Pumssi said:
With you on this one ..and still waiting for an answer to So how do you act or do you just not act? It´s hard with my kids in tow to not just bow my head and run for cover in the face of possibly disgusting and insulting comments...
Cat calling
- Thread starter ArgGuy89
- Start date
With you on this one ..and still waiting for an answer to So how do you act or do you just not act? It´s hard with my kids in tow to not just bow my head and run for cover in the face of possibly disgusting and insulting comments...
MizzMarr
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As was said earlier in the discussion, the comments are by and large sweet and complimentary. Depending on who is saying what to me, I sometimes smile and continue walking, and sometimes just continue walking. It's a case by case kind of thing. Fair warning, sometimes the guys can be fairly agressive if they think that they can pick you up so you might want to have a story at the ready to get out of the situation. A wedding ring is sometimes good, but a lot of times guys don't take that as a serious obstacle! haha. Play it by ear and you'll be fine.
Fifs2, hard to believe that people would still make comments if you're with kiddos, but I guess you never know. Good thing is that at the very least the lewd/offensive kind of comments don't really happen (that's happened to me once out of many, many other times here).
ETA: After citygirl mentioned it, I'd also be curious to hear more about the women who catcall Cabrera? It's usually men directing advances towards women. The only "women" I've heard about catcalling are those who come around los Bosques to work after dark... and usually it's men they're after.
Fifs2, hard to believe that people would still make comments if you're with kiddos, but I guess you never know. Good thing is that at the very least the lewd/offensive kind of comments don't really happen (that's happened to me once out of many, many other times here).
ETA: After citygirl mentioned it, I'd also be curious to hear more about the women who catcall Cabrera? It's usually men directing advances towards women. The only "women" I've heard about catcalling are those who come around los Bosques to work after dark... and usually it's men they're after.
citygirl
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I'm still trying to figure out how women are giving Cabrera cat calls on the street. How do they know she is a lesbian?
The nice piropos usually garner a thank you or smile from me. The regular ones I don't even notice. And the lewd ones - meh - not worth my time to get upset about. I did once stop a man and ask him if what he has just suggested was physically possible. He was mortified (and I still don't think it was-certainly not given the shape or lack there of that he was in)
I'm really surprised that men do it to women with children though - (not because they have kids of course, there are a lot of MILFS out there) but in general, I find people are really respectful to women when they are with their children.
How do they know she is a lesbian? The nice piropos usually garner a thank you or smile from me. The regular ones I don't even notice. And the lewd ones - meh - not worth my time to get upset about. I did once stop a man and ask him if what he has just suggested was physically possible. He was mortified (and I still don't think it was-certainly not given the shape or lack there of that he was in
)I'm really surprised that men do it to women with children though - (not because they have kids of course, there are a lot of MILFS out there) but in general, I find people are really respectful to women when they are with their children.
Not a cat call, but some samples of the good ones, not sure if they still current though.....
"If beauty were a sin, you'd never be forgiven."
"I'm now sure there is a heaven because I've seen an angel."
"You move like the Bolshoi Ballet"
"Oh! If you could cook like you walk, I want to eat scraps!"
"I must be asleep to dream of such beauty."
"Where you go, flowers must spring up."
"So many curves, and me without brakes."
I remember them particularly the last one
"If beauty were a sin, you'd never be forgiven."
"I'm now sure there is a heaven because I've seen an angel."
"You move like the Bolshoi Ballet"
"Oh! If you could cook like you walk, I want to eat scraps!"
"I must be asleep to dream of such beauty."
"Where you go, flowers must spring up."
"So many curves, and me without brakes."
I remember them particularly the last one
Actually what is rather silly is the gross inconsistency of your position.
You wrote; ‘I don´t really think that men should react on this subject because they really have no idea what it feels like to be a woman…’
Then you concluded by posing the question; ‘Do you justify female circumsion (sp) with that comment?’ According to your logic men should not react to the practice of female circumcision for precisely the same reason.
