Dating in BA

[allcraz]

To give hope to those who might read this and still believe that Argie men are scum, I wanted to add (without gushing) that I have been with my Argentine boyfriend for a year here in BsAs. But I will say that I met some that fit this flitting "Latin Lover" stereotype before meeting my "principe azul." I will reiterate as some of you already have, that there is no city or province or state or country full of "perfect" soulmates. Personalities of all types thrive everywhere.

 

[Mitch]

Having dated an argentine guy this summer here in the states, I have to say it was one of the best experiences of my life. It was wonderful to be treated like well, a woman. His manners were old-world & I loved it. He also was much more open about his feelings (for better & for worse I have no desire to date another american guy after this.
I have to say, I can't imagine why people don't enjoy it more. And on the concept of fidelity - well, I think it's ridiculous to make sweeping generalizations about fidelity or lack there of it. I think it's a case by case situation.

Talk about sweeping generalazations! You will never date another American guy, please! Maybe we are light on the sales pitch, but as polite and warm as these people are is as disengenuos, dishonest and disloyal as they are. Those qualities are not part of the culture. If you think that's a generalization, then live here another week and report back.

 

[citygirl]

I believe her point was that she had no desire to date an American guy again. Not sure how stating a feeling is a generalization. And your statement that all Argentines are "disengenuos, dishonest and disloyal" is in fact a sweeping generalization.

I've had good, bad & indifferent dating experiences here - same as in the States. Not sure Argentine men are any better/worse than anywhere else....

 

[Mitch]

I have no problem with generalizations, when they are my own. I am glad you said your "not sure" they are better or worse than any other men. Good, you have an open mind that it might not be the case. You will save your self much pain.

Let me explain it this way. I came here 5 years ago a little bored of Americans and proud I was embracing and mingling in another culture. They are a warm, well mannered and welcoming peoiple and far less petty and competitve than the North American species. On the other hand (generally) fair play, honesty and loyalty are not pumped into their brains as it was ours growing up. I choose to live here inspite of their moral shortcomings, as I have a much better weather and lifestyle here than I did in NYC. I have both Argentine friends and Expats.

I dont take polls but I think it's safe to guess there is more than one American man who cheat on their mates. As a statement of fact, in my five years here I have not known an Argentine guy who will not, or does not cheat, they all do plain and simple. If you put stock in a counter theory and date one, prepare to be hurt. If you don't enjoy straying yourself and look foward to a monogomous relationship with the local product, buy a ticket and try your luck eleswhwere.

When I encounter coruption and lies, I generally put it to the Argentine like this. Your children will die in the street as a result of your behavior. Expalined: Drug companies are not anxious to send there latest drugs here, as in other countries they are ripped off into generics. Here too, but more often into sugar tablets/blanks so there stats get skewered. The local executives they pay often gray market and scam their own real product also. The Argentines are used as guinea pigs for drug trials because they have diets like first world people, but are incapable of working together in a class action lawsuit when the experiment does not work out. And if they did get together succesfully to sue, their lawyer would likely be bought off.

This is why when Expats of intelligence who are trying to accomplish things here get together they immediately vent and share there experiences, it helps us cope.

I fully expect to be plucked from the street, drugged and thrown from a helicopter into the Rio Plata for my shortcomings, such as; My underdevelped ability to lie and betray my friends. I accept this fate with no regrets except for the women that live here. As in case you had not picked up on it, I am God's gift to the women of Argentina, including expats

 

[Mitch]

I would have kept to myself if I had known.

