Making Friendships

[Sulacochilcano]

Speaking as a married norteamericano, I have noticed that there is very little in the way of cold meet-and-greet socialization. Not necessarily a bad thing, but you have to learn to leverage the first few friendships (easier said than done) into more-or-less closed social functions. The best times I have had here have been with groups of (also married) friends. Even going out to boliches you don't really socialize without your posse, so to speak.

 

[Mano Negra]

With a few exceptions, the concept of "lets get together, we´re two couples" is kind of hard to work out. My husband is like "why do I want to talk to a guy who I don´t know because you are friends with his wife?"
Also, friendship is seen very differently. Having a good connection with someone, doing something together does not make you a friend. Friendship here normally gets established in school (when you are young) and these connections or networks will be in your life for many years. Friendship is tied to a favor network and becomes an extention of the family network.
I was always surprised to go to a friend´s party and find out that 60% of his friends there he knew since he was 10 years old! From Patagonia! They all moved here after high school and are still friends. I don´t think I´m even on facebook with my elementary school friends.
So, how do you get into that 10% to 40% of "not from grade school" friend zone? The only way is via activities, such as work, volunteering, studying, etc People here are very creative and acting classes are a great way to meet people. If you go to a class and find people to be cold or not get together after the class, find another one. centro cultural rojas has classes, but there are many other cultural centers. Acting classes are a great way to practice Spanish--most exercises are non-verbal and a lot of people take them to get over their shyness.
The other thing, try to do group outings more than invite just one person.
Language exchanges can also help you meet people.

Actually its very easy to make friends. Cook! And just invite anyone you think is interesting to dinner. Make sure there are at least 8 people so you don't feel pressured to entertain while you are cooking. Argentines almost always get on with each other, so dinner parties are stress free on the social level. And everyone loves to eat. Top tip, if you find you have invited someone that you actually don't like, slip a chilli into his food. If Argentine he will promptly die. Problem solved.

 

[Mano Negra]

Ill be friends with you

I ve lived here for 2 years (im not originally from this city) and in the beggining i found it hard to make friends, but then i started doing things i enjoy like cultural/gatherings, poeting readings, parties organized by writers (those are surpisingly fun from an outsider point of view, i mean writers like to PARTY here!), etc, and i met amazing people and now i have my group of friends! I have a group of people i know or see in parties, and a group of very close friends that i can count in, we travel together, have eachothers back, call in any emergency, etc. My best friend is a gay guy from here, he is the best, one of the nicest people i ever met in my life and super fun!

Im a girl, 31, nice, fun, love to meet new people, argentinian.

I'm a 47 year old guy, English, aspiring writer and hotelier, speak reasonable spanish, been here 4 years and I have to say that I have never had a social life that equals what I have in BA. Everyone has 2 or 3 major passions outside of work which makes it so much easier to talk to people. No one gives a monkey's about how important/rich/useful you are. They do care about sustaining a good conversation. Strangely I never had gay friends in London, sexuality there was strangely politicised and in your face. I found most gay people rather irritating. Here I reckon at least 30% of my friends are gay and probably 40% of my closer friends. And it is not something that I ever think about. Maybe it is because BA is intrinsically more liberal? I don't know. It just doesn't seem important to know about someone's sexuality. Far more important to know they will bring round a decent bottle of tinto, appreciate your food and have stuff to chat about into the wee small hours....that's why I live here!

 

[Chicaargentina]

I'm a 47 year old guy, English, aspiring writer and hotelier, speak reasonable spanish, been here 4 years and I have to say that I have never had a social life that equals what I have in BA. Everyone has 2 or 3 major passions outside of work which makes it so much easier to talk to people. No one gives a monkey's about how important/rich/useful you are. They do care about sustaining a good conversation. Strangely I never had gay friends in London, sexuality there was strangely politicised and in your face. I found most gay people rather irritating. Here I reckon at least 30% of my friends are gay and probably 40% of my closer friends. And it is not something that I ever think about. Maybe it is because BA is intrinsically more liberal? I don't know. It just doesn't seem important to know about someone's sexuality. Far more important to know they will bring round a decent bottle of tinto, appreciate your food and have stuff to chat about into the wee small hours....that's why I live here!

