This Is A Song...

[pauper]

I'd lke to dedicate this last song to Benny Hana of Alto Palermo, a much loved friend of many here who is no longer with us. This is a song called 'Never Put Your Balls in Someone Else's Drawers' or 'We've seen the sights, sampled the delights, danced all night and lost a few socks along the way but as with everything in life, you go the full circle and you end up back in the laundry' Thankyou very much everyone for coming on down and doin' it for Joe, drive safely, you've been a wonderful audience, goodnight.

(music: Velvet Underground)

And what costume shall Santiago wear
When Joe auctions his britches?
A hand-me-down dress from who knows where
Even though the hemline itches
And where will he go, and what shall he do
When midnight comes around?
He'll turn once more to Monday's clown and cry behind the door

And what costume shall Santiago wear
When Joe auctions his stetson?
Would a frilly bonnet from a generous maid
Make him any less Texan?
And what will Joe do with the duffle bags
When Monday comes around?
He'll write a note for the homeless guy, and throw them out the door

And what costume shall Santiago wear
To all the poker tourneys?
For Thursday's child is Monday's clown
For whom none will go mourning

A hessian sack
A barrel with straps
Of rags and silks, a costume
Fit for one who sits and cries
For all tomorrow's tourneys

 

[Joe]

I don't know how to do a proper song introduction like Pauper ... I just lay down the tracks. I am the piano man. I call this song, "One Night in Punta del Este":


[background=transparent]Punta del Este, Estado Oriental[/background]
[background=transparent]And the city don't know what the city is getting[/background]
[background=transparent]The creme de la creme of the poker world[/background]
[background=transparent]In a show with everything but Cruz Montiel[/background]

[background=transparent]Time flies, doesn't seem a minute[/background]
[background=transparent]Since the Madero Casino had the poker boys in it[/background]
[background=transparent]All change, don't you know that when you[/background]
[background=transparent]Play at this level, there's no ordinary venue[/background]

[background=transparent]It's Conrad, Texas or Atlantic City[/background]
[background=transparent]Or Playa de Carmen or, or this place[/background]
[background=transparent]One night in Punta del Este and the world's your oyster[/background]
[background=transparent]The bars are temples but the pearls ain't free[/background]

[background=transparent]You'll find a God in every Inside Straight[/background]
[background=transparent]And if you're lucky then the God's a she[/background]
[background=transparent]I can feel an ace sliding up to me[/background]
[background=transparent]One hand's very like another[/background]

[background=transparent]When your head's down over your cards, Brother[/background]
[background=transparent]It's a drag, it's a bore, it's really such a pity[/background]
[background=transparent]To be looking at the poker table, not looking at the city[/background]
[background=transparent]Whaddya mean?[/background]

[background=transparent]Ya seen one crowded, polluted, stinking town[/background]
[background=transparent]Cocktail girls, warm and sweet, warm, sweet[/background]
[background=transparent]Some are set up in the Conrad's Somerset Maugham Suite[/background]
[background=transparent]"BrokerStars", you're talking to a tourist[/background]

[background=transparent]Whose every move's among the purest[/background]
[background=transparent]I get my kicks above the waistline, sunshine[/background]
[background=transparent]One night in Punta del Este makes a hard man humble[/background]
[background=transparent]Not much between despair and ecstasy[/background]

[background=transparent]One night in Punta del Este and the tough guys tumble[/background]
[background=transparent]Can't be too careful with your company[/background]
[background=transparent]I can feel the Devil walking next to me[/background]
[background=transparent]Santiago Vera's gonna be the witness[/background]

[background=transparent]To the ultimate test of cerebral fitness[/background]
[background=transparent]This grips me more than would[/background]
[background=transparent]A greasy old Chivito or a Expat Hacienda[/background]
[background=transparent]But thank God, I'm only watching the game, controlling it[/background]

[background=transparent]I don't see you guys rating[/background]
[background=transparent]The kind of winning hand I'm contemplating[/background]
[background=transparent]I'd let you watch, I would invite you[/background]
[background=transparent]But the Queens we use would not excite you[/background]