 

[Wally]

Thank you Matty and Ramon especially as you are both men! Ramon I loved your analysis. Was thinking today on the bus that people here are nuts too and that I wasn t surprised that everyone I know has a shrink here; Even my boss whom I consider to be wonderful and a sane woman told me over lunch last week that she discusses me with her shrink!!!!!!!!!!!! and that they talk about my wonderful outdoor hobbies and my reason for being in Argentina. It kind of made me very wary about saying anything to her.
Also I forgot to add to my list is that some boys or "nenes" babies as I call them between the tender age of 25 and 40 often tell me they are very Catholic. Ok, no probs but then they hit on me and want to go to my flat so then I tell them that I m surprised because if one is "very" Catholic surely no hanky panky before the wonderful wedding bells start singing? Then they tell me that they don t practise that principle so basically they choose which part of the Bible they want to apply to their already infantile and petty lives. If there is one "sin" that I consider to be the worst then it has to be hypocrisy and there is a lot of that going on here. I ve met a lot of men whom I consider to be unhealthy liars and complete fruitcakes better off locked up in a mental institution BUT somehow still running around freely. I m not concerned about the "Campo" problem I think the portenos themselves are already enough of a threat to any sane and "normal" human being.

Hi!....may be it's too late to make an answer to this thread.. but Durazno..I Think you met the wrong guys...I'm a local guy, born in BA, and yes!, there are a lot of men that fall under the category you say, I also dislike them (I don´t think that behaving like that is being a real man). In my own opinion, the world itself, is going nuts, I mean if you're used to read contemporary philosofers the new role of women in general is in part responsible for this. I see this, like a new thing in BA, maybe in the last 10 years. Some portion of men don't know how to handle this new role of women, and finish reacting like you describe, without knowing what they really want. There are a lot of people in BA that really doesn't know what they really want, and I say it as victim.

I didn't really know that BA has a lot shrinks and psicologyst, but be sure, there are too many people around there that goes to see these kind of professionals and are still not knowing what they want.

My perspective, is simple, keep away from that people and get healthy minded ones...

Un abrazo..

 

[Johny]

I think everyone here is focusing way too much on Argentine men... Of course many of them are jerks... but what about the women? Have you ever thought that maybe the men behave that way because of how the local women are? You people seem to put all the blame on one side. Argentine females are no saints, either... They have their fair share of responsibility in this.

First off, Argentine females are not exactly the friendly type... Anyone who has been here long enough surely knows this. They are in general unfriendly and VERY uptight... And please let's not get into their sexual attitudes, in that realm they are the most repressed I've ever seen...
They NEVER show any interest in men and instead expect us to ALWAYS take the initiative and do all the hard work. And even when we do this, they give us the cold shoulder and treat us like crap. It is this petty behavior that has earned them the infamous 'histerica' reputation. I always get the impression that Argentine women take more pleasure in rejecting men and playing mind games than in actually hooking up or having sex.

I think those who put all the blame on the local men should try to focus on the bigger picture. They are seeing only a small part of it.

 

[jp]

It all depends on how you meet people and what the context is. For obvious reasons you get a better reception if you're introduced as a friend than simply being a stranger trying to get lucky, and a tourist to boot

 

[Isa]

I really dont like generalisations and wonder why people are so keen on categorising nationalities. Especially the north-americans here should be more sensitive about this issue as I am sure some had to face alot of prejudice and stereotyping in the past 8 years. I have been living here since three years and have come across all kinds of men and women and cannot pin down the typical argentine manner or behaviour..the same with other cultures.

 

[maydesantelmo]

I don't know what planet Johny is living on, my experience of Argentine women is the opposite of his.
I think that almost all women here take great care of themselves and are extremely attractive and are inherently sexy/feminine and are very liberated, unlike most North American women who fist conduct an interrogation as to ones wealth, car etc even before they try to get to decide if they like you
I am not God's gift to women, I am not young, gorgeous looking, rich, do not have a car and live in a very moderate apartment, but I have had the most amazing relationships since living here, with very well cultured, self sufficient attractive. I have found that the women are easy converse with (in spite of my atrocious castillano) The only thing that I found difficult to cope with originally was that they appear to be more jealous/possessive than I was accustomed to but I found that really is just almost the same as any other culture, they just tend to be a bit more open about what is going on in their mind.
Argentine women? I love them.
May