Agree with a lot of what you say !

People here are really cool, interesting. Though i admit its hard at the beggining, and thats why i understand the expats POV in this, but there IS a way to get into someones life, even if you dont know them since you were 10 years old. I came here at 29 y/o and my closest friend is a born and raised porteño, who still haves his friends from primary school, we met in a literary workshop that we both go to, and became close really fast. Next thing i know, i ve met all his family, his friends he had since he was a kid, we traveled together, and now we speak on daily basis. He is an amazing person, and i just started being a part of his life, even when he already had a considerable amount of close friends, we just clicked.
Also, another thing that people dont seem to take in count about BA, is that A LOT of the people that live here are not originally porteños. So its not like they all have their closed group of friends since their were kids, there are a lot of people that came from small towns of cities from all over the country and are eager and open to meet new people . I ve became very close to a couple and their kid from Cordoba, too, super nice people! BA is really good place to meet people cause friendship is important here.

Im also an aspiring writer Lets be friends

 

[PhilipDT]

Hey Cruizes, are you guys oenophiles? stapxeab and I are bringing back the BaExpats wine tasting group. If you're into it, it is a great way to meet people with whom you have something in common. The first meeting is tentatively penciled in for the last or second to last week of the month.

pd: obviously this is not just limited to cruizes, anybody who thinks they might be interested feel free to send a PM to me.

 

[Gringoboy]

Like Dublin, most of the people I know have been through my other half.
A also find a lot of Argentines very clique. It can be a battle to break into a circle.

 

[cruizes]

Here Couples socialize less with singles , gay, or Hetero....!

So who's left????

 

[Valentina]

With a few exceptions, the concept of "lets get together, we´re two couples" is kind of hard to work out. My husband is like "why do I want to talk to a guy who I don´t know because you are friends with his wife?"
Also, friendship is seen very differently. Having a good connection with someone, doing something together does not make you a friend. Friendship here normally gets established in school (when you are young) and these connections or networks will be in your life for many years. Friendship is tied to a favor network and becomes an extention of the family network.
I was always surprised to go to a friend´s party and find out that 60% of his friends there he knew since he was 10 years old! From Patagonia! They all moved here after high school and are still friends. I don´t think I´m even on facebook with my elementary school friends.
So, how do you get into that 10% to 40% of "not from grade school" friend zone? The only way is via activities, such as work, volunteering, studying, etc People here are very creative and acting classes are a great way to meet people. If you go to a class and find people to be cold or not get together after the class, find another one. centro cultural rojas has classes, but there are many other cultural centers. Acting classes are a great way to practice Spanish--most exercises are non-verbal and a lot of people take them to get over their shyness.
The other thing, try to do group outings more than invite just one person.
Language exchanges can also help you meet people.

Sounds very similar to the social structure of Brasil. It can be really tough.

 

[cruizes]

Hi Michael,
are you only interested in making friends with locals or would you consider social events with other expats too?

Would love to get to know both locals and expats. Any suggestions are appreciated

Michael

 

[cruizes]

Ill be friends with you

I ve lived here for 2 years (im not originally from this city) and in the beggining i found it hard to make friends, but then i started doing things i enjoy like cultural/gatherings, poeting readings, parties organized by writers (those are surpisingly fun from an outsider point of view, i mean writers like to PARTY here!), etc, and i met amazing people and now i have my group of friends! I have a group of people i know or see in parties, and a group of very close friends that i can count in, we travel together, have eachothers back, call in any emergency, etc. My best friend is a gay guy from here, he is the best, one of the nicest people i ever met in my life and super fun!

Im a girl, 31, nice, fun, love to meet new people, argentinian.

Would love to meet you over a cup of coffee. Wasnt able to PM you. Please send me a message with your email etc thanks...