[background=transparent]So you better go back to your bars, your boliches[/background]
[background=transparent]Your massage parlors[/background]
[background=transparent]One night in Punta del Este and the world's your oyster[/background]
[background=transparent]The bars are temples but the Fugazzeta ain't free[/background]

[background=transparent]You'll find a God in every Inside Straight[/background]
[background=transparent]A little flesh, a little fantasy[/background]
[background=transparent]I can feel a Royal Flush slidin' up to me[/background]
[background=transparent]One night in Punta del Este makes a hard man humble[/background]

[background=transparent]Not much between despair and ecstasy[/background]
[background=transparent]One night in Punta del Este and the tough guys tumble[/background]
[background=transparent]Can't be too careful with your company[/background]
[background=transparent]I can feel the Devil and Pauper walking next to me[/background]

 

[Matt84]

[background=transparent]One night in Punta del Este and the world's your oyster[/background]
[background=transparent]The bars are temples but the pearls ain't free[/background]

Au fond du temple saint...

 

[pauper]

This song is about ordering Turkish coffee in an Armenian restaurant and then explaining that you're Jewish by way of apology. I'd like to dedicate this song to affectionate goats everywhere. This is a song called 'The Hugs Don't Work' or 'Waiter, is that scapegoat in my chivito?'

Hey! Mr. gamblin Man, pay what you owe to me
I’m not angry but there is no way I’m gonna lose
Hey! Mr. gamblin Man, pay what you owe to me
If I hear nothin' by the morning I’ll come lookin’ for you

Though I know my dollar empire is in Oriental lands
Vanished from my hands
Left me blindly here to stand but still not weeping
My cheeriness amazes me, I’ve been swindled off my feet
I have no fugazzeta to eat
And on scruffy Florida street 'cambio!' is what they're screaming

Hey! Mr. gamblin Man, pay what you owe to me
I’m not angry but there is no way I’m gettin' screwed
Hey! Mr. gamblin Man, pay what you owe to me
If I hear nothin' by the morning I’ll come lookin’ for you

Take me 'cross the river on that magic swirlin’ ship
All my dollars have been stripped, by a Texan and AFIP
a manhunt is my next step
I wait only for your boot heels to be wanderin’
I’m ready to go anywhere, I’m ready for a trade
your cowboy boots of suede, for the pledge that you made
I promise you will honour it

Hey! Mr. gamblin Man, pay what you owe to me
I’m not angry but I am quite tired of bein' used
Hey! Mr. gamblin Man, pay what you owe to me
If I hear nothin' by the morning I’ll come lookin’ for you

Though you might hear airplane noises outside your hotel room so sparse
It’s not meant to be a farce, it’s GS_Dirtboy on your arse
And then from the sky the hellfire will come a tracin’
And if you hear vague traces of Baudelairean rhyme
To your shufflin' in time, it’s just a French sleuth behind
Investigating a crime
It’s all those dollars your hidin' that he’s chasin'

Hey! Mr. gamblin Man, pay what you owe to me
I’m not angry but if have been known to blow a fuse
Hey! Mr. gamblin Man, pay what you owe to me
If I hear nothin' by the morning I’ll come lookin’ for you

Then take me to Conrad Hotel away from this daily grind
where the chivito is not a crime, greenbacks I will receive
from that haunted, frightened thief, out by that windy beach
Far from the twisted reach of Argie sorrow
Yes, to dance beneath that diamond sky where foreign trade is free
Silhouetted by the sea, circled by the circus sands
Release all thoughts of misdemeanour, of industria argentina
Let me forget about today until tomorrow

Hey! Mr. gamblin Man, pay what you owe to me
I’m not angry but there is no way I’m gonna lose
Hey! Mr. gamblin Man, pay what you owe to me
If I hear nothin' by the morning I’ll come lookin’ for you

 

[pauper]

This is a song called "Insolvency abuse" or "One Click Apple U2 Album Removal Tool" I'd like to dedicate this to any Samoan attorneys out there.