Like it or not we live in a country which permits and promotes the exchange of ideas irrespective of gender. Perhaps you would feel more comfortable in a society fashioned after the beliefs and practices of Pol Pot. Old brother Pol sure had a knack for squashing the exchange of opposing ideas. His focus was on exterminating intellectual thought and was not based on gender so perhaps not.
It is through the exchange of ideas that we learn and improve as a society and as individuals. I make a point of talking to people who have a different point of view providing the point of view has even a little basis in logic and some element of consistency. Even when the consistency is lacking, knowledge can still be garnered from the exchange. (see below)
It seems, at least in a theoretical context, you do not have an issue with men reacting to the heinous practice of female circumcision-which is something a man could not know anything about. Believe it or not, men, like women, are beings capable of empathy. Following your flawed logic, men should not react to totalitarian governments/leaders that violently enforce such policies as not permitting women basic education (reading and writing) in parts of Afghanistan for example. Should women not react to forced military conscription of men? Should women not react to medical articles written about prostate health? Of course not. Just like men, women have the ability to empathize and forward worthy ideas.
On a more consolatory note:
‘All women react differently to this apparently "culturally-accepted" behavior, some find it um...flattering.’
I have never had a women tell me that she was ‘flattered’ by such behavior. And here is where I was able to learn something worthwhile from you in spite of the inconsistencies of your premise. I ABSOULUTELY BELIVE YOU when you say that SOME women find it flattering. I have been living under the false assumption that ALL women felt offended, demeaned, harassed, frightened, angry, etc. Thank you for this.
This practice is not part of my culture or personality. I will smile at a woman in public, and if she seems amenable I will attempt to engage her in conversation. Last week I told the lady behind the counter at a confeteria how beautiful her hair was. She smiled and thanked me. A pleasant conversation followed. The woman was well into her seventies, and I am sure she has heard it all during her life, yet she smiled at me with her mouth and her eyes, and maybe-maybe she blushed just a little. I am confident that both of us enjoyed our exchange.
I have stopped hanging with a few Argentines who practice cat calling. I do not want to be associated with in any way. When I asked why they did it the most common response was, ‘because it is funny’. So some men think it is funny to offend, demean, harass, frighten, and anger women. How could anyone take men like this seriously on any level? I pointedly asked these men; Did she smile? No. Did she agree to meet you later? No. Did you get a phone number or a mail? No. Did she thank you for your ‘compliments’? No. What would you do if you were introduced to her at social gathering next week? I dunno. Don’t you recognize that she is a person? A sister? A mother? A human being who deserves to be respected? I guess you are right. This is usually said without much enthusiasm or conviction. Again, how would any person take a man like that seriously about anything?
Buenos Aires is tough, dangerous, and charming city. Throughout my life, in all of the cities I have lived I am consciously aware of my physical proximity to women. If I am walking on a deserted street and I am catching up to a woman ahead of me, I will cross the street and continue on my way. If it is not possible to cross the street in that moment I lessen my pace and maintain an appropriate distance. It seems like a basic courtesy to me.
Finally regarding your comment that. ‘...they are obliviously rather weak if they can´t keep their minds out of the gutter when a woman crosses their path.’ I think your assertion is correct to a point. However, based on my conversations with such men I have concluded that many of them are essentially losers. They rarely connect with any women, let alone the women they harass. They are quite pathetic.
Regarding LEE’S post: ‘Actually what is rather silly is the gross inconsistency of your position.
You wrote; ‘I don´t really think that men should react on this subject because they really have no idea what it feels like to be a woman…’
Then you concluded by posing the question; ‘Do you justify female circumsion (sp) with that comment?’ According to your logic men should not react to the practice of female circumcision for precisely the same reason.
Like it or not we live in a country which permits and promotes the exchange of ideas irrespective of gender. Perhaps you would feel more comfortable in a society fashioned after the beliefs and practices of Pol Pot. Old brother Pol sure had a knack for squashing the exchange of opposing ideas. His focus was on exterminating intellectual thought and was not based on gender so perhaps not.
