Jcyordenana
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- Mar 12, 2011
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Thinking a lot about parenting lately in terms of the differences between our corner of San Francisco and our corner of Belgrano-Nunez--can't possibly speak for the US or Buenos Aires...
I think parents take things a lot less personally and take themselves a lot less seriously than many of the people I know in SF where we analyze every single parenting choice to death (compostable or cloth diapers? organic or locally grown produce? waldorf or montessori? )and protect our kids from sugar, wheat, soy, dairy, anything nonorganic, plastic, and screen time like their/our lives are on the line. While I really wish people here wouldn't react with such horror when my son requests milk with dinner instead of coke or sugar-filled 'juice'--and can't believe he drinks it without sugar or Nesquick--it's also been great for me to learn to relax a little over monitoring everything so much.
And my son has definitely learned better social skills in a culture where the kids are expected to go off and play amongst themselves and work things out while the adults sit and drink mate and yak for days, instead of hovering over them every second.
It does seem to me that possibly some parents don't set the same limits on their kids here that I am accustomed to, but I have also had the privilege of seeing many of these kids grow from 4 to 14 and for all of my judgment when these kids were smaller and acting like monsters (in my non-parent memory!) they are without exception now, as teenagers, mind you, some of the nicest, sweetest, and most together adolescents I've ever met. So I try to keep an open mind.
I do like the way many activities here that would be adults only in SF are family friendly here, and I have been grateful many times for the tolerance and warmth I feel many people here have shown my son and other kids, a tolerance and warmth I think is often lacking in parallel situations in my culture. On the other hand, we also have a lot more resources dedicated to kids and families, places to go and things to do, and I don't mean shows where they just sit and watch.
But kids running amok in an upscale restaurant is just lame, no matter where you are, and it definitely happens plenty in the states.
My friend told me a story--could be an urban leged--about living in Amsterdam. She says--I have no personal experience with this--that the Dutch are rather notorious in their lack of interest in setting limits on their kids. So a guy is standing in line at the supermarket, and the kid sitting in the seat of the cart in front of him begins to kick him. He tells the kid nicely not to kick him, kid ignores him, he asks the mother to make the kid stop. She says, "Oh, my husband and I don't believe in setting limits on our children." The guy in front of her, who's just paid for his purchases, opens a carton of milk and calmly dumps it over her head, saying, "Neither did mine."
I think parents take things a lot less personally and take themselves a lot less seriously than many of the people I know in SF where we analyze every single parenting choice to death (compostable or cloth diapers? organic or locally grown produce? waldorf or montessori? )and protect our kids from sugar, wheat, soy, dairy, anything nonorganic, plastic, and screen time like their/our lives are on the line. While I really wish people here wouldn't react with such horror when my son requests milk with dinner instead of coke or sugar-filled 'juice'--and can't believe he drinks it without sugar or Nesquick--it's also been great for me to learn to relax a little over monitoring everything so much.
And my son has definitely learned better social skills in a culture where the kids are expected to go off and play amongst themselves and work things out while the adults sit and drink mate and yak for days, instead of hovering over them every second.
It does seem to me that possibly some parents don't set the same limits on their kids here that I am accustomed to, but I have also had the privilege of seeing many of these kids grow from 4 to 14 and for all of my judgment when these kids were smaller and acting like monsters (in my non-parent memory!) they are without exception now, as teenagers, mind you, some of the nicest, sweetest, and most together adolescents I've ever met. So I try to keep an open mind.
I do like the way many activities here that would be adults only in SF are family friendly here, and I have been grateful many times for the tolerance and warmth I feel many people here have shown my son and other kids, a tolerance and warmth I think is often lacking in parallel situations in my culture. On the other hand, we also have a lot more resources dedicated to kids and families, places to go and things to do, and I don't mean shows where they just sit and watch.
But kids running amok in an upscale restaurant is just lame, no matter where you are, and it definitely happens plenty in the states.
My friend told me a story--could be an urban leged--about living in Amsterdam. She says--I have no personal experience with this--that the Dutch are rather notorious in their lack of interest in setting limits on their kids. So a guy is standing in line at the supermarket, and the kid sitting in the seat of the cart in front of him begins to kick him. He tells the kid nicely not to kick him, kid ignores him, he asks the mother to make the kid stop. She says, "Oh, my husband and I don't believe in setting limits on our children." The guy in front of her, who's just paid for his purchases, opens a carton of milk and calmly dumps it over her head, saying, "Neither did mine."
