Making Friendships

[EricLovesBA]

You know, I don't know that there is much that falls higher on the priority scale here than being social. if you are willing to relax and drink mate (or better yet serve mate), you can't help but find people to socialize, for hours, and hours, and hours. If you drank mate with the right attitude and a smile and spoke to them entirely in English and they didn't understand a word, I bet a high percentage of Argentines would still be entertained by the experience.

 

[Brunette36]

It's true. Argentinians are typically quite open. They will talk to you and if they like you, I can't say you will be friends forever but I am sure they will show you a good time.

 

[GMXam]

Congratulations on your marriage and getting your DNIs, cruizes. However, what a bummer about the expats you've met. We've been here over a year (my boyfriend and I), and since hosting coffee chats at an average of twice a week over the course of a year we've met far more expat friends than expat weirdos and drama queens. They're out there for sure, but thankfully the 7 we've met were outnumbered by the 35 expats we now have as friends from the many who've attended coffee chats.

The challenge we've come across with expats here in BA: many don't stick around very long. Some are here for a temporary amount of time (3-6 months). For others, intentions are there, but this place is hard to live in if you make pesos, if you want the creature comforts from your previous country, if you don't know Spanish and are a people person, or if you don't adapt well or quickly. Of those 35 expat friends, 17 have left the country, 2 leave next month, and one leaves Wednesday.

Although I feel like we're saying goodbye to at least one person a month, I'm truly glad to have met so many awesome people, shared experiences over a meal, checked out places we've never seen with people we can speak with in our native language, and celebrated various occasions/holidays/birthdays with people we've grown to love and call our family.

I think the main difference in our experiences lies in the investment. I invest 3-6 hours per week in meeting new people, putting myself out there, giving chance a chance, BUT I am only investing time and effort to meet people for those hours. I save the cooking or the going out to cool places for my friends.

My rate is at about 7% when it comes to meeting expat weirdos and expat drama queens, as I'm pretty sure I've met close to if not more than a hundred people in the last year through coffee chats alone. Not too bad in my opinion. Don't give up on the expats. PM me some time or come to coffee chat. I promise, we're not all drama...some of us are satisfied with reading this forum for that.

Side note: We also have Argentine friends we've met through business or friends who've also become our friends, but it helps that we know Spanish to be able to grow and sustain those relationships.

Well guys, it has been just over a year since my post of "Making Friendships" dated November 7, 2013.

Oh my God what a year! After wasting valuable time, hundred of dollars, (not pesos jajaja) and entertaining countless numbers of expats in my home my advice would be to keep your distance. Although I have met a few very sweet people and maintain good friendships with them. You know who you are. I have had the pleasure and honor of meeting Spanish royalty (actually from Ecuador). A direct quote from the Royals "You don't know who I am, Google me" I did and nothing popped up A pot head from San Francisco and a bitch from Oakland (depends on the day you ask). Sometimes Oakland sometimes Detroit). I have to admit that 2014 has been a very interesting year. There are many lonely people out there. Unfortunately the people I met were generally looking for a home cooked meal. Not friendship

The Silver Lining - I got married to my love of many years in Argentina and got my DNI (so did he). So, all in all, a very good year! Let's hope 2015 is better, but this time without the expat drama. And OMG they are so good with the drama! Happy New Year to all!

 

[nkotb]

GMXam - you're really nice and helpful. I'm sure that makes things easier when it comes to making and maintaining new friends.

 

[garryl]

Congratulations on your marriage and getting your DNIs, cruizes. However, what a bummer about the expats you've met. We've been here over a year (my boyfriend and I), and since hosting coffee chats at an average of twice a week over the course of a year we've met far more expat friends than expat weirdos and drama queens. They're out there for sure, but thankfully the 7 we've met were outnumbered by the 35 expats we now have as friends from the many who've attended coffee chats.

The challenge we've come across with expats here in BA: many don't stick around very long. Some are here for a temporary amount of time (3-6 months). For others, intentions are there, but this place is hard to live in if you make pesos, if you want the creature comforts from your previous country, if you don't know Spanish and are a people person, or if you don't adapt well or quickly. Of those 35 expat friends, 17 have left the country, 2 leave next month, and one leaves Wednesday.

Although I feel like we're saying goodbye to at least one person a month, I'm truly glad to have met so many awesome people, shared experiences over a meal, checked out places we've never seen with people we can speak with in our native language, and celebrated various occasions/holidays/birthdays with people we've grown to love and call our family.

I think the main difference in our experiences lies in the investment. I invest 3-6 hours per week in meeting new people, putting myself out there, giving chance a chance, BUT I am only investing time and effort to meet people for those hours. I save the cooking or the going out to cool places for my friends.

My rate is at about 7% when it comes to meeting expat weirdos and expat drama queens, as I'm pretty sure I've met close to if not more than a hundred people in the last year through coffee chats alone. Not too bad in my opinion. Don't give up on the expats. PM me some time or come to coffee chat. I promise, we're not all drama...some of us are satisfied with reading this forum for that.

Side note: We also have Argentine friends we've met through business or friends who've also become our friends, but it helps that we know Spanish to be able to grow and sustain those relationships.

Thank you for making such a great effort for the expat community. My experience is just like yours, met a lot more nicer people than weirdos, even weirdos can be pleasant when he/she has couple of drinks, and feels he/she is facing a nice person. Sometimes, it really depends on how you treat other people.

 

[GMXam]

GMXam - you're really nice and helpful. I'm sure that makes things easier when it comes to making and maintaining new friends.

Thanks, nkotb.

Thank you for making such a great effort for the expat community. My experience is just like yours, met a lot more nicer people than weirdos, even weirdos can be pleasant when he/she has couple of drinks, and feels he/she is facing a nice person. Sometimes, it really depends on how you treat other people.

Thanks, garryl. You guys may be right.

And, thanks to all those (including the weirdos and drama queens) for coming to coffee chat

 

[Girino]

I have been here 8 months and I have made only a couple of friends.
Partially it is because both me and my husband work at home, partially because the English speaking expat community is the only one out there (there is no Italian expat community, AFAIK).
Language is quite a barrier most of the time (either English or Spanish), but it depends also on the other person(s). If they are really curious and interested and somewhat you click with them, then speaking with them in EN/ES - even if not perfectly or with a vocabulary of a 10 years old - can be pleasant/entertaining.

Anyway I am happy with the progress I am doing with the languages and with the people I met so far. Back at home, I had plenty of people I was able to talk with in my native language, but very little to talk about. At least the people I am meeting here have something in common with me that my friends back home never had and never will!

 

[RodalfoWalsh]

Cruizes - meeting crazy expats is all part of the fun. You just have to laugh about it and be thankful you'll have a good story to tell. I'm convinced a majority of expats are here because they couldn't manage life in their home countries.

Serafina - Is English really a language barrier for you? You write better than a lot of the native speakers on this forum.

 

[Girino]

Serafina - Is English really a language barrier for you? You write better than a lot of the native speakers on this forum.

I write and read it with no problem, but I have very little experience in active speaking/listening. I have always had Italian teachers of English, with weird ideas and pronunciations!
For example my first English teacher told me that Mrs. derived from "mistress" and I kept saying "mistress" (Mrs. Johnson > mistress Johnson) until a Californian teacher told me to stop calling her a whore. My first teacher also taught us that "I" could be also written as a sort of curly mark, similar to the bass clef - I am not able to corroborate this even in 2015! Maybe it was a Shakespeare thing?

 

[nkotb]

Serafina: the cursive I is correct.