Once you get married, you can apply for citizenship the same day. The requirement to be in Argentina for 2 years is waived if you're married to an Argentine. You don't necessarily need to have regular income, either you or your spouse should have it, if your spouse is financially supporting you, she'll have a go to the juzgado with you and sign a statement saying just that. Other requirements that are not waived: You should be at least 18 years old, you should have either your passport, DNI or birth certificate, you should be able to get a police certificate or in your case I think its the FBI report showing that you have not committed any crimes. Some requirements depending on which judge you get are: You should be able to understand and speak Spanish, etc.
If you get permanent residency based on marriage, as far as I understand it, it is revoked if you get divorced because its issued based on ley 616/10 Art 22 A which states "ARTICULO 22.- El extranjero que solicite su residencia permanente deberá acreditar:
a) Ser cónyuge, progenitor o hijo de argentino nativo, naturalizado o por opción; teniendo en cuenta principios de unidad, sostén y con el alcance del derecho de reunificación familiar establecido en la legislación pertinente y en el artículo 10 de la presente Reglamentación."
Other than that, I agree with Serafina, you do sound nuts. If you think you hate the US government and are looking for an escape from all that craziness here then you're in for a really wild ride here in good ole Argentina. But hey, your life. If you want to jump off a cliff go right ahead, I just hope the information I provided above helps you jump without delay.