What Would Be The Final Straw?

[ajoknoblauch]

Since I predict an even worse economy in the only other country where I could live and work legally, and I already have my own pasture in Argentina, the final "nail in the coffin" for me will be the actual need for a final nail in the coffin.

You won't go back to North Korea?

 

[Redpossum]

Ayn is usually far windier.

Yes, but I'm giving him the Che Guevara Secret Communist Revolutionary People's Commissar Propaganda Training Course, and soon he will be able to eat your lunch in any internet argument. Be afraid. Be very afraid, you capitalist imperialist colonialist counter-revolutionary running dog

Oh god, I'm laughing too hard to go on. Why is self-satire so hysterically amusing?

 

[ajoknoblauch]

Yes, but I'm giving him the Che Guevara Secret Communist Revolutionary People's Commissar Propaganda Training Course, and soon he will be able to eat your lunch in any internet argument. Be afraid. Be very afraid, you capitalist imperialist colonialist counter-revolutionary running dog

Oh god, I'm laughing too hard to go on. Why is self-satire so hysterically amusing?

Ayn and her evangelists are nothing more than paper tigers.

 

[toongeorges]

what would be the final nail in the coffin?

For me it was the reaction of my former Porteña girlfriend to the death of my grandfather (September 19th). I said I wanted to go to the funeral and stay with my family for a month. She did not have holidays, so she decided to intimidate and insult me. She said I was selfish (because of leaving her alone), we would kill each other and if I would ignore her rage, she would call the cops and tell them a story to throw me on the street.

I did as little as I could that night to provoke her, but the next day when she was out to work, I took all my stuff and went to a hotel. When we met after her work in a pub for me to give her the keys of the apartment, she did not understand and was crying all the time. When I met with her the day before I left to give her my remaining pesos, she was crying all the time and said she would not be able to handle the situation. Though she asked me if I would send her a message when I arrived home and that we would call to see I am fine. We had a Skype call and she started accusing me again and I was tired of it and hung up. I sent her an email I did not approve of her behaviour. I got a reply back I sounded aggressive and she did not want to talk to me anymore.

I think she has a psychological condition. I will not elaborate about it here. I have had a lot of experiences, good and bad, though in the end I decided I wanted a peaceful life, not one that is filled with meaningless drama. At this moment, I am rebuilding my stable life at home. I am thinking about returning to Buenos Aires some day, though it will not be permanently and it will not be immediately.

 

[Redpossum]

Jesus, it's like wall-to-wall horror stories about Argentine women in here.

Quick, somebody say something positive, I'm starting to get scared. One of you guys who married an Argentine woman, quick, tell me how blissfully happy your marriage has been.

http://youtu.be/fW8EjNktwZU

 

[DontMindMe]

I recognize myself in your post. Even in the safest areas of my native country, I am still neurotic when it comes to safety. When looking for a new appartment a few months ago, I was doing an insane security check and only after 30 mins of looking at even the smallest details and possible weaknesses I finally asked myself: ''A bit of caution is very useful indeed, but what the heck am I doing?''. On another occasion, I suddenly asked someone an awkward and somewhat confused question about a possible roof people might climb on, and I had to explain myself by referring to my ''Latin American experience''.

I will say that one of the benefits of moving so much for me has been being able to switch to different safety "modes" with no problem. But I was like you at first. I left BA after a two-year stint (I'm an in-and-outer, I guess) and spent a few months in the U.S. It was a bit of a nightmare for a while there. I felt paranoid all the time and jumped at any sudden noise. I didn't feel safe in my parents' town house because all they had was a fence with a gate that I viewed as easy scaleable and their front door had glass panes. I made a drive-through cash deposit at Chase bank one day and was craning my neck to watch the girl working to make sure she didn't pocket any cash. That was when I really realized that something was wrong. I thought all this was odd, because again, I've never even been pick pocketed much less robbed or assaulted. It wore off eventually, but it did take some time and effort.

Once in Europe I backtracked in my progress a bit. New environment, old fears resurfacing. I tested myself by wearing my iPod (I do have one of those, haha) and walking around. The first time I did it my heart was pounding, but I quickly realized that the city I was in was very safe and the only crime I needed to worry about was bag snatching and pickpocketing in crowded or touristy areas. No one stole my five-year-old iPod. I still have it. Since then, I've been fine, and whenever I'm visiting home I can now immediately relax.

My husband has always said he'd like to live in a house one day. He's spent his whole life living in buildings, because buildings are safer than houses. I used to imagine being quite content living in some nice building with a doorman. It seemed glamorous to me, somehow. Now? I dream of living in a house, too.

 

[mmoon]

I had the same experience when I first returned to the US...how could I possibly have lived in a place with glass panes in the front door (and no bars), surrounded by flimsy fences and tons of places to hide? Answering my cell phone on the street was the strangest thing, and I realized I hadn't used a purse without a cross body strap in ages. When we first moved to BA, we thought we would try and find a small house with a little garden in one of the outer city neighborhoods, but it just didn't feel safe. Instead, we ended up in a box on the 9th floor of a generic building with cameras everywhere and 24-hour doormen. I did feel safer there, and I loved the neighborhood (Belgrano R), but I never got used to living with that constant stress of being robbed. I got pick pocketed once back in 2004 because I was strolling around being a space cadet, but that didn't haunt me like all the stories I've heard of people being thrown down in the street for their watches, purses, etc., or being accosted in their homes and locked in rooms while their houses were ransacked. I'm not a fearful person generally, and I used to dismiss many of those stories until they became far too common to ignore. Still, I always took the train in BA and walked around solo at night (which still feels safer in BA than in the US). Of course these things happen everywhere, but I know far too many people with nightmare experiences in BA. I know I'll always come back to BA and Argentina because I love many things about it, but I can't do it full time and forever.

 

[Jaredberryman]

Jesus, it's like wall-to-wall horror stories about Argentine women in here.

Quick, somebody say something positive, I'm starting to get scared. One of you guys who married an Argentine woman, quick, tell me how blissfully happy your marriage has been.

There are crazy females here, true. But that is not always the case by a long shot. I met a great woman here who is beautiful, takes care of our family and me, and is a great lifelong partner. She is also a blast and there is never a dull moment. Sure, like most Argentines, she is a very emotional and often sentimental person. But I am not so much, so why in the heck would I want to marry someone just like me? You can meet people who are not good for relationships anywhere in the world. I highly doubt that this country is really all that different from any other. It's just hard to make a cross-cultural marriage or relationship work, period.

Sometimes the women here can have a funny or dysfucunctional way of expressing their emotions, though. There's sort of a code that you have to learn of what she really means by her actions. This is just an observation, and everyone is different, but I noticed that some women here can have strong emotional reactions and get carried away in the heat of the moment. They don't know what to do with it, so they might say or do something which seems extreme. But they don't really mean it in a bad way, they just don't know how to express their emotional angst. So, if you have a partner from here, be aware when it happens and take note. Don't get caught up and just realize it's a moment that will pass. Ignore it. And I'm not just talking about a girlfriend or spouse, but any female friend or family member. Just pat them on the back, stay calm, and listen. Then move on and later, and when she is calm, she will have a more rational conversation with you.

 

[Redpossum]

Tex, thank you very much! That makes good sense, and is quite reassuring. Thanks also to all of you who validated Tex's post by Liking it, that also helps.

Although I've never been married, I have had five long term (two years+) live-in girlfriends over the years, and I'm no stranger to being screamed at. I know what you mean, and I can handle that, accepting that it comes with the territory

 

[ajoknoblauch]

I've been married to an Argentine for more than 30 years and, while there have been ups and downs, it's been an overall rewarding experience.