It is through the exchange of ideas that we learn and improve as a society and as individuals. I make a point of talking to people who have a different point of view providing the point of view has even a little basis in logic and some element of consistency. Even when the consistency is lacking, knowledge can still be garnered from the exchange. (see below)
It seems, at least in a theoretical context, you do not have an issue with men reacting to the heinous practice of female circumcision-which is something a man could not know anything about. Believe it or not, men, like women, are beings capable of empathy. Following your flawed logic, men should not react to totalitarian governments/leaders that violently enforce such policies as not permitting women basic education (reading and writing) in parts of Afghanistan for example. Should women not react to forced military conscription of men? Should women not react to medical articles written about prostate health? Of course not. Just like men, women have the ability to empathize and forward worthy ideas.
On a more consolatory note:
‘All women react differently to this apparently "culturally-accepted" behavior, some find it um...flattering.’
I have never had a women tell me that she was ‘flattered’ by such behavior. And here is where I was able to learn something worthwhile from you in spite of the inconsistencies of your premise. I ABSOULUTELY BELIVE YOU when you say that SOME women find it flattering. I have been living under the false assumption that ALL women felt offended, demeaned, harassed, frightened, angry, etc. Thank you for this.
This practice is not part of my culture or personality. I will smile at a woman in public, and if she seems amenable I will attempt to engage her in conversation. Last week I told the lady behind the counter at a confeteria how beautiful her hair was. She smiled and thanked me. A pleasant conversation followed. The woman was well into her seventies, and I am sure she has heard it all during her life, yet she smiled at me with her mouth and her eyes, and maybe-maybe she blushed just a little. I am confident that both of us enjoyed our exchange.
I have stopped hanging with a few Argentines who practice cat calling. I do not want to be associated with in any way. When I asked why they did it the most common response was, ‘because it is funny’. So some men think it is funny to offend, demean, harass, frighten, and anger women. How could anyone take men like this seriously on any level? I pointedly asked these men; Did she smile? No. Did she agree to meet you later? No. Did you get a phone number or a mail? No. Did she thank you for your ‘compliments’? No. What would you do if you were introduced to her at social gathering next week? I dunno. Don’t you recognize that she is a person? A sister? A mother? A human being who deserves to be respected? I guess you are right. This is usually said without much enthusiasm or conviction. Again, how would any person take a man like that seriously about anything?
Buenos Aires is tough, dangerous, and charming city. Throughout my life, in all of the cities I have lived I am consciously aware of my physical proximity to women. If I am walking on a deserted street and I am catching up to a woman ahead of me, I will cross the street and continue on my way. If it is not possible to cross the street in that moment I lessen my pace and maintain an appropriate distance. It seems like a basic courtesy to me.
Finally regarding your comment that. ‘...they are obliviously rather weak if they can´t keep their minds out of the gutter when a woman crosses their path.’ I think your assertion is correct to a point. However, based on my conversations with such men I have concluded that many of them are essentially losers. They rarely connect with any women, let alone the women they harass. They are quite pathetic.
Regarding LEE’S post: Actually what is rather silly is the gross inconsistency of your position.
You wrote; ‘I don´t really think that men should react on this subject because they really have no idea what it feels like to be a woman…’
Then you concluded by posing the question; ‘Do you justify female circumsion (sp) with that comment?’ According to your logic men should not react to the practice of female circumcision for precisely the same reason.
Like it or not we live in a country which permits and promotes the exchange of ideas irrespective of gender. Perhaps you would feel more comfortable in a society fashioned after the beliefs and practices of Pol Pot. Old brother Pol sure had a knack for squashing the exchange of opposing ideas. His focus was on exterminating intellectual thought and was not based on gender so perhaps not.
