Dating In Argentina / Dating Argentine Men

[nlaruccia]

You really can't compare your life partner to a pair of shoes

I'm not talking about comparing your life partner to a pair of shoes. What I mean is that men's desire and need and motive for cheating is different than a woman's. I was comparing that "need" to a woman's desire to buy that gorgeous pair of Manolo Blahnik. In other words, a man desiring another woman or a one night stand possibly means nothing more to him than a woman's need for another pair of shoes or a purse. It's rather meaningless. The wife won't consider it to be insignificant, but one thing is a man having sex with another woman for pure desire and another thing is him having a extra marital affair and falling-in-love with another woman. I'm not condoning nor supporting that behavior. Is it fair to demand that your husband or boyfriend remain monogamous? Is it fair to ask her? I don't know, it all depends on the individual. I noticed that several people have posted they know of happy open relationship couples, but all happen to be homosexual.

 

[citygirl]

I'm not talking about comparing your life partner to a pair of shoes. What I mean is that men's desire and need and motive for cheating is different than a woman's. I was comparing that "need" to a woman's desire to buy that gorgeous pair of Manolo Blahnik. In other words, a man desiring another woman or a one night stand possibly means nothing more to him than a woman's need for another pair of shoes or a purse. It's rather meaningless. The wife won't consider it to be insignificant, but one thing is a man having sex with another woman for pure desire and another thing is him having a extra marital affair and falling-in-love with another woman. I'm not condoning nor supporting that behavior. Is it fair to demand that your husband or boyfriend remain monogamous? Is it fair to ask her? I don't know, it all depends on the individual. I noticed that several people have posted they know of happy open relationship couples, but all happen to be homosexual.

Sorry - I find that absurd. A man doesn't have the "need" to cheat any more than a woman does. It's BS in my opinion and a giant excuse. If both parties want fidelity, they agree to it and move forward. Any man or woman who breaks that promise does so because they are weak and place no value in their word, not because of biological necessity.

As for the rest, I posted about the open relationships. Most I know happen to be homosexual but I do know of 2 heterosexual couples who go that route (although neither here in Argentina).

 

[nlaruccia]

I would be interested to hear a "man's" opinion about men.

 

[nikad]

I would be interested to hear a "man's" opinion about men.

They cover their backs, lol

 

[sleslie23]

I think cheating, at least for men, is culturally more acceptable here than in the US. Take Clinton's affair with Monica Lewenski, for example. It was a big scandal in the US, but something that is tolerated (perhaps even expected) in other societies.

Personally, I don't believe in the biological need to cheat on your partner, any more than there is a biological need to drink, for example. Sure someone may feel the addictive or compulsive impulse to do so, but I would consider that to be more of a psychological issue rather than some biological predisposition towards infidelity. I personally, have never cheated on any girlfriend and wouldn't even consider it, for a variety of reasons. However, I have a couple of married friends that can't think of anything else. In both cases, they have "issues" in their past (unfaithful fathers) and also seem to feel the need to prove their masculinity (both were quite promiscuous before getting married). I think in many cases it really just comes down to EGO.

Anyway, that's one man's opinion. Take it for what it's worth.

 

[Joe]

There have been numerous scientific studies in primates and mammals showing that their is a biological component to male promiscuity. Also females selling sex for bananas has been observed in chimpanzees. It would be really naive to believe that these behaviors that are seen across all cultures would not be biologically based. There was also a show on TV a while back that interviewed men who emphatically said that they were faithful and monogamous and then put them in a car with a sexy woman and a hidden camera - and well the results were not surprising - well not to me. Women are less likely to be promiscuous because natural selection has favored woman that seek a monogamous, stable relationship in order to benefit the raising of her genetic children through the assistance of a male.

Monogamy is a socially desirable behavior in terms of child rearing. Society attempts to enforce monogamy with laws against adultery to combat the countervailing biological desires - stoning to death is still used as a punishment against adultery.

When societies break down these prohibitions fail as we see for example in American inter-cities.

