Expats not happy, why stay?

[HDM]

It is probably a bit silly to get involved in this kind of tit for tat nonsense, my last place is better than your last place, and the flagrant examples of culture shock. so I will just restate the obvious. If San Diego is so lovely, then why the hell did you leave it? (This from someone who lived in Coronado for 10 years -- 1982 to 1991.) If Buenos Aires isn't what you want to make it into, then just shut up and go home. This carping and moaning is not in the least becoming. For anyone. What is it about expats? They seem to be going from place to place for very little reason other than to complain to other expats about how wonderful "home" was. Christ! Stay home.

 

[Rad]

Funny, when I read sites of Czech/Slovak expats in Canada and USA, the complaints are very similar to the complaints here.
They are "friendly" enough, but true friendship is another matter. Haha, are you talking about Argentines or about Americans?
The same about architecture - the complaint is often that american cities are dirty and ugly. Food - hamburger culture Just stating how many others see (North) America.
Maybe it's the cultural differences and unwillingness to overcome them.

 

[steveinbsas]

I love the culture here, at least the part with which I interact.

 

[Rad]

I love Argentine food. How can anyone not like it?

 

[steveinbsas]

Hey Italia...
I think that it is hard to walk the line between realistic criticism and bitching. I too would like to see things change, because I think Buenos Aires has the potential to be a great place to live. I have lived in some great places and could register honest complaints about any of them.

For me, the reason I post in response to questions like this is that people need to understand the reality of living in a place like this. It is a big city, bigger than many have lived in before. It is noisy, dirty and expensive. I lived in San Diego on about the same money as I pay to live here. It was quieter, cleaner, prettier (to me) and more polite. There were things I didn't like, but it was a great place to live.

I have had Argentines ask me why I would leave such a place to come here. One said, this place is not a "serious" place, why would you leave a "serious" city like San Diego for this place? My reasons for being here will carry me through hard times. Unlike Stevo I am not retired and not rich and therefor not able to just go to bars and restaurants and meet people at their best.

I have to work, to create an income and have remodeled a home and dealt with much of the difficulty that Argentines deal with. It is often hard and exhausting and saying so is a part of what I give back to other people, because some people helped me.

My own experience, being here with a partner, has been that women alone have it the hardest. They don't understand the culture of dating here and don't, unless they are quite wealthy, have a way to connect with the caliber of men they expect. Interestingly the women who come for the Tango culture are the most disappointed. They were rock stars at home, dancing and having fun, and come here to find that there is a social hiearchy that will require years of learning and climbing just to get to where it is even fun. It is a lonely life because Argentine women their own age are standoffish. I don't presume to know why, but unless you have an "in" it can be hard to make friends with Argie women. They are "friendly" enough, but true friendship is another matter.

Jimmy and I are happy here, but that is because we are happy people. We aren't happy because we're here. We're just happy with ourselves, which would be true anywhere. We look for the joy. I don't see my role on this site that way though. There are plenty of people who will talk Buenos Aires up, I let them take that role and I tell the other side.

If I had to name the things that bother me most, and this is very personal, it is the dirt, on the streets and in the air. I long for fresh air and nature and clean, pretty streets. Even in a bustling cosmopolitan area, in San Diego I was never more than 10 minutes walk from a quiet beautiful place and never more than 30 minutes from the ocean. I miss that.

I also find the rudeness, and saying people in other big cities are rude doesn't change this for me, very hard to get over. I smile and say excuse me politely and don't join in pushing and shoving and continue to make eye contact and to explain politely that I would appreciate it if they wouldn't walk in to me.

The food is tough. I am used to lots of good, fresh, wholesome food in the grocery stores and to being able to spit in any direction and find a great restaurant. I find the food here unappetizing for the most part and I don't like it.

Finally, the lack of easy access to nice things. Being from the states that is something I have really struggled with here. The nicest things from the nicest stores are not nearly the quality we were used to at home and they are costly.

These are the things that are hard and if someone who is considering moving here can live with these things and not be bothered by them then they may be happy here.

I do look forward to going home someday, and in the meanwhile will continue to speak honestly about things in the way I best know how, peacefully. It's funny, my Argentine friends are never insulted by my opinions. Only people like Steve....

Peace...

Your last four words (before peace) made this personal.

That was not peaceful.

I'm sorry that Argentina did not live up to your fantasies.

Apparently you didn't spend enough time researching life here.

 

[soulskier]

Its heating up now.

 

[HotYogaTeacher]

I have a friend on FB, I don't actually know her, we became friends because she is from here. In one of our conversations she told me that she hoped I was enjoying this and that in her home city and she gave me a list of things she missed.

One of them was, and I quote, "The food! Oh! How I miss the food!"
That is exactly what I say when people talk about the United States.

I find it sociologically fascinating that people who can be so tolerant of lifestyle and cultural shifts, and who consider themselves "open minded" and "adaptable" can simultaneously be so judgmental of other people's opinions or ways of expressing them.

I am very clear that Argentine food is not wrong or evil. It is just not good to me. I don't like sun dried tomatoes. I know some people do. That's OK with me. I would not choose to live in a place on a permanent basis where sun dried tomatoes were a staple of the diet and almost all dishes had them. There would be people who wouldn't understand that, but then perhaps those people don't like avocados, which I would never want to live without, or olives, which I adore, or sushi, which I miss so very much....

Peace...

 

[mochilera]

Criticism is good, but people like to complain and specially to compare everything with the place they are coming from and this is a huge mistake. I like to see the good and the bad of a culture and when you come from abroad you have a different perspective of a country than a local, but this is how people is, all over the world, they complain because they are not happy with themselves. It's important to have critical position, but you know, there is a thin line between both, but we are human, so unconsciously you start to miss home and your loved ones and get lost on the complaining.

I love Argentina and Buenos Aires of course, I lived in many countries and I already complained about them, then I realized that you can complain everywhere and I decided to open my mind, to accept each defects and being happy. I've been an expat for 7 years, and of course Argentina is not perfect, but is a wonderful country, people are cute, I find them funny actually, of course some cheated on me, and migrations and the banks and the taxes, and the economy and the stupid representatives of the call center, all what you want to say, so what! each country with its faults, but you have to decide if you are able to accept that faults or not, like the people, you build relationships knowing people has defects, but you decide which defects you are able to stand.

I found my own advantages of living here, and It seems there were stronger than the disadvantages, the paradise is not in this life ;-)

 

[perry]

Great post Mochillera

I find that many expats try to impose their will on a place and get disappointed when it is not the same as their home country. Yes there are negatives here and Im sure that all of us miss some foods from home or find dealing in business here alien to our culture.

Acceptance is a word that I use and try to live by . I do not perceive Buenos Aires to be a third world city just because it is not as developed as Sydney, Tokyo or Vancouver. The first world gleam of clean streets and unlimited consumerism does not translate into a more happy people . People in these countries may smile more on the streets but do not be fooled that they are internally happy as suicide rates in all these cities are much higher than Buenos Aires.
Yes Porteños can be melancholic, rude, angry and many emotions but to me this is a positive as people here are not robotic in their daily lives. They quietly accept the changes around them and just live with them . I have seen this behaviour many times here in crisises that would have crushed many a country but the argentines always pulled through .

 

[jp]

There's a million things to love about life in Buenos Aires.

Living abroad is just not for everyone.