It is through the exchange of ideas that we learn and improve as a society and as individuals. I make a point of talking to people who have a different point of view providing the point of view has even a little basis in logic and some element of consistency. Even when the consistency is lacking, knowledge can still be garnered from the exchange. (see below)
It seems, at least in a theoretical context, you do not have an issue with men reacting to the heinous practice of female circumcision-which is something a man could not know anything about. Believe it or not, men, like women, are beings capable of empathy. Following your flawed logic, men should not react to totalitarian governments/leaders that violently enforce such policies as not permitting women basic education (reading and writing) in parts of Afghanistan for example. Should women not react to forced military conscription of men? Should women not react to medical articles written about prostate health? Of course not. Just like men, women have the ability to empathize and forward worthy ideas.
On a more consolatory note:
‘All women react differently to this apparently "culturally-accepted" behavior, some find it um...flattering.’
I have never had a women tell me that she was ‘flattered’ by such behavior. And here is where I was able to learn something worthwhile from you in spite of the inconsistencies of your premise. I ABSOULUTELY BELIVE YOU when you say that SOME women find it flattering. I have been living under the false assumption that ALL women felt offended, demeaned, harassed, frightened, angry, etc. Thank you for this.
This practice is not part of my culture or personality. I will smile at a woman in public, and if she seems amenable I will attempt to engage her in conversation. Last week I told the lady behind the counter at a confeteria how beautiful her hair was. She smiled and thanked me. A pleasant conversation followed. The woman was well into her seventies, and I am sure she has heard it all during her life, yet she smiled at me with her mouth and her eyes, and maybe-maybe she blushed just a little. I am confident that both of us enjoyed our exchange.
I have stopped hanging with a few Argentines who practice cat calling. I do not want to be associated with in any way. When I asked why they did it the most common response was, ‘because it is funny’. So some men think it is funny to offend, demean, harass, frighten, and anger women. How could anyone take men like this seriously on any level? I pointedly asked these men; Did she smile? No. Did she agree to meet you later? No. Did you get a phone number or a mail? No. Did she thank you for your ‘compliments’? No. What would you do if you were introduced to her at social gathering next week? I dunno. Don’t you recognize that she is a person? A sister? A mother? A human being who deserves to be respected? I guess you are right. This is usually said without much enthusiasm or conviction. Again, how would any person take a man like that seriously about anything?
Buenos Aires is tough, dangerous, and charming city. Throughout my life, in all of the cities I have lived I am consciously aware of my physical proximity to women. If I am walking on a deserted street and I am catching up to a woman ahead of me, I will cross the street and continue on my way. If it is not possible to cross the street in that moment I lessen my pace and maintain an appropriate distance. It seems like a basic courtesy to me.
Finally regarding your comment that. ‘...they are obliviously rather weak if they can´t keep their minds out of the gutter when a woman crosses their path.’ I think your assertion is correct to a point. However, based on my conversations with such men I have concluded that many of them are essentially losers. They rarely connect with any women, let alone the women they harass. They are quite pathetic.
LEE’S post: ‘It actually IS cultural and if you can't deal with it then well...don't know what to say except move.’
Hmm………how about you don’t move kellymp? How about you stay and think and continue to care enough to share your opinion?
You wrote; ‘I don´t really think that men should react on this subject because they really have no idea what it feels like to be a woman…’
Then you concluded by posing the question; ‘Do you justify female circumsion (sp) with that comment?’ According to your logic men should not react to the practice of female circumcision for precisely the same reason.
Like it or not we live in a country which permits and promotes the exchange of ideas irrespective of gender. Perhaps you would feel more comfortable in a society fashioned after the beliefs and practices of Pol Pot. Old brother Pol sure had a knack for squashing the exchange of opposing ideas. His focus was on exterminating intellectual thought and was not based on gender so perhaps not.
It is through the exchange of ideas that we learn and improve as a society and as individuals. I make a point of talking to people who have a different point of view providing the point of view has even a little basis in logic and some element of consistency. Even when the consistency is lacking, knowledge can still be garnered from the exchange. (see below)
It seems, at least in a theoretical context, you do not have an issue with men reacting to the heinous practice of female circumcision-which is something a man could not know anything about. Believe it or not, men, like women, are beings capable of empathy. Following your flawed logic, men should not react to totalitarian governments/leaders that violently enforce such policies as not permitting women basic education (reading and writing) in parts of Afghanistan for example. Should women not react to forced military conscription of men? Should women not react to medical articles written about prostate health? Of course not. Just like men, women have the ability to empathize and forward worthy ideas.
