Dating In Argentina / Dating Argentine Men

[jamila]

I don't think a man going to a pro is super manly its pretty sad and I genuinely don't think for one second all argentine men are the same... And anyway how has a thread on dating turned into a debate on prostitution..... ?????

My thoughts exactly... and my 2nd thought was... how does everyone know so much about it

 

[jamila]

There are not only young Argentinian guys hitting on older Western women. You also see creepy old Argentinians (who may not even be able to dance) trying to hit on younger women. Sometimes Western women are a bit naive and there are these embarrassing situations were everyone in the milonga sees they are dancing with a creepy guy.

I see this all the time.. I don't think they are naive as much as i think these women don't know how to or feel uncomfortable saying no.

 

[jamila]

I think the bottom line here is that when men enter the women's forum, they destroy dreams...

MAYBE that's where things went wrong... I had to double check.. I did post this in the women's forum for a reason.

 

[nlaruccia]

It's interesting that we're on the subject of dating Argentines because I'm interested in the opinions of expats and Argentines alike. I was having dinner with three Argentine male friends and one female Argentine friend the other night. All in the early fifties and one, who is my ex, is an extremely good man and always faithful in his relationships. Actually, all four of these friends are some of the most incredible, generous and good human beings I've ever met, but all are human. One who lives in Spain now has been married for thirty years and at one point he had an affair and moved out and when he went back to his wife she admitted to having a one night stand right after they married thirty years earlier. Long story short, they both went to therapy and their marriage is better than ever. One of them is a disaster when it comes to dating. He doesn't like women that like him. In other words he loses interest quickly, and has a lot of female friends including gatos, but I know for a fact that they're only friends. What my female friend said that caused me to write and ask for male advice is the following. She's been dating her current boyfriend for almost a year and they've become really close. He just divorced his wife of fifteen years and he actually admitted he is a "mujeriego". He said he cheated on his wife because she was depressed throughout the marriage and completely let herself go. Now my friend doesn't know what to think about him. Keep dating him or separate from him? Why would a man admit to being a cheater? What would his motive be? She's completely confused and none of my Argentine friends could understand why or how admitting that you've had an affair could help or benefit the new relationship. It could only generate mistrust, paranoia and pain.

 

[Vagrant Violet]

I've probably mentioned in at least a dozen threads about my Argentine husband, who I met a little over three years ago. We are expecting our first baby, a little boy, in April.

While I agree that there are a lot of sketchy, chauvinistic, commitment-phobic, mind-game playing, two-timing, emotionally f*ck-witted, sleazy men here (and there ARE!), the relationship that I have and have always had with my husband helps me to look beyond all the crazy drama from men in general and be less jaded a person. I don't mean to sound totally cliche, but having by far the best and most meaningful relationship of my entire life with a man from this culture and know that the ever popular exp<b></b>ression, "hay de todo," is so true.

It's extremely easy as a foreign woman to lose faith in a legit and stable relationship with a local, but seriously, all it takes is one worthwhile experience, whether lasting or not, to understand that there are, indeed, decent people here (as there are all over the word), and it's sometimes a combination of an open mind, wisdom from past experiences/mistakes, luck, and being in the right place at the right time.

Despite some incredibly horrific experiences that I've had with the men here, it was all worth it. I suppose that as a result, I am more appreciative for the luxury of such a healthy relationship.

In a nutshell, have an open mind, don't ever feel the need to settle or compromise what you value in a relationship, "wipe the slate clean" for each new person that you encounter, and (another cliche, sorry, but I find it so true) believe that there is a lid for every pot.

 

[Joe]

. She's been dating her current boyfriend for almost a year and they've become really close. He just divorced his wife of fifteen years and he actually admitted he is a "mujeriego". He said he cheated on his wife because she was depressed throughout the marriage and completely let herself go. Now my friend doesn't know what to think about him. Keep dating him or separate from him? Why would a man admit to being a cheater? What would his motive be? She's completely confused and none of my Argentine friends could understand why or how admitting that you've had an affair could help or benefit the new relationship. It could only generate mistrust, paranoia and pain.

The motive would be: to be honest. Even mujeriegos have guilt feelings - they are philanderers not sociopaths. If he can find a woman that will accept him for what he is, he can be free to live life without guilt, in an honest and open relationship.

 

[nlaruccia]

The motive would be: to be honest. Even mujeriegos have guilt feelings - they are philanderers not sociopaths. If he can find a woman that will accept him for what he is, he can be free to live life without guilt, in an honest and open relationship.

But why be honest about it? It's only something that will create problems in the future. If the boyfriend is planning on being faithful from now on, why tell her he was once unfaithful except to selfishly appease his guilt and make her feel paranoid afterward? Can we honestly say that we admit every detail of our history our current parents? Is it necessary for them to know everything? It gives me something to think about.

 

[Joe]

But why be honest about it? It's only something that will create problems in the future. If the boyfriend is planning on being faithful from now on, why tell her he was once unfaithful except to selfishly appease his guilt and make her feel paranoid afterward? Can we honestly say that we admit every detail of our history our current parents? Is it necessary for them to know everything? It gives me something to think about.

Why be honest? Because a relationship should be based on honesty.

...

I didn't see where the post said the boyfriend is planning on being faithful from now on. Is that an assumption? Maybe based on wishful thinking?

Ethnocentrism? One problem North Americans have is their Puritanical Heritage which isn't shared by Europeans and especially not Portenos. For example a French politician might have a mistress and several children by her and still hold office which would be inconceivable in the USA.

 

[nlaruccia]

Ethnocentrism? One problem North Americans have is their Puritanical Heritage which isn't shared by Europeans and especially not Portenos. For example a French politician might have a mistress and several children by her and still hold office which would be inconceivable in the USA.

The female friend, with the boyfriend who admitted to being a mujeriego, is Argentine but still shares the "puritanical" views that he should be faithful. I'm more open minded and realistic than she is and just hope that she doesn't end up getting hurt due to having false expectations.

 

[Davidglen77]

Personally I prefer to be in relationships that are monogamous and faithful. I am realistic though and know that is very unlikely here. The problem with Argentine men are they will talk about everybody elses problems and issues, but they never address their own issues or demons. They also have a hard time being very honest in general and are prone to unexpected mood swings and depression.
It's general rule here to wait until a problem is very serious to then deal with an issue, instead of working to prevent the problem or dealing with it when it's just beginning, and that same thing carries over to relationships. A good analogy for this is the smoke detector and fire extinguisher issue. In the USA, people have smoke detectors, fire drills, doors don't lock from the inside with keys usually, to plan and prevent fires or keep injuries to a minimum - here in Argentina smoke detectors are non-existant, nobody ever heard of a fire drill and doors lock from the inside with a key - however there are fire extinguishers everywhere - so in Argentina they prefer to wait for the raging flames and thick smoke and fight them back with a fire extinguisher when there is already a huge fire, while in the USA we are alerted by the smoke detectors when the problem just starts, know the escape route, and can easily open the door to get out. Here if you don't have the key you are pretty much cooked if the fire extinguishers run out and you don't find the key - see what I mean??