Dating in Buenos Aires.

[laureltp]

sorry, I am just a grown adult that feels the responsibility of maintaining a nice home. I don't need a maid or my mother to do it for me.

 

[Eternalnewbie]

sorry, I am just a grown adult that feels the responsibility of maintaining a nice home. I don't need a maid or my mother to do it for me.

There are other options. We have a maid, not because we "need" one, but because we want one and can afford it. We are not of the "suffering is noble" school of thought.

 

[SaraSara]

There are other options. We have a maid, not because we "need" one, but because we want one and can afford it. We are not of the "suffering is noble" school of thought.

Quite right.

I have had the same two maids for the past nine years. They take care of the house and I take care of them - it's a good arrangement.

 

[mini]

I've had a cleaning lady ever since I left university. This avoids fights over who's job it is to clean the bathroom or the fridge or the windows, etc. I'm just not going to fight over it. It's always a priority in my budget before the going out to dinner or the movies or the cocktails, etc.

 

[Eternalnewbie]

I would like to add, as an aside, that I am sure that our housekeeper is more than happy to have a decent-paying job. especially since her husband is disabled, and we have given her an inflation pay raise every four months during the two years she has worked for us.

Besides being honest -- I leave rather large sums of cash laying about, for example -- she takes wonderful care of our apartment, and cooks like a storm. Truth is, she prefers cooking to cleaning.

My point is, there is more to it than "being too lazy to clean your own place." A major consideration is offering work to someone who really needs the money.

 

[NICA]

I am a 31 y/o argentinian girl and I want to give my point of view.
I have lived abroad (US, UK) and recently came back home.
I've dated both argentinians and foreigners here and abroad.
I am middle-middle upper class here, world travelled, university educated with top school post-graduate studies (Italy - UK)
My experiences dating foreigners, specially from the US was a nightmare, I found them having a lack of culture, world view, elegance and manners, they were mean, competitive within a relationship (a girlfriend is supposed to be your partner, not your enemy!) and most of all, cheap.
Here in Argentina, if I date a guy from my same social frame, we would treat me as a princess (not only me, but to any other argentinian girl) pick me up with his car, invite me dinner, go clubbing after that, and say nice things to me...
But when I dated expats in BA
1) they had no car to pick me up
2) they had no money to invite me dinner
3) they had no manners and said mean, disrespectful things to me
4) they had no ability to appreciate someone who is elegant and has class, they just expect to meet a backpacker who has no femininity but is practical and pays half of his rent.
(And those expats I dates where young professionals, lawyers, etc, who were supposed to have great jobs in the US/UK)


Women here ARE independent but keep their FEMININITY,
I am a lawyer, I achieved great goals in my life, have my own apartment in Recoleta, a nice car, etc, but I still want a man who makes me feel as a woman, I dress in a feminine way for my date, I use high heels and I appreciate someone who opens the door for me...
And that's what argentinian men like from argentinian women, someone who is independent, has a personality, but also keeps her femininity...
When living abroad and dating guys who where supposed to have 'good' job, they salary didn't allow them much more than being able to pay the rent, living with roommates and not eating out very often, tI guess hat's why we are having so many expats living here in Argentina because of world economic crises...
When living abroad I found guys in their 20's 30's -with a good education and 'good' jobs- not being able to save much or plan a future/family since their only chance to own a house was getting a 30 years mortgage credit and work hard as hell to pay it, praying everyday not to get fired... so please, foreign guys in their 20's 30's even if they are well educated professionals don't live a dreamt life!
There's a bigger chance that an argentinian guy with a good job (a lawyer, etc) is able to live a nicer life, buy property, raise a family and travel abroad staying in a HOTEL, not a HOSTEL!

 

[SaraSara]

Hello, Nica

You write: "(And those expats I dates where young professionals, lawyers, etc, who were supposed to have great jobs in the US/UK)"

Right - "supposed" is the operative word. People with great jobs don't quit them to move to BA for a few months. But I think people in a new country like to re-invent themselves and live out their fantasies.

I spent many years in the World Bank. Not a single one of the Europeans I met there was the son/daughter of a doctor, a lawyer, or God forbid, a shopkeeper...! No, they all had some sort of connection to the aristocracy in their home countries and owned "ancestral estates" and "villas" there.

So, don't believe anything those expat guys you date say - chances are, they are being "creative".

Same goes for this forum, where many have fun with their "dress-up and pretend" games. Now, there's nothing wrong with playing pretend, as long as one doesn't take it seriously...

 

[AlexfromLA]

And I thought you rolled in the best of expat circles.

I'm quite disappointed.

Hello, Nica

You write: "(And those expats I dates where young professionals, lawyers, etc, who were supposed to have great jobs in the US/UK)"

Right - "supposed" is the operative word. People with great jobs don't quit them to move to BA for a few months. But I think people in a new country like to re-invent themselves and live out their fantasies.

I spent many years in the World Bank. Not a single one of the Europeans I met there was the son/daughter of a doctor, a lawyer, or God forbid, a shopkeeper...! No, they all had some sort of connection to the aristocracy in their home countries and owned "ancestral estates" and "villas" there.

So, don't believe anything those expat guys you date say - chances are, they are being "creative".

Same goes for this forum, where many have fun with their "dress-up and pretend" games. Now, there's nothing wrong with playing pretend, as long as one doesn't take it seriously...

 

[AlexfromLA]

Lol,

I have to be honest Nica. Your rant is a little bit far removed from reality. Do you date backpackers or wealthy foreigners, which one is it ?

I think you should choose a little bit better when dating, don't blame your bad choices in dates on the whole expat community.

I know alot of wealthy young expats and I also know alot of young college kid types with no money car or property. I can say the same about Argentinians.

You choosing to date the latter doesn't mean the former don't exist. It just means either they weren't interested in you or you just haven't met any because they are not found in your social circles.

1) they had no car to pick me up
2) they had no money to invite me dinner
3) they had no manners and said mean, disrespectful things to me
4) they had no ability to appreciate someone who is elegant and has class,
(And those expats I dates where young professionals, lawyers, etc, who were supposed to have great jobs in the US/UK)

 

[ssr]

I am a 31 y/o argentinian girl and blah, blah, blah...

Yikes. Well, at least you brought this thread back to its original topic (more or less). For a thread entitled "Dating in Buenos Aires," there's been a bit too much back and forth about maids and cleaning.

Anyway, I was having a conversation recently with a friend about how much women's expectations of men are shaped by, well, men. Specifically, the men they happen to grow up around. Most people probably have some sort of Oedipus/Electra thing going on and end up looking, ultimately, for someone like their mother or father to settle down with, but men really seem less constrained than women.

More so then men, women really seem to lock down what they expect in a mate at a young age. I guess this makes sense as women generally need to find a partner younger than men do. But it does lead to crazy stuff from women, especially those with high expectations.

Would it really ever occur to a man to list out all of those criticisms like NICA above? There are loads of implied expectations in her list. And while she may be looking for some uniquely Argentine things because she's from Argentina, this same sort of listing of demands and criticisms can be heard from a certain type of woman (relatively wealthy, well-educated and cosmopolitan with a great deal of self-esteem and sky-high expectations of the men they date) in big cities throughout the world.

Chris Rock does a bit about how women are allowed to "want it all" in a way that, well, just doesn't really even occur to men. Men, thankfully, are simpler creatures. We don't have to keep nutty lists of expectations. And, even if we do eventually settle down with someone sorta like Mom, we've got plenty of time to meet all sorts of different women and, when things don't work out, we can just move on without whining about how every woman we date doesn't do and say all the things we expect them to.