Private School Has Failed My Family

[Markgeezer]

We are a family of Anglo-Argentine parentage with two children living in GBA.

Our youngest who has recently just turned 5 has been attending a private school for the past 3 years is being refused entrance (matricula) to go to Primary School in the same establishment for the upcoming term because of two behavioral incidents which occurred in the space of 6 weeks, approx 10 weeks ago. These were fits which involved screaming, kicking chairs etc and which the teachers were unable to control. The child is shy and does not like to be photographed or exposed, yet one of the teachers decided to film with her cell phone one of these incidents which exacerbated the situation. Prior to this and after these incidents the child’s behavior was normal. Interim reports for the child’s first three years at kinder/jardin don’t reveal very much other than some minimal obedience problems. The child is one of the youngest in the class with others nearly one year older.

We have another child at the same school in Primary who is doing great, has top marks for the year, and which we will have to remove from the school (the school didn’t offer to renew his forthcoming year either, because of his sibling!).
It’s also a downscale private school where our children stand out by being blond, but they have gelled well with their classmates. We were supportive of most of the schooling methods up until now, except perhaps the level of English.

Our main problems now include the fact that there are few private schools in our the area that we can turn to, and the public schools don’t offer the level of education we would hope for and seem to be very basic. Finally and after looking into the situation, all private schools in the area have their own problems for one reason or another e.g. extremely expensive bilingual schools but just looking at their websites shows problems with their own understanding of the English language (typos/ grammar), BUT principally THERE ARE NO SPACES for the forthcoming year in any school. There have been incidents of child abuse in two of the other private schools which we would have considered. Our options are currently nil and we could end up with no realistic schooling for our children, bearing in mind we live close to the capital of Argentina.

Previously when we started with our eldest child at this school which has jardin/primary/secondary we noted that they accepted some disabled children including a few Downs/ children with hearing problems which indicated to us that they were highly understanding. Now everything has changed and because the school is popular we suspect that they are trying to eliminate any child with any kind of problem instead of trying to help them. We are undertaking psychiatric help for our child as a result of the schools insistence even though we think that our kid is just going through a phase.

So, we find ourselves being discriminated against in an end of term CLEANSING operation and with very little notice.
What would you do in our position. If we could get our children into a better school we would, but none is available right now in our area and we are house owners here. We feel as though we are being swept to one side, that we are just a number, that the system has failed us.

Sorry for making this so long but this is a crisis for us !!!!

Any suggestions greatly appreciated.

 

[TomAtAlki]

I would interview with other schools. I know a child phycologist, I think she would be helpful and soothing. Let me know if you want her contact info, she's American.
Nancy

 

[semigoodlookin]

Well, you have limited options but you do have some.

The private schools in your area may not look great through their websites, but perhaps they just hire someone to do that? Try to arrange interviews at the actual schools to see them for yourself, you never know. By the way, I know you said all are full, but it is worth contacting anyway as there are drop outs etc, and you just never know.

Next option is to look further afield, I am not sure how easy that is for you (travel?). Is your location stated here where you actually are? If so that's quite far away I know, but if you can travel you may have to.

Next is to home school them, again I am not sure what that means for you in terms of time, and of course there are implications socially for the child potentially. However, I know a number of expats in Argentina and other countries who home schooled successfully and put their children in several extra activities (football, swimming) to make friends.

Sadly (and I think you know this), those are pretty much your options. I have not even mentioned public schools because it is clear they would not live up to the standards you are probably used to. Heck, even the private schools on a whole are terrible in my opinion. I send my kids to a solid middle class school with a historic good reputation and I am often disgusted by the methods, quality, and general curriculum. I am not sure if it's a generational thing or not, but I was far more advanced at say 7 years old than what kids are here... and I was no genius.

 

[Jaredberryman]

This was one of the many reasons my family opted for homeschool. The schools here have very crowded classes, and they can be very hard to get into. I know that not everyone can homeschool their kids, but if you might be able to do that, it's something to look into. I know that universities in the USA, for instance, have started recruiting homeschoolers because on the whole they receive a superior education (class size: 1 to 1). We have homeschooled my oldest daughter through first grade, and so far she is doing great. My sister-in-law took care of her the other day, and she was surprised at the quantity of things my daughter knows.

As far as the social aspect, it's easy to get your kids involved in something social here at a club. Where we live, the neighborhood offers free art classes and there are lots of free things for children. My daughter participates in swim lessons and an orchestra (is learning the violin at age 7). Since homeschool does not take too many hours, it frees the children up for extracurricular activities where they can be with other children in social situations.

 

[Patagone]

Sorry to hear about the problems. Are there no Monsessori or similar alternative schools near? These are better anyway in my view.

Next is to home school them, again I am not sure what that means for you in terms of time, and of course there are implications socially for the child potentially. However, I know a number of expats in Argentina and other countries who home schooled successfully and put their children in several extra activities (football, swimming) to make friends.

