Migrants: Leave Home In Search Of Future; Lose The Past

[Vagrant Violet]

"Migration is a good thing, so long as it is voluntary. I believe in the free movement of people. But that’s not to say it doesn’t have a price. I have choices that most of the world’s migrants don’t have. I can go back. And I’m happy where I am" ...

I recently came across this article in TheGuardian.com. It struck a chord with me, as it deals with the topic of migration, and in a nutshell, concludes that even in the best of circumstances, migration equates to loss on at least some level (I know, newsflash, right?!?). In my case, I know that although leaving my home country has meant experiencing great opportunties that I would never have had if I had stayed in the U.S.A., I can't help but feel an odd form of nostalgia or homesickness for an old home (that may be never was). *Shrugs* I guess it comes with the territory.



Curious what ya'll think, here it is:

"As Migrants, We Leave Home In Search of a Future, But We Lose the Past":
http://www.theguardi...MP=share_btn_fb

 

[GS_Dirtboy]

Yep. I don't fit in there anymore. Don't fit in 100% here either.

 

[fifs2]

[font="Arial""]Thanks for this Violet. There is something inherently arrogant about us life long expats...similar to the "terminal uniqueness" of addicts aka Elizabeth Wurtzel. I think we who have always yearned to live abroad can definitely lose out if we don't make the time and effort to invest in our important relationships. Social media helps but it is a poor substitute for the actual time and physical presence that all true relationships require. Some years ago on a trip home to Ireland I had a horrible moment of fast forwarding to the future and my empty grave and no one to grieve....It was a stupid fleeting moment of nostalgia and self pity but it was enough to make me actively invest more time in serious friendships in many countries, taking the time to call and visit and keep alive the spark that originally united us. [/font]

 

[Girino]

I am at the point where I have to visit home and I don't want to because on an emotional level I am really crying over what I had there for a few months. The point is that it is no longer there and maybe never was in the first place.

And I can't stand the people I left there, anyway.
Too distant from what I have always felt like and now also from what I choose to do and how I chose to live.
But also I have no friend here after a year, and I hang on the internet way too much.

Plus living in a foreign speaking country means that even the most trivial things are never effortless.

 

[Ceviche]

But also I have no friend here after a year,

Making friends needs clear, innocent and open heart.

 

[citygirl]

Making friends needs clear, innocent and open heart.

I don't even know what that means. Making friends here is hard. Esp as a woman I think. Your best bet are either other expats (but they generally leave) or the wives/gfs of your husbands family/friends. If you have kids, you'll probably find you become friends with other moms.

I've been here 7 years and I can count the number of true friends that I've made here on 1 hand. And this is coming from an extravert with a lot of friends from other parts of my life.

As for the rest, totally true. I call is cultural dislocation. You no longer belong in your birth country but you most probably will never fully belong here either. It's a weird thing.

 

[Pensador]

I don't even know what that means. Making friends here is hard. Esp as a woman I think. Your best bet are either other expats (but they generally leave) or the wives/gfs of your husbands family/friends. If you have kids, you'll probably find you become friends with other moms.

I've been here 7 years and I can count the number of true friends that I've made here on 1 hand. And this is coming from an extravert with a lot of friends from other parts of my life.

As for the rest, totally true. I call is cultural dislocation. You no longer belong in your birth country but you most probably will never fully belong here either. It's a weird thing.

Hmmm that is interesting I had and have so many friends in Argentina I could not keep with the social events. But most of them were from the Provinces I lived in while there. Corrientes and Missiones especially. Honestly great people in the Provinces and rural areas in BA it is a different story.

 

[Mano Negra]

Strangely, I am going to the birthday party of my oldest friend tonight, known him since I was 16 in London and he has moved here too. And my other closest friend from London as well. And my business partner has an apartment here. When I went back to London I didn't know anyone anymore! Nothing left to miss!!!