Where is home to an expat?

fifilafiloche said:
Thanks for your argentine point of view.

I digress with you when you claim it is IMPOSSIBLE to understand other cultures. Difficult, may be, depending on your personnality, but impossible certainly not.

She didn't say it was impossible, what she said was:
"I can certainly perceive your frustration towards those things from the Argentinian culture that appear to be impossible to understand, from your perspective."

So you both agree after all! ;) :) :D <------ look lots of smilies.
 
Hey Mini

thanks for clarifying. I agree with you... fifilafi and I were trying to say the same.
You see?
This is a living example of how useful it is to ask for/ offer clarification when things seem confusing...We should try to apply these kind of simple attitudes to cross-cultural encounters.

Thanks!
Naty
 
Very interesting thread... must be reading my mind.

Honestly, and as delicately as I can put this... I am here, and this is home, for now simply because this is where my wife wants to be. Frankly I've "only" been here for 90 days but I'm sort of in the same boat as HotYogaTeacher... I don't know if I will ever really fit in or feel really comfortable here.

Maybe things will improve once my spanish improves and I feel more independent. Right now for me, I feel a bit powerless to do certain things because of the language. BUT that can and will be overcome. Other differences I highly doubt I ever will and in some cases I would not care to.

I'm not a city person. Buenos Aires is sort of like New York City. They say that you either LOVE New York City or you HATE it. Well... I don't love it, and would never ever want to live there.

You know... fifilafiloche said something very interesting. He said that basically when in the US no one ever said thank you to him for opening a door for them. That really surprises me as none of my friends, family, even acquaintances would ever NOT say thank you for a kindness such as holding the door. That is just so strange to me.

But I have visited certain parts of the US that as a rule the people are much more rude and lack many manners that to me are just common decency. Just how I was raised I guess.

And this made me think... so far I have based all of my opinions of Argentina as a whole on Buenos Aires. Of course Argentina is a HUGE country and there are so many places for me/us to visit and see. I am fairly certain there will be other places here where I would feel much more comfortable.

I mean if NY City was all I knew of the US, I would absolutely hate the US.

Ok, now that I have pissed off all the native NYers out there, including many friends and relatives... sorry about that. But I moved out of the northeast back in 1978 for a reason, and have been much happier ever since.

So it's true, some places are awesome for some people, but to others it just doesn't fit right. Buenos Aires just doesn't work for me. But I look forward to learning more about the REST of Argentina, and seeing if there is an area that WOULD be a better fit for me.

In the meantime I stay focused on why I am here... my family.

Thank you for this thread.

Mark
 
I've been here over a decade and I am completely adjusted and used to the system but I don't think I'll ever REALLY consider it home. My accent forever brands me a foreigner. Sometimes I get treated like a tourist, merchants often try to cheat me. How can I feel 'at home' when I have to ask an Argentine friend to inquire about prices or negotiate the price of an expensive item? Part of the problem is that BA is not really an international city like New York or London. Until a few years ago there was very little tourism and locals were not at all used to foreigners. Even now with so many expats BA feels like a very big town more than a cosmopolitan city. I just came back from London. The feeling when you get off the plane at Heathrow is so different from arriving at Ezeiza. At Heathrow you really feel that you are in a major international city. You see all kinds of people, from everywhere. People are not surprised at this as they are here. As I said, I am used to the system in Argentina and know how it works and I function well in it. It's just provincial for such a huge city and that tends to make foreigners feel that they can't really assimilate.
 
Sergio, I am Argentine and have been living for 10 years in Germany. Of course I am also easily identified as a foreigner when I say something. Eventhough I speak german fluently, some people at touristy spots will talk to me in English when they notice my accent...and I don't think I will ever be able to get rid of it!
In spite of that I think this is home at the moment for me. Germany is no paradise: too many rules, the beef is way too expensive and doens't taste good, you are not allowed to grill whenever you want, everyone smokes (yes, way more than in Argentina), women look at you as if you were a macho when you hold a door, you need to call your friends a month ago before visiting them, etc. This is normal and one should learn to live with the things one is not used to (of course if one plans to live long in the country).
It's funny your comment about BA being provincial! I think the same thing about Berlin, Paris, Rom or London whenever I visit them...they seem 'too quiet' for me! Surely it has also to do with the things one is used too (like that disgusting NY-pizza everyone on this forum is o fond of :p )
 
Great thread! I like many others here have lived and traveled wide and far. The concept of "home" is an elusive one for me as I consider myself a "citizen of the world" although I principally live in Miami now but travel constantly including staying for longer periods in Buenos Aires. But admittedly, in my heart I am "North American" just because I tend to lean towards productivity, some sense of order, fragmented relationships, practicality, etc. Argentina has a very vibrant culture (Buenos Aires) but it is an evolving democracy that is young. I mean the country had 30,000 people "disappear" due to a Dirty War not even 30 years ago and a severe economic crisis less than a decade ago. What would one expect? London, Paris, Berlin, etc? I don't think so. In two or three generations, we might see Buenos Aires more "on par" with our First World standards and with a more international flair, but it will take some time.....possibly a long time if ever.
I find Buenos Aires especially full of so many contradictions. For example, lovely architechture along side broken sidewalks and filthy streets; hurried traffic of noise only to arrive at the destination and waste lots of time, etc. The country has great potential but in the end it may all be "wasted" due to what appears to be an inherent fatalism and unconscious desire to "jinx" itself. Ah, this is what makes it so appealing and/or disgusting.. Thus, the continuous ironies. But I will likely never feel "home" here or possibly anywhere else. I have just seen too much and tend to avoid complete immersion in cultures heavily ethnocentric.
In the modern age, the concept of "home" for me is just a laptop/internet, cultural event, or good cup of coffee away. If I can find those things along with a good conversation and a local friend or two, then I am usually just fine. It takes some work but living in a big modern city is essentially an alienating experience. The cultural values of the United States with its enormous propensity towards upward mobility makes for an even more isolating experience which I find a bit less intrusive in Argentina..
 
The minute I step out of the cab from Ezeiza and take my keys out, I am "home". I feel totally at home in my house in BsAs, but when I fly back to the US, I am at home here as well.

It is possible to like both chocolate AND vanilla, you know.
 
People have different impressions and its due to what you transmitt. I read by a few expats that they found Argentinians indirect and did not say yes or no . I believe that is not the case and is a misunderstanding due to the fluidity of time that people give others here. In the USA its all rush rush rush so quick questions and answers must be given creating more businesslike transactions . In Argentina the emotional is more at play creating longer periods of chatting and more interplay of emotions.

When Argentinians want to be direct they do it better than most . Ask them a political or religious view or even other taboo subjects and they will answer you and sometimes even shock you .
I find many other nationalities much more hypocritical than people in Buenos Aires who live their lives with a broader display of emotion than many western societies .
 
Here I wake up every day happy, with the sun shining in my face. I am excited to start my day, cant wait to go out for cheap yummy food, know I can just call a friend last minute and pop round, know no bus journey will ever be dull and just in case, I have the Daily Mail to read on line to remind me how crazy people are back in the UK. Argentina is my home because it gives me everything I ever wanted and some surprises attached.
 
Good article and some good points expressed. For me, my home is wherever I am. I´m a bit of a gypsy though.
 
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