let,s cheer ourselves up

PROOF THAT MEN REMEMBER!

A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband is not in bed. She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a hot cup of cocoa in front of him. He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall.
She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his hot cocoa.

'What's the matter, dear?' she whispers as she steps into the room, 'Why are you down here at this time of night?'

The husband looks up from his cocoa, 'It's the 20th anniversary of the day we met.'

She can't believe he has remembered and starts to tear up.

The husband continues, 'Do you remember 20 years ago when we started dating? I was 18 and you were only 16,' he says solemnly.

Once again, the wife is touched to tears thinking that her husband is so caring and sensitive. 'Yes, I do' she replies.

The husband pauses. The words were not coming easily.
'Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car?'

'Yes, I remember' said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.

The husband continued. 'Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun in my face and said, 'Either you marry my daughter or I will send you to prison for 20 years?'

'I remember that, too' she replied softly.

He wiped another tear from his cheek and said, 'I would have gotten out today.'
 
A man gets an email from his neighbour saying, "Fred, I have to confess to this, because it's been really bothering me. I've been tapping your wife for six months now, but I want you to know it won't happen anymore". The man flies into a rage, storms into the other room and accuses his wife of cheating, which provokes a huge argument when she hotly denies it. In five minutes they're ripping at each other with accusations of every misdeed for the last 15 years, and ready to file for divorce.

The man sulks back into his room and finds another email from his neighbour saying, "I meant 'wifi', damned autocorrect"
 
I was at the carnicería, and I commented to the butcher on how sharp his knives were. "Mas filosa que la lengua de la suegra" I observed. He replied, "Oh, no, no, no, es imposible eso. La suegra puede cortarte de mil kilómetros, por el telefono".
 
I was at the carnicería, and I commented to the butcher on how sharp his knives were. "Mas filosa que la lengua de la suegra" I observed. He replied, "Oh, no, no, no, es imposible eso. La suegra puede cortarte de mil kilómetros, por el telefono".

I was at the carnicero a few years ago asking about the ducks he had for sale. I was trying to ask how they were sold, i.e, evicerated, with or without the head and neck, quartered etc.

I asked, "Como van los patos?"

He replied,









"Nadando"
:cool:
 
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