Dealing with kids asking for money repeatedly after being helped

[Lanick]

Okay... and that was sufficient evidence to tell everyone not to give anything either, to anyone? Guess I was hoping for somewhat more profound insights.

If you want more “profound” insights and these are not enough then live and learn! Nobody is here to convince you, I bet nobody cares either! People sharing their thoughts out of their experiences. Not every homeless or beggar are bad people but there has been a lot of instances where people created themselves unnecessary headaches.

 

[VincentKMcMahon]

I don't have a profound insite but I will add my story. I used to buy food for a beggar always at the front of the supermarket in front of my house. One day I was walking past and I didn't have my wallet or any cash on me. The guy kept following me for over 6 blocks asking me to buy him food while I kept telling him I didn't bring my wallet. Then he lunged at me and grabbed my jean pockets to verify I had no wallet. He then looked at me and said "you aren't a good person" ( !!! )

It wasn't scarey because i am a large man but any single girls I would never recommend you ever interact or "help" these people because you never know what will happen. You can help them a thousand times and the first time you can't they will turn on you with pure hatred

 

[Lanick]

I don't have a profound insite but I will add my story. I used to buy food for a beggar always at the front of the supermarket in front of my house. One day I was walking past and I didn't have my wallet or any cash on me. The guy kept following me for over 6 blocks asking me to buy him food while I kept telling him I didn't bring my wallet. Then he lunged at me and grabbed my jean pockets to verify I had no wallet. He then looked at me and said "you aren't a good person" ( !!! )

It wasn't scarey because i am a large man but any single girls I would never recommend you ever interact or "help" these people because you never know what will happen. You can help them a thousand times and the first time you can't they will turn on you with pure hatred

Come on man, a smile goes a long way!!!!
For those who believe that’s true; when the guy is desperate for food or cash or whatever, the smile of a gringo will be the last thing they care about.

 

[Stantucker]

Okay... and that was sufficient evidence to tell everyone not to give anything either, to anyone? Guess I was hoping for somewhat more profound insights.

A few years back I had an friend here (a drug addict that was constantly in and out of rehab paid for by the State and private organizations) who was receiving just about as much for his disability (addiction) from the feds and the city as much as another friend who worked six days week in a restaurant full time and was studying medicine. Can you imagine the kind of life that my med school friend who only worked, attended classes and studied in comparison with my Argentine friend who never worked. My addicted friend didn't need to work or get his shit together because everything was given to him.

I know of someone who offered a guy who was living on the street a job, but he declined. I guess he was doing too well begging. Yes, giving out freebies seems so generous, kind hearted and actually helpful, but it can just perpetuate the cycle.

Having said that I know that each case is individual and that employment is a problem. I'm sure there are people out there who would like to work and get off the streets but can't find that opportunity and truly appreciate the help we give them. It's a complex issue.

 

[Stantucker]

I wasn't going to mention this initially but my addicted friend is Argentine and my friend who works and studies medicine is Venezuelan. I do think that too many Argentines have gotten too used to free stuff from the state.

 

[Goata]

> Don’t give money or clothes to people who ask.

I've heard/seen this stance before and I respect it. Just for the sake of discussion, I'm interested in the downsides you see to doing this. I myself can't help but to give what change I got from the supermarket to the person sitting on a mattress on the corner of my block.

It may be true that I can't know how they'll spend it, but (a) that's where I give the benefit of the doubt and (b) I'm not entirely sure that's my business.

An argument I've heard (from Seinfeld no less) is that giving money to the homeless somehow helps to perpetuate their situation, or as he put it, "I'm agreeing to you not being able to get out of the situation". I could see that in the US or the EU, but I'm not sure that translates 1:1 to Argentina. Same for the argument of 'men of working age'. I mean, I'm not comfortable assuming there's jobs for them right now.

I made a statement on my wifes policy about not giving to "men of working age" and I agree with you completely. Even those with jobs or careers are struggling at the moment. Many are 1 big car problem away from being w/o a car and having to use public transportation, outside of the few big cities in Arg. public transportation is tedious at best. I have a contractor who works on my house who is GREAT, does electric, plumbing, cement... always on time, a very nice honest man who has keys to my house... If he lived in the USA he would have a nice house in the city and a weekend place in the Mountains but here in Argentina he is just gettin by.

 

[Cambalache]

I'll give you my point of view as a local, middle class (actually, falling out of the middle class - thanks Milei!).
If someone asks me for help, I try to help.
I never give money.
I don't give to anyone who asks me for things in a violent way. In that case, a firm "No, no tengo plata" or "No, no tengo" is enough.
Yes, I am in favor of donating clothes. I know they sell them at "ferias" in the squares, or exchange them for other products and with that they generate extra income.
There are usually families who come to collect them every Sunday in my neighborhood. Lately, fewer come, or not the whole family comes as before, since the cost of public transport has increased a lot.
If someone rings my doorbell, I never open the door, for safety. I tell them to come back in 15 minutes, and Iet them know that I will leave a bag or box with what I have collected. Clothes and shoes in good condition and clean, and I usually include non-perishable food if I have it at home.
These families usually travel more than 2 or 3 hours by different means of transport from the deep suburbs where they live (La Matanza, Moreno, etc.), to the ABC1 neighborhoods, to look for products that are "good" to resell.

 

[ShoeMakerLevy9]

Here's how Ricky Gervais in the Netflix series "Afterlife" dealt with two punks demanding money:

Of course I'm not suggesting you smash anyone in the head with a can of dog food, but I can say that I greatly enjoyed watching the series.

I did enjoy the series as well. The thing is the people OP describes are not belicose and rely on pityness to get their money.
Being from a first world country, or looking like you are, will draw some of these people.
Some people knock on my door from time to time and I just tell them I have some food and they're okay with that, some pasta, sugar, etc.
I think the main difference with what some of the posters here are experiencing is linked to some kind of entitlement poor people might feel to some of your wealth, especially being a foreigner.
I think the worst you can do is giving them money; just give them edibles, that way, if they keep coming you know you're helping them and they are indeed going through a rough time and will be happy with something to eat.
There's a guy who appears 4 times a month on my front door and he's happy with what I give him: pasta, coke, some fruits, etc. I may be luckier than most since he's quite grateful and I know I'm helping someone who really needs the help of those who can afford giving away some food.

Regarding the more problematic "beggars" I think telling them that you can give them food or nothing in a firm tone will be your best shot; if the situation escalates avoid confrontation since some of them have nothing to lose, but after seeing you making it clear that it's either food or nothing will discourage them from coming again, or so I hope.

My 240ARS (around 2 USD cents?)