My family is visiting Northern Honshu and Tokyo now, and they have survived, they are going to sleep outside tonight in a car. But we don't know about relatives who live in Sendai City.
Yes, the buildings and social organization of Japan have changed so much over the last 50 years to withstand and respond to earthquakes. Being up in a Tokyo high rise that's swaying and creaking like crazy in even a small quake is still just terrifying. After living 7 years in Japan, I felt relatively safe there.
However, I spent the last many years in the SF Bay Area, and experienced the 1989, 7.1 Loma Prieta Quake. It's hard to imagine what happens for real because it is so far outside everyday experience. In 1989 in our company' R&D labs were in a brand-new earthquake-proof building, 50 miles from the epicenter of the Loma Prieta 7.1. The windows on one side of the building imploded showering everyone with glass, the sprinklers came on pouring water over everything, the power went out, so the chemical fumes that were being removed by the shut-down exhaust fans started to fill the building. During the rolling of the building people crawled out on hands and knees through the water and glass and fumes. The building was permanently damaged - the frame was somehow twisted.
The 7.1 caused the building codes and response plans in California to be changed to handle that - some minimal shear bracing and foundation bolts were added to buildings and bridges reinforced but not redesigned or rebuilt. There is overwhelming complacency. There will be an 8 plus on the San Andreas fault. We just don't know when.