Tips for newbies to Bs. As.

ElLatingo

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So I've been coming to Bs. As. for more than five years. My first visit was to meet my future in-laws, which means that I was more "aware" of how things worked here. I had locals show me the ropes, and told me to keep my eyes open for this and that. Of course, there were certain things that I learned on my own, and I'd like to share some of those things here for present and future newbies to Bs. As.

The impetus for this was the spate of recent postings along the lines of: "Hey, I'm new to Bs. As." or "I'm moving to Bs. As. soon; what should I know?". So I thought I'd put a list together of things I've learned over the years that might help the transition into life here.

Please note: this isn't a "Bs. As. Sucks" list. I'm not looking to pick a fight, nor cast aspersions. These are not criticisms; they're just things to be aware of and, oftentimes, spotlight differences in our cultures; differences that newbies might not know about and/or have difficulty getting used to. What's more, this isn't a comprehensive list. Please feel free to add to it.

WATCH FOR DOG BOMBS
These turd piles are found gracing the sidewalks throughout Bs. As. Even though the sidewalks are much cleaner than they were when I first starting coming here, there are turdlets everywhere. Some are the size of small houses and are hard to miss; others blend in with the shade. Keep your eyes open.

BE CAREFUL ON WET SIDEWALKS
If you like to wear flipflops (as I do) or sandals during the summer, be very careful. Many of the sidewalks here are made of marble, which becomes extremely slippery when wet. When this happens, you can — and most likely will — go flying.

SIDEWALK ETIQUETTE
Continuing the sidewalk thread, the concept of walking on the right isn't observed very much here. You'll probably notice that people will keep walking toward you and will only move at the very last minute...if they move at all.

TRASHY
Public spaces (sidewalks, streets, buses, etc.) are also giant garbage cans. People just toss stuff on the ground or floor.

RIGHT OF WAY
Those nicely painted white stripes in the street (otherwise known as crosswalks) do not apply to drivers. Legally, cars — or their drivers — are supposed to stop and let you cross. Good luck with that one.

RECYCLE THIS
If you're green and care about recycling, separate your paper and plastic as you would at home. Then throw it all away with the trash. That's because, sadly, recycling isn't common here. I've heard, though, that the cartaneros grab bottles, glass, etc. and bring it to recycling centers for cash. Hope that's true. (Can anyone confirm this?)

KEEP THE CHANGE
There's a simple rule when someone in a store asks you if you have change: lie. It's not as difficult these days as it used to be, but getting change (smaller bills and coins) is an everyday fight. Fortunately, with the introduction of the SUBE card, coins aren't as necessary (assuming you have a SUBE card), but it's certainly handy to have about 500 pounds worth of coins and smaller bills stored in your apartment for emergencies.

GET A RECEIPT — ALWAYS
Always ask for a bill in a store or restaurant, the latter being quite important. I've had a few occasions when a waiter simply made up the total, and when I asked for the bill, that totally magically shrank...and shrank further when I pressed for the bill. Also, establishments are required by law to provide you with the bill. So get one, and check it to make sure what you ordered is the only stuff listed.

QUE TRUCHO
Speaking of money, be sure to check the bills you get, especially if they're larger denominations (e.g. 100-peso bills). There's been a rash of fake bills making their way through the city (and possibly the country?). Tell-tale signs are faded colors, thicker-than-normal paper and the lack of the silver strip that you'll find on all 50- and 100-peso notes (on the left side of the bill, with the face of the honoree facing you). What's more, bills have watermarks on them (with the face of the stud gracing the front of the bill).

IT'S YOUR MONEY
Don't let cabbies keep the change they owe you. For example, if the total fare is 20.70, and you give the driver 21 pesos, you get back either 25 or 30 centavos†. If you want to let the driver keep the change (Argentines don't tip cabbies), that's your decision, not the driver's.
†Argentine cabbies deserve a lot of credit; it's the only place I've been where the drivers tip you. How's that? Well, using the example above, if the driver doesn't have 25-30 centavos to give as change, more often than not, you'll get back 50 centavos. The driver is actually giving you more change than you're owed. And for the record, the majority of cabbies I've met are very honest and enjoy a good charla intima.

TIPO TIME
Time is an abstract concept here. If you make plans with someone (local, that is) for 4:00, you can usually expect that person to arrive late, which is punctual by Bs. As. standards. Don't bother trying to shame the person; you'll only look like an idiot. If, however, you happen to find a punctual local, shower praise on said individual and get him/her drunk. Often.

PONELE
"Yes" means "Maybe." As I've heard quite often in business, until you have something signed and sealed, "Yes" doesn't mean "Yes." The same holds true here. "Yes," like time, is an abstract term. "Yes, let's get together," really means: "Chase me, bitch, I'm not making this easy for you." Don't get frustrated; be persistent, until you get bored...then drop 'em like a bad habit. But above all, don't take it personally. Some of the best friends I have here made me chase them; now I return the favor.

BUSTED
If you take the bus, it's sometimes (oftentimes) extremely difficult to find where the stops are. They're not always (oftentimes) labeled very clearly. In fact, you might see the label for the bus stop affixed to a pole that's leaning at an angle parallel to the street. If you're not sure where the stop is, just ask. People are very nice and helpful and usually they have a very good sense of where the stops actually are.

