Women Who've Made A Home Here For Love

[Vagrant Violet]

Hi, Thuraya,

In regards to your question, I work full time in a school, but the school is on vacation until the end of this month.

I typically go home to Ohio about once a year, or at least I did before I had my son. But international travel is expensive and is only going to become more expensive it seems

For now I am going to postpone my annual trip home an additional 6 months, as I don't feel my son will be ready for an international and domestic flight both ways at such a young age. On the up side, my mom came to Argentina for the first time to help me shortly after my son's birth to bond and help me get started on the right foot with motherhood. Given the right circumstances, having close family visit you here might be an option, who knows?

Regarding your question, "One way of "solving" the custody issue might be making sure my kids get born in the US, right?" from what I understand, the answer is no. Once you return back to Argentina, in order for either of you to travel with your future kid(s), you would require written consent via an escribano in any case, so that wouldn't change anything if there were going to be any future bumps in the road. That, and having a baby in the United States is super expensive. I had excellent care here during my pregnancy and my obra social paid for all of it.

There are no easy answers, especially when it's a given that your significant other is not leaving his native country in any way, shape, or form... I wish I knew what to tell you, but speaking from my own personal experience, I can't and don't have any regrets. As much as I love my family back in the US, I have a new and wonderful "bonus" family here with all my in-laws, and once I had a baby, my concept of "my family" changed a bit, as I consider my son and my husband to be my "real family" now.

Mucha suerte!

 

[Splitty]

My advice would be to run for the hills or airport.
I got some cum dumpster pregnant after a night of vino and Whiskey.
Since then then she has proceeded to ensure my life is as miserable as possible.
She has prevented me from taking my kid to visit my family overseas and expects me to pay for everything even though I only have visitation rights.
In just the last 4 months I have spent 25,000 pesos on lawyers, just trying to get a written agreement as she constantly changes any prior verbal agreements to suit herself.


She moved to microcentro as it is close to her work, so now I have to live close by if I want to see my kid. So now I am stuck in a city/country where I don't want to live for the next 20 years! Think about that before getting involved in a relationship.

 

[Nicole_Ramirez]

I lived my Argentine husband in the States for 9 years before moving here. We have 3 kids. He's from BA, but did had no interest in having his kids live there and we were both fed up with the States so we came down south to Bariloche. We've been here almost 4 years now. I've only been home 1 time and on that trip I knew I definitly had no interest in moving back there. However I miss my family like crazy. I've only been back 1 time because we can't afford for 5 tickets to Miami and I have no interest in going alone. It is A LOT of work dealing with this situation. Especially if you have kids. I think you work a lot harder at he marraige because who wants to split up and have 2 parents in different countries. It really is going to be a pain. Especially if you've got one that is a great dad and he likes to spend a lot of time with the kids.
You need to figure out what is going to make you happy, if you can handle never living in the States again.

 

[IABhutto]

My advice would be to run for the hills or airport.
I got some cum dumpster pregnant after a night of vino and Whiskey.
Since then then she has proceeded to ensure my life is as miserable as possible.
She has prevented me from taking my kid to visit my family overseas and expects me to pay for everything even though I only have visitation rights.
In just the last 4 months I have spent 25,000 pesos on lawyers, just trying to get a written agreement as she constantly changes any prior verbal agreements to suit herself.


She moved to microcentro as it is close to her work, so now I have to live close by if I want to see my kid. So now I am stuck in a city/country where I don't want to live for the next 20 years! Think about that before getting involved in a relationship.

sorry to hear that dude..

 

[robwerwe]

Home is where the heart is
and life begins at the end of your comfort zone

Vomit. This means nothing.

 

[nikad]

My advice would be to run for the hills or airport.
I got some cum dumpster pregnant after a night of vino and Whiskey.
Since then then she has proceeded to ensure my life is as miserable as possible.
She has prevented me from taking my kid to visit my family overseas and expects me to pay for everything even though I only have visitation rights.
In just the last 4 months I have spent 25,000 pesos on lawyers, just trying to get a written agreement as she constantly changes any prior verbal agreements to suit herself.


She moved to microcentro as it is close to her work, so now I have to live close by if I want to see my kid. So now I am stuck in a city/country where I don't want to live for the next 20 years! Think about that before getting involved in a relationship.

Ugh this sounds terrible hopefully you will get to find something or someone that you like here and bring some happiness back into your life. Who knows maybe she starts to think with the head at some point and you can get to an agreement. Sorry I do not mean to insult your child´s mother.

 

[syngirl]

For now I am going to postpone my annual trip home an additional 6 months, as I don't feel my son will be ready for an international and domestic flight both ways at such a young age.

WHOA WHOA WHOA. Stop right there, was reading through this thread and saw THIS and NO, Believe me, you want to be on that plane before he is mobile! Below 6 months is FANTASTIC, they sleep the whole damn way. And you can still get the bassinet. Then 1 yr is harder, but still "ok" -- especially if they aren't an early walker -- you don't have to chase them down the aisles. Now mine just turned 2 on Monday and at the end of the month I'm flying solita with him to San Francisco. I'm already dreading it -- we go to the supermarket here and one of us has to man the cart while the other RUNS, literally runs after this kid. In a park he saunters, but take him to an enclosed area like a shopping mall or super and it's like the kid has just snorted some speed -- he is a maniac. I'm thinking to post on the Mummy's group to see if anyone has a leash they can lend me. We have an 8 hr layover in Dallas on the flight home -- my husband's like, oh yeah just take him on the shuttle to the shopping -- hmm, yeah, that sounds like a whole lot of fun, me, my toddler, and all our carryon crapola on a bus and then in a shopping mall. Though maybe it's the lesser of two evils since the alternative is all day at DFW.

Then since on this July/Aug trip we only cross 1 week with my mum, I'm also taking him home in October, thanks to my mum's 140k airmiles + $600 in taxes. Obviously I booked this trip before ever boarding the plane in July because I have to be insane to do it -- it's 28hrs each way (thanks, airmiles). Buenos Aires - Panama - Mex City - Vancouver -- with 4hrs in Panama and 7 hrs in Mexico from 10pm - 5am. On the way back it's LAX for 12hrs 5pm-5am, then Mex - Panama - Buenos Aires. A nice big FU for your loyalty from Air Canada . These were the best flights available for a reasonable amount of points between Sept and Feb next year. ANd note, 140k was "reasonable" -- the better flights they wanted 300k.

And after age 2 you have to pay full price for your son, so you need to get in as many trips home as you can before that because it breaks the bank after.

Get thee to an airport woman! Suerte!!!

 

[murvee]

I got some cum dumpster pregnant after a night of vino and Whiskey.

I can tell that you are a classy dude. I hope that your son/daughter never finds out how you refer to his/her mother.

 

[syngirl]

Oh and Lauren, under 6 mos, it's fantastic, esp if you're breastfeeding. All you need is diapers, a (couple) of changes of clothes, and like, 2 toys. It's soooo easy. I warn you, my baby had a terrible diaper on a plane, not fun trying to clean it up in one of those teensy bathrooms, but still, so much easier before solids -- once they start eating real food you have to pack all that sort of stuff too, it's such a headache. They are most transportable under 6 mos. 6mos-12mos, a bit messier, 12mos+ becomes more and more and more work, and you end up dreading the daytime connection because you just know they probably won't sleep.

 

[Somewhereinba]

This thread is doing a great job of ensuring I uphold the up most care during the act. Love does hold no boundaries however it can create a lot of headaches when it goes off the rails, especially when you introduce a child to the equation and the necessity to bow down to the whims of the now evil ex-wife/partner. I have seen it way too much unfortunately.