let,s cheer ourselves up

[Jaredberryman]

A man takes a chihuahua on a Safari deep into the jungles of Africa. Along the way, the chihuahua gets lost and finds himself alone. The chihuahua was very afraid as he thought about the huge beasts of the jungles, and was scared to death. Suddenly, a panther saw him and drew near to pounce on the chihuahua to eat him. But the chihuahua could smell him, and seeing some bones on the floor, he put them in his mouth and started to chew on them. Out loud he said, "I think this is the best panther I've ever had!"

Having never seen a chihuahua before, the panther was confused. He thought it might be some kind of ferocious animal, so the panther disappeared. Now the monkey, who had seen the whole thing and was cleverer than the panther, knew the chihuahua had tricked the panther. The monkey was furious, and he leaped off through the trees to bring back the panther. When he found the Panther, he said, "You've been tricked! That animal couldn't harm a fly! You missed a meal!"

Enraged, the panther turned and rushed back towards the chihuahua with the intent of devouring him, and the gleeful little monkey leaped on the panther's back. He crept towards the chihuahua in silence, the better to devour him in one giant swoop.

The chihuahua was ever afraid, as had seen the monkey depart into the jungle to bring the panther back. But he was very calm as the panther neared his back.

At the last minute, just when the panther was about to pounce, the chihuahua muttered, just where the panther could hear him, "I'm going to kill that stupid monkey! I told him to bring me back another panther two hours ago!!!"

 

[hannstew]

On their wedding night, the young bride
Approached her new husband and asked
For $20.00 for their first lovemaking
Encounter.
In his highly aroused state,
... Her husband readily agreed.
This scenario was repeated each time they made
Love, for more than 40 years, with him thinking that it was a
Cute way for her to afford new clothes and other incidentals that
She needed.
Arriving home around noon one day, she was
Surprised to find her husband in a very drunken state.
During the next few minutes, he explained that
His employer was going through a process of corporate
Downsizing, and he had been let go.


It was unlikely that, at the age of 59, he'd be able to find
Another position that paid anywhere near what
He'd been earning, and therefore, they were financially ruined.


Calmly, his wife handed him a bank book which
Showed more than forty years of steady deposits and interest totaling
Nearly $1 million. Then she showed him certificates of deposits issued
By the
bank which was worth over $2 million,
And informed him that they
Were one of the largest depositors in the bank.


She explained that for more than
Three decades she had 'charged' him for sex,
These holdings had multiplied and these were the
Results of her savings and investments.

Faced with evidence of cash and investments
Worth over $3 million, her husband was so astounded he could
Barely speak, but finally he found his voice and blurted out,
'If I'd had any idea what you were doing,
I would have given you all my business!'

That's when she shot him.

You know, sometimes, men just don't know when
To keep their mouths shut

 

[French jurist]

Crazy lady stealing rhubarb

http://www.liveleak....=bc3_1375251194

 

[IABhutto]

Crazy lady stealing rhubarb

http://www.liveleak....=bc3_1375251194

This is not funny dude...

 

[French jurist]

 

[IABhutto]

Now this is funny...

 

[camberiu]

 

[French jurist]

A new super hero is born, Captain Obvious?!

 

[camberiu]

Saw your mom on her way home from work today

 

[GS_Dirtboy]

When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President. Living in Argentina I now believe this!