Who is Stayin Alive?

[cbbsas]

Man, Fiscal, that's rough. Sorry to hear it.

In your situation, she may have the "power" by weaponizing custody of your kid, but you have more power, namely, the threat that you can simply vanish and leave her in a permanent economic pit without your income and as a single mother.

To give her a taste of this, you can switch Airbnbs in Lima so she can't show up on your doorstep, ignore all her calls, and spend a week or two without her stressing you. The food is wonderful there, get delivery of all the great stuff that she - as an Argentine - categorically refused to eat. Make pisco cocktails - god knows there's an infinite variety of options. If she has access to a joint bank account, let her keep it (but obviously stop depositing any money in it, beyond the absolute minimum that she needs for support).

Then, after that week or two, you restore contact with a phone call. If she immediately goes ballistic on you during that first call, hang up and cut off contact for another three days. Then try again. Rinse and repeat until she comes to understand - without your ever having mentioned it explicitly - that you could simply dump her and the kid, leaving them without any money or support (aside from your flat, I suppose). Once it sinks in, this will 100% put the fear of god into her, as it would any good funds-seeking Argentine woman, no matter how volatile. She might think you're a cruel sociopath and run you down to anyone that'll listen, but it's a great position from which to bargain.

That'll set it up so that future negotiations are more manageable, and tilted in some basic way in your favor. This basic backstop negotiating position of "if you make this too hard on me, if things don't shake out fairly, if you play the judge against me, whatever it is, then I will just walk away from all of this then you get nothing" should always hang there - without your ever explicitly saying it, especially around witnesses. Even if it's not true, this is your leverage in negotiations, your "power."

This is satire right

 

[gracielle]

This is satire right

Ditto...

 

[TheDonald]

Man, Fiscal, that's rough. Sorry to hear it.

In your situation, she may have the "power" by weaponizing custody of your kid, but you have more power, namely, the threat that you can simply vanish and leave her in a permanent economic pit without your income and as a single mother.

To give her a taste of this, you can switch Airbnbs in Lima so she can't show up on your doorstep, ignore all her calls, and spend a week or two without her stressing you. The food is wonderful there, get delivery of all the great stuff that she - as an Argentine - categorically refused to eat. Make pisco cocktails - god knows there's an infinite variety of options. If she has access to a joint bank account, let her keep it (but obviously stop depositing any money in it, beyond the absolute minimum that she needs for support).

Then, after that week or two, you restore contact with a phone call. If she immediately goes ballistic on you during that first call, hang up and cut off contact for another three days. Then try again. Rinse and repeat until she comes to understand - without your ever having mentioned it explicitly - that you could simply dump her and the kid, leaving them without any money or support (aside from your flat, I suppose). Once it sinks in, this will 100% put the fear of god into her, as it would any good funds-seeking Argentine woman, no matter how volatile. She might think you're a cruel sociopath and run you down to anyone that'll listen, but it's a great position from which to bargain.

That'll set it up so that future negotiations are more manageable, and tilted in some basic way in your favor. This basic backstop negotiating position of "if you make this too hard on me, if things don't shake out fairly, if you play the judge against me, whatever it is, then I will just walk away from all of this then you get nothing" should always hang there - without your ever explicitly saying it, especially around witnesses. Even if it's not true, this is your leverage in negotiations, your "power."

It doesn't sound pretty. And it isn't. But at this point, the relationship is a negotiation. As we are all learning by watching Argentina and creditors, negotiations are swayed by leverage. Given the economic imbalance, the poster on this thread has leverage. If that leverage is used rationally, judiciously and compassionately, a better life for the child will result.

What's a better result for the child? Acute pain now followed by long term stability? Or minimal pain now followed by long term instability?

 

[Pierre Smith]

No! Fight fire with fire. Gain the upper hand to maximize negotiating position. Compare to acquiring a position in a company at the best price, or purchasing from a given company - same basic logic, namely, to make it clear to the other side that walking away is a less desired but possible outcome, should a satisfactory agreement not be in the offing.

And assuming he does it correctly, every step could be defended before a judge if necessary.

Judge: "Why did you cut her off like that?"
Fiscal: "I was hurt and upset, I didn't feel I could speak with her and control my feelings. And I ensured she had the money she needed."

Judge: "Did you say you'd leave her with nothing"
Fiscal: "Never! Not one time. She can't point to a single instance. I wouldn't do that!"

Meanwhile, Fiscal is taking trips our of country more for work (or hinting in passing that he is), he casually mentions he has an exciting opportunity in Europe, etc. dropping little piece of information that could be denied or explained away, but that fill out the maximalist position (vanishing) to insure that she understands that she's going to be making some big concessions, or she gets nothing.

And I'll add that that this is a unique feature of a transnational relationship. You could never pull this off in the US. But in this case, he could easily stay one step ahead of any domestication in the US of an Argentine asset seizure/salary garnishment but moving states, changing jobs, changing banks, etc. It's a scoundrel's way out, and I'm not suggesting that Fiscal would ever take it, or that he should - but he should make every pretense that he would!! It's the maximalist negotiating position, and it's the best move he has against her in this situation, particularly since Fiscal does not have residence or citizenship in Argentina, is not married to the mother, works remotely (ie. isn't retired with more easily traced assets and retirement income), and she left him rather than the reverse.

 

[EL_TIGRE_de_Tigre]

FISCAL,

You are getting an awful lot of advice (I am providing it as well!) from different points of view.

Act in haste ... repent in leisure ... as the saying goes.

You can avoid that by simply being a mature, gentlemen ... who TAKES THE HIGH ROAD.

A parent is wrong to create bias in the mind of a child against the other parent. I think everyone on this board would agree with that. Take her threatening behavior as a sign that this is the kind of person you do not need in your life. Her tactics are unjustified in any instance. They only serve to prove what you are dealing with. And to a sad note, if the child is to be brought up by her, in her world with her values ... he hasn't much chance to do well in his relationships with others when he grows into a man for he will have been taught the wrong way.

Be a man, do what is right, fair and just. Set your personal feelings aside and focus on the well being / welfare of the son you helped bring into this world. He deserves that from his dad. But as far as what the future holds for the child and it's mother??? I think the ship sinks in the end.

You can't win this one, nor should you try.

 

[jantango]

Hilarious video series to help survive the quarantine.

 

[Silvie]

To disinfect veggies, keep a pan with a water-Clorox mixture and dip them into it. Rinse after ten minutes.

To wash veggies, only use the "lavandina" that has a small graphic and says that is safe for disinfecting water, there are several kinds and not all of them are safe for that.

 

[jantango]

A teaspoon of baking soda diluted in a few liters of water is the method I use to wash fruits and vegies, then rinse in filtered water. Other options are using white vinegar (vinagre alcohol) or salt.

 

[db887]

Do you ever regret not settling down?

Biggest regret would be putting yourself in jurisdiction of an Argentinian judge.

 

[lunar]

To wash veggies, only use the "lavandina" that has a small graphic and says that is safe for disinfecting water, there are several kinds and not all of them are safe for that.

Bleach is not meant to be used to clean any foods or food products. The ingestion of any amount of bleach can be a major health hazard

You don't have to spray your groceries with bleach to prevent the coronavirus. Here's what experts recommend.

Experts say washing produce or containers with warm water is enough to kill coronavirus. You don't need to use bleach, which can actually be dangerous

www.insider.com