Many women and man clearly feel the need to believe that promiscuous behaviour is unnatural. This failure to accept natural human behaviour is the cause of many unhappy relationships.

 

[sleslie23]

It would be really naive to believe that these behaviors that are seen across all cultures would not be biologically based.

I didn't mean to imply that there is no biological aspect of the urge to have sex. That's sort of obvious, no? But there is no aspect of human behavior that has a purely biological component or is purely influenced by biology (unless you want to discuss pathological cases).

I agree with what you say about monogamy being partially a social construct. But you could also say the same thing about the desire to have sex with multiple partners. Sure, you can argue that there is a biological aspect at play (the desire to spread your seed as far and as wide as possible), but I would argue that there is often a much stronger social aspect involved. Many men in many cultures see it as a sign of masculine prowess and status to bed (or at least brag about bedding) as many females as possible. As I said in my original post this is the result of ego, with a strong influence from society, and is much more complex than just saying "my testicles made me do it."

Also, Joe, as I'm sure you know, using studies from the animal kingdom to make statements about human behavior at best is only a useful analogy. It doesn't prove anything and it's almost always possible to find a counter example.

 

[Nounou]

Hold on folks, I'm not so sure that Argentine men have the monopoly on extra curricular activities, go to any country and you can find men who will stray, and women too for that matter. If they are in a relationship and the significant other finds out, well I guess there will be trouble. If they are single, well does anyone really care? More importantly is it anyone's business?

Cultural differences will always exist, and then of course you have the age old differences between male and female perceptions on committmnt and fidelity. But doesn't that make the world a more facinating place, in my opinion it does. Look, simply put if it feels right go with the flow, alternatively to quote the late Princess of Wales, Diana, "there were three people in this marriage, so it was a bit crowded" there is recourse. Ultimately the decision lies with the individual.

I have to admitt reading through this thread I'm starting to feel rather sorry for Argentine men, and I'm a 'realist feminist' !! lol. You guys need to start a Union! :lol: . I'm also blown away by the fact that no lawyer has ventured in so far to offer his or her services Editied too add that it is good to see that some of you have warm and thriving relationships with your significant other.

 

[nlaruccia]

There have been numerous scientific studies in primates and mammals showing that their is a biological component to male promiscuity. Also females selling sex for bananas has been observed in chimpanzees. It would be really naive to believe that these behaviors that are seen across all cultures would not be biologically based. There was also a show on TV a while back that interviewed men who emphatically said that they were faithful and monogamous and then put them in a car with a sexy woman and a hidden camera - and well the results were not surprising - well not to me. Women are less likely to be promiscuous because natural selection has favored woman that seek a monogamous, stable relationship in order to benefit the raising of her genetic children through the assistance of a male.

Monogamy is a socially desirable behavior in terms of child rearing. Society attempts to enforce monogamy with laws against adultery to combat the countervailing biological desires - stoning to death is still used as a punishment against adultery.

When societies break down these prohibitions fail as we see for example in American inter-cities.

Many women and man clearly feel the need to believe that promiscuous behaviour is unnatural. This failure to accept natural human behaviour is the cause of many unhappy relationships.

I completely agree. I'm monogamous by choice, but I don't think it should necessarily be forced on someone else or that they should feel like it's a "sin" or "immorally wrong" or "abnormal" to want to be polygamous. I'm not convinced monogamy is a natural state for human beings.

 

[Joe]

Another example of the innate promiscuous behavior of men is the use of pornography. Did men only buy one Playboy magazine and idolize one of the woman or did they get a subscription and look forward to each new edition: seeking stimulation by viewing a NEW female. Everyone knows that pornography is used by a much greater percentage of males, including homosexuals, than females.

How many relationships have been harmed/destroyed by some men's addiction to pornography? With the advent of the internet and literally millions of woman for heterosexuals and millions of men for homosexuals available to view online this problem is only going to get worse.

Only when we begin to accept basic human behavior can we begin to find solutions to the problems that are steadily on the rise: divorces, child abuse, single parenting, etc.