On a more consolatory note:
‘All women react differently to this apparently "culturally-accepted" behavior, some find it um...flattering.’
I have never had a women tell me that she was ‘flattered’ by such behavior. And here is where I was able to learn something worthwhile from you in spite of the inconsistencies of your premise. I ABSOULUTELY BELIVE YOU when you say that SOME women find it flattering. I have been living under the false assumption that ALL women felt offended, demeaned, harassed, frightened, angry, etc. Thank you for this.
This practice is not part of my culture or personality. I will smile at a woman in public, and if she seems amenable I will attempt to engage her in conversation. Last week I told the lady behind the counter at a confeteria how beautiful her hair was. She smiled and thanked me. A pleasant conversation followed. The woman was well into her seventies, and I am sure she has heard it all during her life, yet she smiled at me with her mouth and her eyes, and maybe-maybe she blushed just a little. I am confident that both of us enjoyed our exchange.
I have stopped hanging with a few Argentines who practice cat calling. I do not want to be associated with in any way. When I asked why they did it the most common response was, ‘because it is funny’. So some men think it is funny to offend, demean, harass, frighten, and anger women. How could anyone take men like this seriously on any level? I pointedly asked these men; Did she smile? No. Did she agree to meet you later? No. Did you get a phone number or a mail? No. Did she thank you for your ‘compliments’? No. What would you do if you were introduced to her at social gathering next week? I dunno. Don’t you recognize that she is a person? A sister? A mother? A human being who deserves to be respected? I guess you are right. This is usually said without much enthusiasm or conviction. Again, how would any person take a man like that seriously about anything?
Buenos Aires is tough, dangerous, and charming city. Throughout my life, in all of the cities I have lived I am consciously aware of my physical proximity to women. If I am walking on a deserted street and I am catching up to a woman ahead of me, I will cross the street and continue on my way. If it is not possible to cross the street in that moment I lessen my pace and maintain an appropriate distance. It seems like a basic courtesy to me.
Finally regarding your comment that. ‘...they are obliviously rather weak if they can´t keep their minds out of the gutter when a woman crosses their path.’ I think your assertion is correct to a point. However, based on my conversations with such men I have concluded that many of them are essentially losers. They rarely connect with any women, let alone the women they harass. They are quite pathetic.
Regarding LEE’S post: ‘Actually what is rather silly is the gross inconsistency of your position.
You wrote; ‘I don´t really think that men should react on this subject because they really have no idea what it feels like to be a woman…’
Then you concluded by posing the question; ‘Do you justify female circumsion (sp) with that comment?’ According to your logic men should not react to the practice of female circumcision for precisely the same reason.
Like it or not we live in a country which permits and promotes the exchange of ideas irrespective of gender. Perhaps you would feel more comfortable in a society fashioned after the beliefs and practices of Pol Pot. Old brother Pol sure had a knack for squashing the exchange of opposing ideas. His focus was on exterminating intellectual thought and was not based on gender so perhaps not.
It is through the exchange of ideas that we learn and improve as a society and as individuals. I make a point of talking to people who have a different point of view providing the point of view has even a little basis in logic and some element of consistency. Even when the consistency is lacking, knowledge can still be garnered from the exchange. (see below)
It seems, at least in a theoretical context, you do not have an issue with men reacting to the heinous practice of female circumcision-which is something a man could not know anything about. Believe it or not, men, like women, are beings capable of empathy. Following your flawed logic, men should not react to totalitarian governments/leaders that violently enforce such policies as not permitting women basic education (reading and writing) in parts of Afghanistan for example. Should women not react to forced military conscription of men? Should women not react to medical articles written about prostate health? Of course not. Just like men, women have the ability to empathize and forward worthy ideas.
