will understand you not judge you! Do what you think will make you happiest...I am trying to listen to my own advice too...I have said to myself that if by 6 months I still feel in any way like this then I have learnt what I needed too and I can move onto something new...even if that is being at home for a while...its all an adventure no matter where you are!! x

 

[hepdoll]

Hi again, everyone. Thank you SO much for you continued comments and encouragement. I can't tell you how much it has helped me to read through your thoughts. Especially about the practical things I can do and about going easier on myself. It's too bad that with the holidays, a lot of things are slow in the city right now, but I'm looking forward to branching out into new activities and meeting more people once things pick up again.

I'm still having my ups and downs, but I do feel better knowing that I'm not alone in this and that it's normal! (Although I'm sure that most of us wish that it weren't.) I send a lot of support and hugs to all of you! And I hope that this thread will keep helping others with homesickness as it comes up in their lives; I certainly plan to come back to it for encouragement when I feel down.

Thanks again, everyone. Happy holidays! abrazos y besos, xx

 

[Mano Negra]

Sometimes i wish i was blind I guess you mean that refunding the debt is not cultural, which leads to investors distrust and subsequently bankrupcy. Germany distrusts culturally debt and they do get loans to buy their houses. Argentina has no fear of debt, the more the better, that s why argentines can t borrow and the bank system is obsolete. The argentine economic recovery from 2003 has mainly been fueled by free consumption credits and you need to be blind not to see all the advertising offering to on credit. The cashier will automaticly ask you if you want to pay in 12 quotas...

Anyways, i m going off topic again

You are off topic, but also wrong...there is a big difference between spreading the payment on some consumer item and financing your lifestyle through refinancing your property as became prevalent in the US and UK especially. How many argentines do you know with a mortgage?

 

[Mano Negra]

Ha Ha Ha! Thanks for the good laugh Miles! You must know VERY different families than the ones I know!

Argentine families like any families around the world aen't just nice and quiet -- they also come in formats of ridiculously conservative, embarassingly abrassive, shockingly racist, confoundedly religious, and immensely hypocritical.

Christmas with my husband's tios are far from quiet, they start at about 8pm with a glass of champagne and we usually leave about 4am when the conversation inevitably turns to how much better we were under the dictatorship.... They are lovely people but -- never, ever mention to Tia Nora a desire to go to Peru or Bolivia, you'll never hear the end of it. Never tell Nora y Jorge that you just went to your best friend's gay marriage unless you want to be the one that starts a war across the table. Try not to make your aversion to religion too evident in front of Vanessa. However you can mess with her boyfriend's head because you're probably the only one at the table that's realised he's coked up beyond the moon... Think Macri's done a good job of cleaning up the city? Uh-oh -- you'll have the wrath of Cata on you telling you how much better it was in the time of the militares... Oh and if you stick around long enough and serve him drinks all night Juan will tell you all about his time spent in Mussolini's army and invite you around to see his Nazi china set next time you're out that way!

Allow more freedom? That really really depends on the family -- I know a tonne of people that live one life outside their home and another completely different one at the family table under threat of being disinherited (a ludicrous tool to wield, but when daddy bought the apartment you live in and would kick you out and leave you penniless if he knew what you were really up to on the weekends, a tool you have to pay attention to)

Argentine families are just as wacko as any other families, and there are a lot of skeletons in the closets* here, that's for sure.

*said skeletons may or may not be a lot more creepy than skeletons in your family's closet!

Quiet referred to Christmas rather than family...and it is much easier to find someone else's family amusing than your own...However, your's sound like a lot of fun, I look forward to an invite in the New Year. I am sure they will appreciate my treatise on how the Falklands war saved them from an oppressive regime! Always follows on well from "now, which catholic Bishop is it that is being accused of child molesting...aren't they all at it?".

Perhaps the Argentines I know are a little more international...then again as one of my best friends is a taxi driver here and the least biggoted person I know, maybe not.

Back to loneliness, maybe get a pet? I have a few horses and they are always demanding timewise...but perhaps that is what takes your mind off feeling (or doesn't allow you the time to feel) lonely.

You are welcome to come and look after my horses Hepdoll!

 

[fifilafiloche]

You are off topic, but also wrong...there is a big difference between spreading the payment on some consumer item and financing your lifestyle through refinancing your property as became prevalent in the US and UK especially. How many argentines do you know with a mortgage?

As specified in the previous post, this has nothing to do with culture, or Argentina wouldnt have gone bankrupt. A large majority of the population doesn t have access to credit due to poverty. A lot of the countries savings are invested abroad, which can t be used for long term loans in Argentina. The lack of financing is due to distrust, both from internernational and national investors, for a culture that doesnt preserve the rights of the loaners. Nothing to do with a culture that would prefer to borrowing for ethical reasons. In a country that goes bankrupt every 10 years, it seems logical you can t get a 30 years loan to buy a house, especially when you would need 80 years to refund your loan at current housing prices in Buenos Aires.

 

[perry]

The pets are a great option for loneliness. I had a few years ago an incredible pair of siamese kittens brother and sister who cheered me up enormously . I eventually gave them away as I live in a apartment without outdoor space and they were destroying the furniture and the like with their long claws . The final decision came when the girl kitten at 8 months got pregnant and then I decided to give them away free to a family that would not clip their claws or desex the girl . An incredible family from the provinces adopted them and they live in luxury that very few cats enjoy .

If you are staying for a long period getting a pet is terrific as they give much more than we give them.

Click on attachment for the kittens

 

[EvergreenGal]

I agree 100% in getting an animal to share your life with...if you are planning on staying in BA that is...there is nothing like the unconditional love of a pet...

I must say that connecting on the www ...either IM or Skype or just plan old email has kept me close to friends and family more than I ever expected. I also use the phone cards you can get at most kiosks 10 and 20 pesos that give you 1 and 2 hours respectively of minutes. Directa is the name I believe....

I truly think that if it weren't for the holidays you wouldn't be so "blue"....it's a very emotional time and one that is spent with family and close friends....I would suggest to embrace the "newness" of BA and a very different holiday season than what you are used to...spend it with new friends and their family and this will become a very fond memory for you to look back on years from now.

Wishing you peace and much happiness over this holiday season...Merry Christmas!!

 

[hepdoll]

Thank you for the continued suggestions and encouragement! You guys are great. The days leading up to Christmas were still quite difficult for me but Christmas Eve (spent at a friend's family's house for dinner) and Christmas Day (spent on Skype with my family and then out with friends in the evening) turned out nice and, like most of you said, I have some really nice memories to take with me. Today I'm having some down moments, again, but I'm relieved to have the most emotionally important days behind me and I hope that as we pass New Year's and we sink back into regular old boring life, I'll find some renewed energy and desire to be here. (In large part because there will not be quite as many things at home that I am missing!)

For those of us who hit our 3-month mark right around the holiday season, I think we've been hit by a double-whammy. The passing of the holidays will help, but we will still need to get through the "normal" reasons for homesickness and come out on the other side of that, too, on our own schedule. So I'd just ask that if anyone who sees this thread has any more thoughts on that, please add them! I will certainly value it and I hope others in the future will refer back to this, too.

Oh, and I tell you, I would *love* to have pets! I've been wanting my own ever since I left home for college. I don't think I am living a lifestyle that would be fair to the animals, right now, but I agree with all of you who said that they are an amazing source of companionship and comfort. In fact, my dog back home in the states is part of what I am missing the most!

Thanks again, everyone.