Making Friendships

[cruizes]

We returned to Buenos Aires 2+ months ago after being away for about 2 years. We really do like it here but haven't learned the language so making any kind of friendships are almost impossible.

We are a very stable, yet fun, gay couple of many years so going to the clubs at 2AM isn't going to happen but love to entertain, meet new people and have good conversations.

Any recommendations? It's gotten so bad we are continually talking about returning to America but in our hearts we know that there must be other solutions out there.

Thanks for reading this. Would love to hear from some of you.

Michael

 

[Dublin2BuenosAires]

Michael, I suspect you might already know this but the lack of Spanish really will hold you back. To gt the most out of the city you need to get to a reasonable level.

 

[lucha54]

Hi Michael,
are you only interested in making friends with locals or would you consider social events with other expats too?

 

[Mano Negra]

There are 20 events a day that you can go to where you are likely to meet people, especially the foodie ones.

 

[Montauk_Project]

Take classes and learn Spanish. Would you want to be friends with someone in the US who couldn´t speak English? Get involved in theater classes, art classes where you can be involved in group activities.
Also, in Argentine culture making friends when you are in a couple can be hard. Maybe being gay it is different, but if I go have a cup of coffee with a guy my husband is like "he just wants to sleep with you!!". Not that this is a problem in your couple, but could be why people are reluctant to meet with you.

 

[Rich One]

Here Couples socialize less with singles , gay, or Hetero....!

 

[Vermonter]

Hey Michael,

Being an expat here can be really tough, regardless if you have a good level of Spanish or not. Arriving here and knowing almost nobody can make assimilating very very difficult - not impossible though : )

I found for many months I had very few friends and would often spend my weekends doing almost nothing at all, however when I finally got over the anxiety of going out and doing things, within weeks I began developing contacts and now have a strong social network.

The key is to just get out and get active - do some volunteer work (there are many organizations here that don't require a high level of Spanish), of course as was mentioned Spanish lessons - but there are also a number of expat activities that you could attend and would not need any Spanish.

This city can sometimes seem very cold and uninviting, once you get socializing though the whole atmosphere will change instantly.

 

[Dublin2BuenosAires]

I have been lazy and relied on my wife's friends to keep me amused !

 

[Montauk_Project]

With a few exceptions, the concept of "lets get together, we´re two couples" is kind of hard to work out. My husband is like "why do I want to talk to a guy who I don´t know because you are friends with his wife?"
Also, friendship is seen very differently. Having a good connection with someone, doing something together does not make you a friend. Friendship here normally gets established in school (when you are young) and these connections or networks will be in your life for many years. Friendship is tied to a favor network and becomes an extention of the family network.
I was always surprised to go to a friend´s party and find out that 60% of his friends there he knew since he was 10 years old! From Patagonia! They all moved here after high school and are still friends. I don´t think I´m even on facebook with my elementary school friends.
So, how do you get into that 10% to 40% of "not from grade school" friend zone? The only way is via activities, such as work, volunteering, studying, etc People here are very creative and acting classes are a great way to meet people. If you go to a class and find people to be cold or not get together after the class, find another one. centro cultural rojas has classes, but there are many other cultural centers. Acting classes are a great way to practice Spanish--most exercises are non-verbal and a lot of people take them to get over their shyness.
The other thing, try to do group outings more than invite just one person.
Language exchanges can also help you meet people.

 

[Chicaargentina]

Ill be friends with you

I ve lived here for 2 years (im not originally from this city) and in the beggining i found it hard to make friends, but then i started doing things i enjoy like cultural/gatherings, poeting readings, parties organized by writers (those are surpisingly fun from an outsider point of view, i mean writers like to PARTY here!), etc, and i met amazing people and now i have my group of friends! I have a group of people i know or see in parties, and a group of very close friends that i can count in, we travel together, have eachothers back, call in any emergency, etc. My best friend is a gay guy from here, he is the best, one of the nicest people i ever met in my life and super fun!

Im a girl, 31, nice, fun, love to meet new people, argentinian.