On a more consolatory note:
‘All women react differently to this apparently "culturally-accepted" behavior, some find it um...flattering.’
I have never had a women tell me that she was ‘flattered’ by such behavior. And here is where I was able to learn something worthwhile from you in spite of the inconsistencies of your premise. I ABSOULUTELY BELIVE YOU when you say that SOME women find it flattering. I have been living under the false assumption that ALL women felt offended, demeaned, harassed, frightened, angry, etc. Thank you for this.
This practice is not part of my culture or personality. I will smile at a woman in public, and if she seems amenable I will attempt to engage her in conversation. Last week I told the lady behind the counter at a confeteria how beautiful her hair was. She smiled and thanked me. A pleasant conversation followed. The woman was well into her seventies, and I am sure she has heard it all during her life, yet she smiled at me with her mouth and her eyes, and maybe-maybe she blushed just a little. I am confident that both of us enjoyed our exchange.
I have stopped hanging with a few Argentines who practice cat calling. I do not want to be associated with in any way. When I asked why they did it the most common response was, ‘because it is funny’. So some men think it is funny to offend, demean, harass, frighten, and anger women. How could anyone take men like this seriously on any level? I pointedly asked these men; Did she smile? No. Did she agree to meet you later? No. Did you get a phone number or a mail? No. Did she thank you for your ‘compliments’? No. What would you do if you were introduced to her at social gathering next week? I dunno. Don’t you recognize that she is a person? A sister? A mother? A human being who deserves to be respected? I guess you are right. This is usually said without much enthusiasm or conviction. Again, how would any person take a man like that seriously about anything?
Buenos Aires is tough, dangerous, and charming city. Throughout my life, in all of the cities I have lived I am consciously aware of my physical proximity to women. If I am walking on a deserted street and I am catching up to a woman ahead of me, I will cross the street and continue on my way. If it is not possible to cross the street in that moment I lessen my pace and maintain an appropriate distance. It seems like a basic courtesy to me.
Finally regarding your comment that. ‘...they are obliviously rather weak if they can´t keep their minds out of the gutter when a woman crosses their path.’ I think your assertion is correct to a point. However, based on my conversations with such men I have concluded that many of them are essentially losers. They rarely connect with any women, let alone the women they harass. They are quite pathetic.
Regarding LEE’S post: Actually what is rather silly is the gross inconsistency of your position.
You wrote; ‘I don´t really think that men should react on this subject because they really have no idea what it feels like to be a woman…’
Then you concluded by posing the question; ‘Do you justify female circumsion (sp) with that comment?’ According to your logic men should not react to the practice of female circumcision for precisely the same reason.
Like it or not we live in a country which permits and promotes the exchange of ideas irrespective of gender. Perhaps you would feel more comfortable in a society fashioned after the beliefs and practices of Pol Pot. Old brother Pol sure had a knack for squashing the exchange of opposing ideas. His focus was on exterminating intellectual thought and was not based on gender so perhaps not.
It is through the exchange of ideas that we learn and improve as a society and as individuals. I make a point of talking to people who have a different point of view providing the point of view has even a little basis in logic and some element of consistency. Even when the consistency is lacking, knowledge can still be garnered from the exchange. (see below)
It seems, at least in a theoretical context, you do not have an issue with men reacting to the heinous practice of female circumcision-which is something a man could not know anything about. Believe it or not, men, like women, are beings capable of empathy. Following your flawed logic, men should not react to totalitarian governments/leaders that violently enforce such policies as not permitting women basic education (reading and writing) in parts of Afghanistan for example. Should women not react to forced military conscription of men? Should women not react to medical articles written about prostate health? Of course not. Just like men, women have the ability to empathize and forward worthy ideas.
On a more consolatory note:
‘All women react differently to this apparently "culturally-accepted" behavior, some find it um...flattering.’