Continuing the bus theme, if you're waiting alone for a bus, and you see the bus coming, be sure to wave it down. Sometimes you REALLY have to wave (i.e. light off fireworks). I had a bus blow right past me (and it was in service), even though I was clearly flagging it down. I didn't take it personally; the same thing happened a few days later to a Porteño who tried to flag down a bus, only to watch it fly right by.
 
So the synopsis of your note is, Buenos Aires is pretty much low-level chaos on a city wide scale.
 
even though I was clearly flagging it down

This happens quite a lot, particularly on avenues like Santa Fe around Plaza Italia. No self-respecting bus driver is actually going to plan ahead, even if he knows the bus stop is less than a block away. If he finds himself 4 lanes from the kerbside and less than 50 metres from your frantically waving arm, then only if there is nothing on his inside 3 lanes is he going to stop. He might think about attempting it but as there is a 68, three 152s, 4 taxis looking for fares and a parked security van, let's face it, it ain't gonna happen, so he flies on by. There'll be another one just behind him anyway.
 
Davidglen77 said:
So the synopsis of your note is, Buenos Aires is pretty much low-level chaos on a city wide scale.

Nope, I wouldn't use "chaos" (nor did I use or imply that). As far as I understand the word (or one of its main definitions), chaos means "disorder and confusion."

Bs. As., like all large cities, has its idiosyncrasies. New York, where I lived for 15+ years, probably wrote the book on them. But in no way did I imply that Bs. As. is a city devoid of order or sanity. If that's the way that my posting came across, that wasn't my intention.
 
Here's my bus tip

NO SLEEPING.

You know how long it takes you to take the bus home at 5 am after a long night of drinking? Good, subtract 10 minutes and set an alarm. Trust me waking up in the middle of an unlit bus depot in avalleneda is only fun once. By the third time it just really sucks.
 
I have yet to understand the expat obsession about the dog poop here. Yes there is some of it on the sidewalks, but all you have to do it glance down occasionally to make sure that you've missed it. And most likely, you are already looking down trying not to sprain your ankle on the sidewalks here. In over 2 years here, I have not stepped in dog poop.

The buses make sense once you have used them a few times. Stops are usually two blocks apart and if you can't find it, you can always ask someone. The worse thing for me is when they hear my accent and refuse to let me off at my stop because I am the only one who wants to get down.
 
Entering the bus-subte
Try to enter before the passagers inside come out.

Holding the door for a stranger
Quite often looks at you saying nothing and just walking by. (How many times have I said "gracias" loudly with my typical accent).

Saying one thing and saying the right opposite in 5 seconds
It's magic
 
va2ba said:
The worse thing for me is when they hear my accent and refuse to let me off at my stop because I am the only one who wants to get down.

I don't quite understand what you mean here... are you saying that you've had bus drivers who ignore you hitting the buzzer or asking to be let off just because they know you're a foreigner?? I've always found the opposite to be true... bus drivers have often gone out of their way to make sure I make it to the right stop.
 
I've seen this often... too often:
Bus is packed, you're sitting (or standing) near a window on the bus yacking away on your cell phone, be it a cheap 90's basic model or brand-spanking-new-iPhone; a fella on the street jumps up and grabs your phone then darts around the corner... you have zero chance of recovering it.

The salt in the wound is when the thieving little rat starts calling your contacts telling them that you were in a serious accident/are a hostage and someone will be by to [insert wily plan to gain access to your home/con contact into giving up some cash].

For your own safety and the safety of your contacts... delete old SMS messages and sensitive info that would tip someone off re: addresses or relationship to you.

Don't be so oblivious to your surroundings
. Walking and talking on a cell here can be dangerous. If you are so involved in a conversation that you don't notice that a parked car has 2 guys in the front, 1 in the back, and another guy on the sidewalk. That's a set-up for a express-kidnapping.
As you go strolling by, the guy in back swings the car door open, the guy on the sidewalk forces you in and jumps in after you. You're going for a ride to the nearest bank, and about to be stripped of any valuables on your person.
And for Gods sake, don't EVER have your home keys and home address in the same place at the same time... even if there is somebody home at all times, this is a home invasion waiting to happen.
 
va2ba said:
I have yet to understand the expat obsession about the dog poop here. Yes there is some of it on the sidewalks, but all you have to do it glance down occasionally to make sure that you've missed it. And most likely, you are already looking down trying not to sprain your ankle on the sidewalks here. In over 2 years here, I have not stepped in dog poop.

The buses make sense once you have used them a few times. Stops are usually two blocks apart and if you can't find it, you can always ask someone. The worse thing for me is when they hear my accent and refuse to let me off at my stop because I am the only one who wants to get down.

I got some neighbors down the street with 3 massive Grate Danes, 2 equally huge rottweilers (that seemed to be bred with a hippo) and a bunch of growing puppies... if the poop don't get ya', the reek will!!!
I see the tiny little owner walking her monsters (ahem...without a shovel......or a backhoe) around to the next block laaaate at night so nobody will know it was her dogs that done it!:rolleyes:

2 years huh??? You lead a charmed life my friend!
 
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