Why expats doesnt like get in love or get an argie partner?

[luismarcos]

maybe let's extend the scope a little bit (dont want to highjack the thread): do you find it hard to make Argentine friends? maybe it is me, but i dont find it easy... i have lived here since 1994 and my first few years were really tough...my friends are usually from the provinces who are also "outsiders" to often snobbish porteno culture

the funny thing is that if you ask Argentines (who I hope join in the discussion) they will tell you that Americans/Brits are hard to get to know and when they go abroad they find the locals very cold

maybe it has a lot to do with expectations....i would be curious to see what people think

 

[Caz]

To me this is a strange one. My girlfriend is a local and through her and her daughter I have made many local friends. I could not see myself dating another expatriate myself actually and I do not think my experience of Argentina would be quite the same if I was with an 'expat'. Yes, there will always be cultural differences. I speak very little Castilliano and most of our communication is in English. However, with time, I will get to know the language. The thing I like is the locals (to me) are very accepting and open and that is different to the way many of us who are ethnically European tend to be. I know a lot of Norwegians and Latvians but I also have friends from many other European countries and while we are not all as bad as the Swiss (even most of my German friends consider the Swiss to be ''even colder'') I think it is a cultural ''artefact' at work here. Well, this is my theory anyway. I have not been here very long but I do believe that the people here are quite open but perhaps if you know how to approach them ?

 

[Caz]

Ah, here is the one point I forgot to make. It is a theory really. If both people speak English as a second language THAT might also have a lot to do with it. In some way I believe this is a bit of an equalizer. It is the idea that, ''we both meet in the middle because you do not know my mother tongue and I do not know your mother tongue''. This is not something I can really prove as I have said - it is more of a theory. But, perhaps I have hit on something here ?

 

[katti]

I know several Argentines that are married to "foreigners". But they are all foreign women married to an Argentine man and they all met abroud....

So love is possible, but this is not an answer on the expat-question...

 

[Liam3494]

As another ex-pat, this time Irish, with an Argentine Partner, I think the OP is wrong in his assumption about "us foreigners" and our relationships with Argentines. Many of the ex-pats I know that live here are married to, or in long-term relationships with, locals. Those that are not may have come here with their partners from wherever their homes were, maybe for business, maybe for pleasure and stayed.

Expanding to the sub text regarding interaction between locals and ex-pats, I have many argentine friends, and a good mix of local and ex-pat common friends. Maybe being older, and settled with a local, it is easier to make friends and be trusted by others - And maybe every individual is different in the way they approach their stay in any country other than the place of their birth/upbringing, and how they make friends.

Personally I find it easy to talk to people, and love to do so (as my dear lady says all the time - "too much!"), despite my limited Spanish (improving weekly), and love to make new friends from everywhere - It's who I am.

 

[nikad]

Many Argentine do not look for a relationship with expats because they believe they are here for the short term ( in most cases they are ). That being said, I have been married to an expat for 8 yrs and I´m Argentine.

 

[syngirl]

The expats that have been here for a long time (5+ years) are almost always with a local. Maybe the ones you've met are only here for very short times 3mos or so, and involved in a bubble where they really only hang out with people from the courses they are taking etc.

Most of my friends here are like me -- foreigners who have been here for a long time and are permanently installed, and are in a pareja with a local (or vice versa, locals whose pareja is a foreigner).

It is true though, a lot of expats I know manage to live for years in a bubble of english -- they find all of their services in english only -- and suddenly they've been here for years and barely speak any spanish. Usually then it is their own embarrassment about their lack of language skills that causes them to cut themselves off -- it's an ego thing, sometimes we have to get over our own egos and embarrassments about our language skills and just speak and who cares if you sound like an idiot, at least you're making the effort. (The same can be said of Argentines who know english but are too embarrassed to use it for fear of sounding silly -- get over it and maybe there will be more involucration from both sides )

 

[Quinn]

I think the initial question might be more of a cultural interpretation.

Coming from the United States and living in big cities there over my life, I've been part of a culture where people casually date for many years and primarily look to "settle down" at a later age like late 30's early 40's. Note that this is very different than the majority of the US where you still see people marry their high school sweetheart, marry a college girlfirend, etc. The culture I've seen in Argentina tends to fall more in line with that culture. Many of the males I know here get into very serious relationships with women very fast. And others get married at an earlier age. I'm not saying I wouldn't settle down if I met the right person, but being in my early 30's, it's not something I would ever set out for...which is what I see in many locals here. So I guess I fall into the bucket the initial poster described...because I'm content relaxing, having fun, keeping casual, and after a year or so in a monogamous relationship, consider the future.

 

[starlucia]

2 years ago, I came to Buenos Aires for a 6-week vacation, met a local, and we've been together ever since. In fact, my relationship is the ONLY reason I'm in Buenos Aires for the foreseeable future (and my partner actually asked me that early on - "if we continue, would you be willing to live here? Because you know I can't move to the States." She was skeptical because all of the foreigners she'd dated eventually went home, and either couldn't or wouldn't uproot their lives in order to move to Argentina.)

 

[glasgowjohn]

I got involucrated a few years back and I still am very happily involucrated with the best portena in Buenos Aires