Expat poller to Major Con
Expat poller to Major Con
Harden the f#(k up
and sell a lung

Expat poller to Major Con
Commencing countdown,
website on
Check javascript
and may God's mercy be with you

[spoken]
Ten, Nine, Eight, Seven, Six, Five, Four, Three, Two, One, Liftoff

This is Expat Poller
to Major Con
You still haven't paid
And the expats want to buy the shirts you wear
Now it's time to leave the casino
if you dare

This is Major Con to Expat Poller
I'm eating a chivito
And I'm feeling
in a most peculiar way
And the stars look very different today

For here
Am I eating from a trash can
Far below rock bottom
Joe wants his dollars blue
And there's nothing I can do

Oh I've lost
a friend and a thousand bucks
I'm feeling very ill
And I think deep down I know which way I'll go
Tell International Gal I love her much, she knows

Expat Poller to Major Con
You're morally bankrupt,
there's something wrong
Can you hear me, Major Con?
Can you hear me, Major Con?
Can you hear me, Major Con?
Can you....

Here am I sitting
next to Satan
Far below the Earth
Joe wants his dollars blue
And there's nothing I can do.

 

[pauper]

This Haiku is brought to you by the letters I and G, the number 1000 and the umlaut.

lone star in the crowd
the only card he needs is
get out of jail free

 

[pauper]

This song is about a terrifying descent into unreality. I'd like to dedicate this song to Iceland. This is a song called 'Cattle Ranch' or 'I am the Spleen'.
(music: L. Cohen)

Well I grew up on a cattle ranch
before Joe did expat polls;
when I was not this swindler that you see,
I slept beneath those lone star skies.
You who wish to conquer shame,
you must learn to follow my lead
They bump into me by accident
as they pine for their dollar blue.
The expat in whom you put your faith
is neither honest nor true;
he does not ask for your approval,
at the casino, the centre of his world.

When I am on a winning streak,
your dollars are mine to blow.
Your laws do not compel me
to repay to you what I owe.
That green paper is the sole reason
for the monstrous bridge you wish to build

You who wish to conquer shame,
you must learn what makes me lie;
the crumbs of grace that you offer me,
they're the crumbs I've left behind.
INDEC has no credentials here,
it's just the portent, of a Stalinist regime.

I have begun to play D & D,
I who have no green;
I am a Drow Bard with high CHA,
I like to eat sweet spleen.
You say I've turned away from reality,
but I've heard the truth the DM speaks.

You wish to auction those clothes of mine,
You feel that you were conned;
You don't chase me quite so fiercely now
that I wave this faerie fire wand
it is your turn, roll the dice,
it is +2 chainmail that I wear.

 

[Dublin2BuenosAires]

the paco is strong with this one

 

[pauper]

the paco is strong with this one

Sorry, did you say strong paco?
Could you PM me?

 

[khairyexpat]

It´s hard to believe.

It really is incomprehensible.

Aside from the meaningless verbal ... , we all waited for some compelling misunderstanding, OR some act of God disaster beyond human control, OR I had trouble with Joe before and this is my way of paying him back? OR ... OR ....

Nothing ! Not a boo !

I take your money, I acknowledge I took your money, I acknowledge it does not belong to me, and on purpose willingly consciously, no remorse, no forgive me, no explanation. Straight in your face !

At least, an apology .. ¨I´m sorry, please forgive me Joe , I´m in trouble I can´t pay you back¨ might help you soften some hearts of so many how are so mad at you. Just to show you´re still human. We all make mistakes.

Nothing ! ... This is it. .... That is all there is after so many months.

No conscious !

How could this be? Never heard of any thing even remotely resemble anything like this. Never in my whole life. Never.

O U T R A G E O U S !!!!! it really is awful.

Joe:
I´m really really sorry that you had to endure this stinking ¨ingrata¨ experience, for all this time.
Just the way you were treated, you deserve a lot more better than this.
Don´t let it affect you or change you.
We are all foreigners in a strange land.
On top of dealing with everyday lunacy here, that was the least to expect from one of us.
Go on, chuck it for a stinking encounter !

I don´t think he will ever redeem himself., ... even if he returns back your money ....