I have never had a women tell me that she was ‘flattered’ by such behavior. And here is where I was able to learn something worthwhile from you in spite of the inconsistencies of your premise. I ABSOULUTELY BELIVE YOU when you say that SOME women find it flattering. I have been living under the false assumption that ALL women felt offended, demeaned, harassed, frightened, angry, etc. Thank you for this.
This practice is not part of my culture or personality. I will smile at a woman in public, and if she seems amenable I will attempt to engage her in conversation. Last week I told the lady behind the counter at a confeteria how beautiful her hair was. She smiled and thanked me. A pleasant conversation followed. The woman was well into her seventies, and I am sure she has heard it all during her life, yet she smiled at me with her mouth and her eyes, and maybe-maybe she blushed just a little. I am confident that both of us enjoyed our exchange.
I have stopped hanging with a few Argentines who practice cat calling. I do not want to be associated with in any way. When I asked why they did it the most common response was, ‘because it is funny’. So some men think it is funny to offend, demean, harass, frighten, and anger women. How could anyone take men like this seriously on any level? I pointedly asked these men; Did she smile? No. Did she agree to meet you later? No. Did you get a phone number or a mail? No. Did she thank you for your ‘compliments’? No. What would you do if you were introduced to her at social gathering next week? I dunno. Don’t you recognize that she is a person? A sister? A mother? A human being who deserves to be respected? I guess you are right. This is usually said without much enthusiasm or conviction. Again, how would any person take a man like that seriously about anything?
Buenos Aires is tough, dangerous, and charming city. Throughout my life, in all of the cities I have lived I am consciously aware of my physical proximity to women. If I am walking on a deserted street and I am catching up to a woman ahead of me, I will cross the street and continue on my way. If it is not possible to cross the street in that moment I lessen my pace and maintain an appropriate distance. It seems like a basic courtesy to me.
Finally regarding your comment that. ‘...they are obliviously rather weak if they can´t keep their minds out of the gutter when a woman crosses their path.’ I think your assertion is correct to a point. However, based on my conversations with such men I have concluded that many of them are essentially losers. They rarely connect with any women, let alone the women they harass. They are quite pathetic.
LEE’S post: ‘It actually IS cultural and if you can't deal with it then well...don't know what to say except move.’
Hmm………how about you don’t move kellymp? How about you stay and think and continue to care enough to share your opinion?
Davidglen77
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Y'all need to relax and chill out. Part of the problem of these things is people taking s**t way too seriously. If everyone got so freaked out by everything that was said and/or implied to them, they might as well start adding liquid prozac to the drinking water. One VERY valuable lesson I learned in life from my long time boss/mentor was sometimes, the best response is silence. It speaks volumes when properly used. In other words IGNORING dumb comments or comments you don´t´like implies that they mean nothing, you're not giving them any weight or validity.......so just learn to ignore if it bothers you so much and RELAX let´s put this one to rest please.
Okey, so silence or smile. First one - no problem, it has worked fine in the oh-so-wild Southern Europe, but smiling...I've found it a bad idea sometimes. "Thank you" is a bit 'dangerous' too - then the guy starts to ask where am I from and bla bla, thinking that smile/thanks is a sign me being very interested in him. On the other hand, I feel like being an annoying proud princess if I just pretend to be deaf when someone gives me a compliment. Does this make any sense? Compliments are fine, thanks dude, but leave it there since I'm not looking for a boyfriend in a supermarket.
Yes, I've had these discussions many times in foreign supermarkets Or in a beach, if I'm there sitting alone.
