Dating Argentines...

[Christy]

Hello!
Over drinks the other evening a friend shared a story about how he finally decided it was time to break off his relationship with his 6mo long Argentine girlfriend after she became livid about him hanging out with a girl - friend - and threw all his stuff out onto the street.

I've heard similar stories in the past, of course not as extreme, as well as ones that end happily, but we were wondering ... Has anyone reading this had any kind of similar stories? And do you have any advice for those about to enter a relationship with an Argentine? Cultural differences?

 

[nikad]

Hello!
Over drinks the other evening a friend shared a story about how he finally decided it was time to break off his relationship with his 6mo long Argentine girlfriend after she became livid about him hanging out with a girl - friend - and threw all his stuff out onto the street.

I've heard similar stories in the past, of course not as extreme, as well as ones that end happily, but we were wondering ... Has anyone reading this had any kind of similar stories? And do you have any advice for those about to enter a relationship with an Argentine? Cultural differences?

You do not hang out with an opposite sex friend alone when you are in a relationship, that is a big no no in general.

 

[luddite]

although I didn't date an Argentine, I had a similar experience when I was dating a Chilean. Even after we broke off our relationship and I returned to the states, she cyber-stalked me and sent disturbing letters. I still sleep with one eye open.

 

[tangojohn]

You do not hang out with an opposite sex friend alone when you are in a relationship, that is a big no no in general.

I don't have any experience dating women other than from the U.S.A. I am also friends with several other single women who I have drinks with, go to movies and theater etc. I don't hide it from who I date. I just consider it doing something with a friend not a date. I could not stand being in any kind of a relationship with anyone who could become so jealous of what is a totally innocent.

 

[nikad]

I don't have any experience dating women other than from the U.S.A. I am also friends with several other single women who I have drinks with, go to movies and theater etc. I don't hide it from who I date. I just consider it doing something with a friend not a date. I could not stand being in any kind of a relationship with anyone who could become so jealous of what is a totally innocent.

I can understand your point of view, but in general that is how both men/women react here to close friends from the opposite sex, it seems to be fine if you go out with your group of friends, even if they are all from the opposite sex, I guess it is the one on one thing that disturb people a lot. I must add that it is ok if you are a teenager though. I had numerous issues with both my partners in the past, and my friends partners, since I am a female and had 90% of boy-friends. I guess this is one of those things you should say right from the very beginning to avoid stalkers and hiper jealous people.

 

[mochilera]

Argentines are very passionate and kind but I wont' believe a word from what they say..have you heard about the word "chamuyeros" ?? that's exactly what they are, "chamuyo" is like bull shit but in a involving meaning, its a word that only exists in Argentinean spanish (even though I think Caribbean guys can be worse) you know, just like the tango words, you are so pretty, you are the love of my life, I won't be able to live without you, but after all this passion is burned ....nothing is left. Besides that the culture has a strong tendency to dramatism, so I don't know about the other sex, but regarding guys, I find them sexies, cutes and interesting to have a nice time with them for a whil, but I won't put so much efforts in handeling a serious relationship with an Argentinean guy, actually with any latin guy...I've seen from my friends a lot of sad stories, as European and American girls are usually too good and honest to them. One of my best friends from Denmark had very bad stories with latin guys and she though Argentines because they seem to be mor eEuropean will be different but they ended being worse, they make a drama for anything. It probably doesn't mean they are bad guys, and probably all of them are not too bad but I wont' recomend a serious relationship with them to anybody. I will leave the local girls to deal with their own guys, I guess they all have experience in handling their character

 

[Recoleta Carolina]

Latin relationships are particularly possesive. And, obsessive. I think that initially men from other cultures somehow find it "sexy." But, after a while unless you get married, the possessiveness gets real old and somewhat scary.

 

[Napoleon]

When I was taking a Spanish intensive course at a language institute, a teacher than I had many different weeks was also getting her degree in Psychology. She seemed really "down to earth" and had lived in England for a year or two. She was ~27 years old.

One day someone asked her a question about Argentine men and whether or not they cheat. She said- Yes, all Argentines cheat. Then we asked "Just men? Or women too?" She said "Women too. Everyone cheats."

I'm thinking that THIS is why there is such a psychotic reaction to "one-on-one" evenings with friends of the opposite sex.

I also had an English student (male) who was 35 and expecting his 3rd kid within a few weeks of us starting classes back in late '07. When he found out that I lived in Recoleta at that time, he said "You live need BLACK and SHAMPOO." He was correct, but I thought that that was a bit odd of him to point out.

Then another time we were talking about boliches after he mentioned that he goes once a month. I asked him if several couples got together and dropped off all of their kids at one house/apartment so that they could get one babysitter to watch all of the kids. This would allow all of the couples to go to the boliche in one big group.

He looked at me with a confused expression and asked "Why would you go to a boliche with your wife?"

Obviously he went to boliches to get laid. Find a girl, go to a Telo, have sex, and then go home to the wife. How charming. But I don't think that it is that uncommon. So the prevailing attitude in this country (or maybe just "this city") has something to do with the psychotic reaction by women here to one-on-one outings with friends of the opposite sex. (...unless they're gay of course. Then it's todo bien.)

 

[desertrose]

I personally did not have problems making it clear to my boyfriend that I hang out alone with male friends and that this is not going to change. The issue I find most annoying is that people here usually have extremely strong family bonds. Nothing against that, I just don't like to be expected to spend every Sunday/holiday/birthday with the in-laws and the rest of the tribe.

 

[perry]

Buenos Aires has more Telos ( love Hotels) than anywhere else in the world . Does that not tell you something? There is less guilt about having affairs here than most societies but there is also more mistrust in relationships. I have known successful Argentine foreign relationships but cultural differences create problems.