HotYogaTeacher said:I have been in Buenos Aires for a while and am planning my escape. I very much dislike living here. I am a happy person, have good friends and a nice social life and money is not the issue. I find Buenos Aires in particular and Argentina in general to be an ugly, charmless, cold place. It is dirty and falling down, the workmanship and pride that people feel in other places I've visited and lived (yes, all over the world including extensively in Mexico) is just not here. I find the city loud, crowded and rude. I hate not being able to buy nice things. Everything is very expensive and is not well made and people here just accept that. The service is terrible, the air is dirty and things are no cheaper according to my UK friends if you live here. Don't come.
If you love tango, latin culture including the men and all their issues and the women and all theirs, if you hate having nice things and are willing to spend a great deal of money to end up living 1/2 the life you had at home, go ahead. Otherwise, stay home. As a learning experience it has been wonderful. I wouldn't undo it, but it has been very hard.
Peace.
It's unfortunate you're leaving, but I think your post reflects one of the stages that pretty much every foreigner goes through in BA. Are you sure you're not just going through a tough time of it, many people do have their first "OMG I'm living in a hellhole!" moment about 9 months in (looks like you've been here about that long?) Take comfort that you are not alone! The following is meant to be humourous, it's my analysis of the Stages of Progression for the average expat (no formal research here, just have been here a few years and witnessed more than a few dozen expat friends coming and going, while I just seem to stay and stay and stay....)
Stage I: arrival - 3 months: Euphoria. Wherein the New Arrival walks around absolutely loving everything about the city, can't get over how cheap everything is, thinks that the locals are SO friendly etc etc. (takes about 3-6 more months before they realise friendly and friends are not same thing)
Stage II: 3 - 6months: Quiet Contentment growing to Soft Criticism by the end of the stage. While still enjoying their experience, the Not-So-New Arrival is now starting to remove their rose coloured glasses and is noticing some of the cracks! While things are still great, conversations revolve around "I can't believe they don't have [fill in blank]" "You wouldn't believe the amount of [expletive] I had to go through to do [blank]" and for the more negative, "[Blank] is just so [expletive expletive expletive] here!!!!"
Stage 3: 6-9 months. The Short Termer and Long Termer start to develop along diverging paths... in Stage 3 we may witness increased negativity due to first jumps in rent and expenses after the short-term contract expires, accompanied by realisation that finding a job after landing was not a good plan and that the local salary they may be lucky enough to be receiving can in no way afford them the luxurious Expat lifestyle they had expected to enjoy when they first arrived.
At this point the Short Termer usually starts to contemplate whether to stay on. If they can find another equally nice apartment without a huge increase, or convince their owner not to jack everything up by a gazillion percent, they'll probably stay on. If this first experience with the end of contract goes poorly, general opinions of the city tend to start going down hill.
Stage 4: 9 months - 1 year. The Challenge. In my experience those that make it to the 1st year mark tend to stay. Their next challenging period will not come up for about another year after that. How they survive in BA from now on will depend on how much they want to integrate and in what ways they decide to make their forays into putting down some permanent roots.
In the 9 - 12 months period however, Those That May Not Make It become increasingly obvious, frequently beginning their conversations with "In my country, [fill in blank] is such better quality than here." As they take the decision to get out of BA, spending time with the Departing One becomes incredibly difficult for any Local or Expat that likes BA as they find themselves listening to a constant tirade against Argentina delivered by the Departing One.
As the date of departure nears, conversations generally begin "When I get back to my country, first thing I'm going to do is get myself some decent [blank]" "In my city, you can get [blank] that is just so much better than here and you don't have to put up with any of the [expletive] to get it" and "There's no way I'll miss this place, [blank] is [expletive], [blank] is [stronger expletive] and don't get me started about the [expletive expletive expletive] [blank]!!!!"
At this point the Departing One leaves Argentina.
However this is not the last stage, as the last stage is of course:
Stage 5: Blind Nostalgia. Expect this to show up anytime between a few months and one year of departing BA. Any Expat that stays on in BA and stays in touch with the Departed One can expect to receive phone calls and emails wherein the Departed One completely contradicts all of the opinions that they delivered in Stage 2 through 4 and begins to ache for a Buenos Aires that they may or may not have even lived in!
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I've witnessed the above progression many a time over (and I was definitely one of those Annoying Stage 1-ers at one point!) Buenos Aires is not for everyone. Once you're done with BA, you're done. Time to get out. I have yet to actually have any of my friends move back after being away yet, although I do have many who are in Stage 5, and one friend that is determined to be back here within one year (even though when she left 2.5 years ago she was completely anti-Argentina and hasn't yet stepped foot in the city again!)
To be honest, probably part of the reason I've made it this long here is because I've still actually never taken the decision to stay at all! (3 years in and counting... )