I was also thinking about the "macho" culture of Latin America. Hehe, do guys get really offended if I treat them like I treat my friends here - "oh you little puppy, let me get that for you since ur such a shortie" or answering a smart comment "yes, you've pretty good ass as well!"? Or should I remain quiet and keep the "manly self esteem" in mind^^
I even find the guys in the US to be a bit too much. Opening doors, ordering food for the girl and helping her with the jacket etc... I mean it's nice but it's not that common in my country. Well, this doesn't belong to this topic - just ignore
Yes, I've had these discussions many times in foreign supermarkets
Or in a beach, if I'm there sitting alone.I was also thinking about the "macho" culture of Latin America. Hehe, do guys get really offended if I treat them like I treat my friends here - "oh you little puppy, let me get that for you since ur such a shortie" or answering a smart comment "yes, you've pretty good ass as well!"? Or should I remain quiet and keep the "manly self esteem" in mind^^
I even find the guys in the US to be a bit too much. Opening doors, ordering food for the girl and helping her with the jacket etc... I mean it's nice but it's not that common in my country. Well, this doesn't belong to this topic - just ignore
Haven't read all the thread, but I have an Argentine friend who regularly embarrasses me with his sometimes rather creative, other times rather ribald (never thought I'd have an occasion to use that word) piropos.
Curiously, he really is about as nice of a guy as you could meet.
Curiously, he really is about as nice of a guy as you could meet.
MizzMarr said:As was said earlier in the discussion, the comments are by and large sweet and complimentary. Depending on who is saying what to me, I sometimes smile and continue walking, and sometimes just continue walking. It's a case by case kind of thing. Fair warning, sometimes the guys can be fairly agressive if they think that they can pick you up so you might want to have a story at the ready to get out of the situation. A wedding ring is sometimes good, but a lot of times guys don't take that as a serious obstacle! haha. Play it by ear and you'll be fine.
Fifs2, hard to believe that people would still make comments if you're with kiddos, but I guess you never know. Good thing is that at the very least the lewd/offensive kind of comments don't really happen (that's happened to me once out of many, many other times here).
ETA: After citygirl mentioned it, I'd also be curious to hear more about the women who catcall Cabrera? It's usually men directing advances towards women. The only "women" I've heard about catcalling are those who come around los Bosques to work after dark... and usually it's men they're after.
I bet you are curious Mizzmar about hot woman who are catcalling me .
Jealous are you not
sketchyblueeyes
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Piropos in Buenos Aires are part of a larger culture that treats women as inherently inferior to men. I know this is going to inflame some tempers, and thats cool, I don't really care - I'm not going to check this thread again because there's really no point. I do want to put forth that a friend of mine doing her masters as a university here in BA made her final project interviewing argentine men and women on the topic of piropos - how they felt about them, what they mean, do they threaten, etc. The results were extremely interesting in that most of them women as individuals has a "sometimes good, sometimes threatening" response, whereas the men tended to say always flattering. That being said, there is a big difference between a quick remark made as someone walks by and a male exerting his physical power over you by standing intentionally and sexually close and making a crude or vulgar comment that puts you in the role of an object.
This subject has received enough attention that Buenos Aires has actually started its own Hollaback group - a movement to use mobile technology and speaking out to reempower women, so to speak, to hold their ground against this threatening behavior. Here is a link to the page: http://buenosaires.ihollaback.org/
An example is that a women on a NYC subway took out her mobile phone and started recording a male who was basically looking at her and masturbating. Instead of backing down, she got the guy on tape and went to the police.
Instead of ranting about angrily, I plan on getting as involved with this group as my time permits because this is a subject that is important to me as both a woman and as a person. Just because a society is permissive of behaviors that objectify women and lead to such thoughts as a woman was "asking for" unwanted words, touches, advances, rape, etch just because she dresses a certain way does not mean that I have to accept it.
This subject has received enough attention that Buenos Aires has actually started its own Hollaback group - a movement to use mobile technology and speaking out to reempower women, so to speak, to hold their ground against this threatening behavior. Here is a link to the page: http://buenosaires.ihollaback.org/
An example is that a women on a NYC subway took out her mobile phone and started recording a male who was basically looking at her and masturbating. Instead of backing down, she got the guy on tape and went to the police.
Instead of ranting about angrily, I plan on getting as involved with this group as my time permits because this is a subject that is important to me as both a woman and as a person. Just because a society is permissive of behaviors that objectify women and lead to such thoughts as a woman was "asking for" unwanted words, touches, advances, rape, etch just because she dresses a certain way does not mean that I have to accept it.
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