This was one of the many reasons my family opted for homeschool. The schools here have very crowded classes, and they can be very hard to get into. I know that not everyone can homeschool their kids, but if you might be able to do that, it's something to look into. I know that universities in the USA, for instance, have started recruiting homeschoolers because on the whole they receive a superior education (class size: 1 to 1). We have homeschooled my oldest daughter through first grade, and so far she is doing great. My sister-in-law took care of her the other day, and she was surprised at the quantity of things my daughter knows.

As far as the social aspect, it's easy to get your kids involved in something social here at a club. Where we live, the neighborhood offers free art classes and there are lots of free things for children. My daughter participates in swim lessons and an orchestra (is learning the violin at age 7). Since homeschool does not take too many hours, it frees the children up for extracurricular activities where they can be with other children in social situations.

Not wanting to hijack the thread, but are your children Argentina nationals? What is the legal sistuation for homeschooling? I would love to home/worldschool mine, but thought going to school was mandatory? How di you do this legally?

Many thanks.

 

[syngirl]

I would post your same question on the Buenos Aires Mummy Group on Facebook (there are some dads in the group too!) -- Theres hundreds of parents in the group with kids in different schooling situations here and you'll probably get some useful answers (as well as some useless ones).

Are you in Ituzaingo? As previously stated that could change options quite a bit.

Are you interested in continuing to negotiate with the school? Or are you fed up and wanting to pull both kids out regardless?

You say the youngest is amongst the youngest in the class. At the school we are at they do allow the youngest ones to repeat a year at the inicial level if they do not yet feel they are ready to go forward. In my son's salita (Salita de 3) there is a boy and a girl who both started in Salita de 3 last year and are repeating the year -- the girl turned 4 in May and the boy turned 4 in August, so now they are amongst the oldest in the group (she is the oldest) and it seems to be working for them. My own turned 4 right after the cut-off date -- his birthday is the first week of July -- had he not been born 10 days past due, he would have been in salita de 4 this year. However he is also rather timid until he gets to know people, and I think he is better off being the oldest rather than the youngest. However the youngest in the group does have behavioural issues but as you say, there is a year of difference and whenever my son has problems with the boy I always remind him that he has to have patience because the younger one really is a lot younger.

Would you be open to negotiating this with your school or are you done with them and ready to move on?

A lot of parents loathe the idea of holding back their child, but being the oldest rather than the youngest can increase confidence, put them ahead of the game in terms of learning, as they get older they can often be the ones that excel in sports because they are just that much further along in their physical and mental development. A friend of mine in Canada held back his child in 1st grade and suddenly being the oldest seemed to bring out a confidence in him that he didn't have before. I know here there is so much emphasis on the social life beyond the class that it could be more difficult holding him back a year, but at the same time if it is just in inicial it's a option that's easier than if he were already in primary school.

Have you had a meeting with the school since this occurred or did they just notify you and that's that, or did they try to come up with any solutions. I don't quite understand why one child's status should affect the other, and yes it would be off-putting but maybe this is the way the larger schools operate. I hope you can come up with a resolution -- don't fret too much about the "everything is full" there usually is some juggling. And I wouldn't necessarily abandon the school, there is an awful lot of time between now and next March so a resolution could be met.

 

[nikad]

I was just told today that there is a new law that states that no child can be left without school. If the school has a problem, they have to provide you with an alternative place to send him. I will ask around about this new law that somebody mentioned to me today. I cannot say this is true or not, but it seems to include all private schools.

 

[citygirl]

Which private school (PM me if you would rather not say)? I only ask because I'm pretty close to Itzuzaingo and I just finished looking at a bunch of schools so I might be able to give you some thoughts.

IF you are out here - I assume you have a car. Is that correct? You can look at schools in Bella Vista (for example) - there are a bunch of pretty good private schools that aren't outrageously expensive.

The other option you might want to consider is public. It's not ideal I know and I don't know what your public schools are like. Around me - that was a complete non-starter but if I lived in an area with better options, I would have considered it and then done afternoon tutors in different subjects/sports/etc. I know several expat parents who have gone that route and are pretty happy about it.

 

[citygirl]

PS - That's really seriously bizarre about the older sibling being told s/he has to be removed. I've never heard of that. What reason did they give?

 

[Markgeezer]

Many thanks for all your posts and comments.

Last week we had two meetings with the directors of the Jardin and Primary schools and they were firm with their decision to not register our youngest son for Primary school. Citygirl... no... they suggested we'd probably take our eldest to another school because of this, but were not refusing the older child.

We called for a third meeting with the owner of the school which was this afternoon and the guy made a complete U-turn on what had been said before which was almost as surprising as the situation we found ourselves in last week. He and the other staff apologized to us, and the owner sounded authentic. There are of course some underlying issues with some of the staff, the way we were treated and their previous line of thought,

So we are relieved by the situation and will at least continue with primary school for both children. We already have a couple of interviews set up with other more distant schools and are on a "long" waiting for another school. The standard of secondary education, at least in this part of GBA, is worrying. I don't think we could ever go down the road of home schooling partly because of our lack of time from work.

Thanks once again for your concern.