Searching For The Perfect Garbage Bag In Ba

MorganF

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After years in Buenos Aires, I've become disillusioned with every garbage bag I've found. I've been wanting to find just the perfect one for me, and the market here is so competitive, and it's so hard to find just the right one. In fact, as a traditional guy, I've gone out of my way to try to find the garbage bags just like those in my ancestral homeland. These modern garbage bags in BA just aren't like the old-fashioned ones in the Old Country.

But each time I've found a garbage bag that I think I would hit it off perfectly with, that I would think would fit with me so perfectly -- something would go wrong. With so many garbage bags in the sea, it is hard to find just the right one for you!

Usually, in this country, garbage bags suffer from four problems. They're just crazy, really histerica!!!! In four specific ways:

FIRST -- they just break so easily. Not like the ones back home! The garbage bags back home, you can scrape them and scream at them and bend them and take your baseball bat and hit them -- and they'll just never break. They don't even complain it when you hurt them!!!!! Nor do they tear up. They will handle any garbage you throw at them.

But the garbage bags here just aren't like that. They're so millennial, so sensitive and emotional. You put in a half-kilo of garbage, pick her up.... and bam, she breaks down, crying, hysterically. They just don't make them strong here. And I like my garbage bags so strong, that they can handle all my shit. I love garbage bags that I can pick up, hold up on top of me, and then throw around a little bit.

SECOND -- there are just different expectations for how one should smell here, as compared to my home country. Back home, the garbage bags include odorless treatments so, you just can't smell what's inside them. But here..... oh wow! How often do Porten~os shower??? With just one day's leftovers and even if you cover it up completely, the whole house stinks!!!!

It's incredible that here, it's perfectly acceptable to just smell disgusting. You know, they say that France is similar, with no one showering either!

THIRD -- back home, the garbage bags usually let you tie a string around their necks. They usually include them. They just love it when you get up close and pull those strings tightly, oh so tightly. It make make it hard for them to breathe but trust me, it really turns them on.

But not so here -- here, most garbage bags don't even include the tightening strings!!! Sometimes they do, but even when they do... see point number one. You tighten the string around her neck too tightly and it'll snap and you'll kill her. So you need to be careful!

FOURTH -- there's a noticeable difference in how much they think they're worth, in the open market, where people go to pay to find just the right one. Here, you need to wine them and dine them, treat them first class, and maybe even get a bank loan for them - they think they're the fanciest in the world!! But back home, they just have reasonable price expectations. Here, I can usually buy (if memory serves correctly) something like 10 of them for 80 pesos, so that's about 50 US cents each; while a good ol' American box of garbage bags, with all the above, costs.... a box of 80 for $10 usd.... 12 US cents each.... so about 4x the price.

So... what is one to do........?

Well, here is what I did:

After meeting lots and lots, and keeping and open mind -- after all, maybe my expectations are too high? Maybe the garbage bags here aren't "inferior", but they're just "different" -- I found just the perfect garbage bags, just right for me, the one that I knew would capture my heart and my mind, that would soothe my desires, calm my spirit, and inspire me to greatness. Plus she helps me keep clean.

And you know what I did with her?

I stuffed her into my suitcase and brought her back to Buenos Aires!!!! She's cute, beautiful, and we get along amazingly. Don't judge her by name, though. Her name is "Hefty" and I know it doesn't sound beautiful, but she is.

morgan
 

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yeah as much as i'm a supporter of generic products sometimes you have to go with brand names just to be sure
 
Gostomper,

I'm glad you got the point of my message! I was worried that it wasn't clear, but I'm happy it made it through :)

morgan
 
Maybe you should send your thesis on garbage bags to The Institute of Sciences and I mean that in the nicest possible way.
 
Oh it would be such a waste if no one had anything else to say on this...
 
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Oh it would be such a waste if no one had anything else to say on this...

I am surprised that none of the women in the forum have (as of yet) had anything to say about this...especially the one's who don't think women should be compared to (even metaphorically) or treated like garbage bags (which implies being treated like garbage), as well as the Portenas who shower regularly and have high standards of feminine hygiene (high enough so you can't "smell what's inside them").

If and when they do have something to say, I hope they will let us kn\ow what they think about women being able to "handle" a man's shit, being thrown around a bit., or take a hit by a baseball bat as well as how much they are "turned on by having a string tied tightly around their necks to the point it make(s) it hard to breathe.

I realize the post was meant to be satirical, but it's extremely offensive and repulsive. I can only speak for myself, but I would be surprised if any women found it the least bit humorous.

Garbage bags in Argentina may be inferior to those in the "home country" but physical abuse against women is never something to joke about.
emo32.gif
 
Yeah huh? and also whoa! Not for a minute did I think that this was a satire on women. I thought it was a very inventive way to describe a subject that the OP encounters frequently which is crappy trash bags in Argentina!
 
WTF Steve? The post is a humorous story about garbage bags, not Porteña women. Or women at all. What is wrong with you?

If we want to play the "interpret someone's words in the most offensive way possible" game, I can play that game. This sounds like borderline - or way over the border - sexual harassment. "Kiss her long before you think it's appropriate!" --- really? Last I checked, that actually satisfies the definition of rape in many jurisdictions. The rest of that post is no better.

And there's plenty more, just as ugly. Your constant mockery of overweight women plus your sexism ("Why Argentine women are so angry!"), and your guides on how to take sexual advantage of women ("This post is about SCORING with an Argentine woman!"). If I didn't know better, I'd think you're a creepy, old predator. And btw - I actually don't know better. Just saying.

Let's call a truce:
- I cease and desist from going through your sordid history of inappropriate/angry/stupid posts (including your LONG silly duet with ajoknoblauch);
- You don't mix in to my love affairs with my garbage bags of choice, and more broadly, just leave me alone.

Who knows? might even reverse the trend of this forum, from having people waiting in dark corners with their knives to attack anyone who tries to have fun, to one where we would have fun, enjoyable conversations on lots of topics. Sounds better to me!

morgan
 
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