let,s cheer ourselves up

[gpop]

This was too funny. My argie wife bought some dish soap at the local chino supermarket. I started laughing, she was wondering why... but you gotta be a foreigner to get the humour in it! (BTW, the slogan under the name reads "Protege tus manos")

I saw this one last year around new years. Below is the blurriness I saw without my glasses as I was walking by quickly, only really reading the top 2 lines. If, like me, you don't really see the "agendas a elegir" between OFERTA and CHICAS and GRANDES the first time you view it, then the message is kinda funny.

 

[nicoenarg]

@gpop, hilarious!

 

[Fabe]

Ask any happy housewife , and she will tell you she uses Mr Limp !!!

 

[Amargo]

Un cordobés llega a su casa, mira a la esposa, y le dice:

.- ¡Maaaamasa...! Te vua decí qui só igual que la Coca Cola .

La mujer, lisonjeada, pregunta:

.- ¿Lo decí por mis curvas?¿Porque ti endulzo tu vida? o... ¿Porque te
refresco mejor ?

.- No, guacha...!!!. -le dice el esposo-. Es poque só negra y tení gases....

 

[Amargo]

¿ Por qué las mujeres casadas son más gordas que las mujeres solteras ?

Porque la mujer soltera llega a casa, mira lo que hay en la heladera y se va
a la cama. La casada, llega a casa, mira lo que hay en la cama, y se va a la
heladera.

 

[Amargo]

Doctor...

no levanto cabeza,

me río solo,

no hablo con la gente,

me hablan y no pongo atención...

parezco un idiota...

¿qué tengo Doctor?




— "Un Black Berry"

 

[hannstew]

Do you want to know what a nervous wreck is?

A man with a house payment, car payment, a wife, and a girlfriend...

And they're all a month late!!!

 

[va2ba]

There was a knock on the door this past Sunday morning.



I opened it to find a young - well-dressed man standing there who said -



"Hello Sir - I'm a Jehovah Witness."



So I said - "Come in and sit down."



I offered him a fresh cup of coffee and asked - "Well What do you want to talk about?"



He said - "Beats the shit out of me - I've never gotten this far before."

I have a friend who saw two Jehova's Witness walking up her driveway so she went really quickly to close the front door so they would not see that she was home. After she closed the door, she waited for them to go away. She waited and waited but they never knocked on her door.

After a half an hour, she decided to open the door and see where they went. When she opened the door, she found that she had trapped her dog between her two front doors. Apparently not even the Jehova's Witness were willing to take a chancing talking to a crazy person like that.

 

[hannstew]

After a long night of making love, the guy notices a photo of another man, on the woman's nightstand by the bed. He begins to worry.Is this your husband?' he nervously asks.

'No, silly,' she replies, snuggling up to him.

'Your boyfriend, then?' he continues.

'No, not at all,' she says, nibbling away at his ear.

'Is it your dad or your brother?' he inquires, hoping to be reassured.

'No, no, no! You are so hot when you're jealous!' she answers.

'Well, who in the hell is he, then?' he demands.

She whispers in his ear 'That's me --- before the surgery.' ....

 

[Amargo]

Llega el negro (=un Cordobés) a la fábrica a buscar trabajo, el gerente le dice:
> - "Lo que pasa es que acá hay poco trabajo..."
> - "¡Justo es eso lo que ando buscando!"