Dublin2BuenosAires
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I was thinking more "allo allo"....vee vil say zis only vaans
let,s cheer ourselves up
- Thread starter HowardinBA
- Start date
I was thinking more "allo allo"....vee vil say zis only vaans
Rich One
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Two Frenchmen and an American are discussing who was the greatest philosopher of all times
Frenchie one stated ; Descates who said .........To do is to be
Frenchie 2 stated; No it was Sartre who said.........To be is to do
Yanqui stated, No no no the greatest was Sinatra ........... Do Be Dooo be Doooooo.....!!!
Frenchie one stated ; Descates who said .........To do is to be
Frenchie 2 stated; No it was Sartre who said.........To be is to do
Yanqui stated, No no no the greatest was Sinatra ........... Do Be Dooo be Doooooo.....!!!
G
germano
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disimila
glasgowjohn
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a special for St Valentines Day !!
THE ITALIAN WEDDING TEST
I was a very happy man. My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, so we decided to get married.
There was only one little thing bothering me..
It was her beautiful, younger sister, Sofia.
My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight miniskirts, and generally was bra-less.
She would regularly bend down when near me and I always got a nice view.
It had to be deliberate - she never did it around anyone else.
One day she called me and asked me to come over "to check my Sister's wedding invitations".
She was alone when I arrived and she whispered that she still had strong feelings for me & couldn't overcome them anymore.
She told me that she wanted me just once before I got married and said "Before you commit your life to my sister".
Well, I was astonished and couldn't say a word.
She then said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom"."If you want one last wild fling, just come up and go for it".
I was stunned as I watched her go up the stairs.
I stood there for a moment, turned and made a bee-line for the front door. I opened the door, and started for my car.
Lord, my entire future family was standing outside, all clapping!
With tears in his eyes, my future father-in-law hugged me. He said, 'Sergio, we are very happy that you have passed our little
test. We couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family my son..'
And the moral of this story is:
Always keep your condoms in your car.
THE ITALIAN WEDDING TEST
I was a very happy man. My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, so we decided to get married.
There was only one little thing bothering me..
It was her beautiful, younger sister, Sofia.
My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight miniskirts, and generally was bra-less.
She would regularly bend down when near me and I always got a nice view.
It had to be deliberate - she never did it around anyone else.
One day she called me and asked me to come over "to check my Sister's wedding invitations".
She was alone when I arrived and she whispered that she still had strong feelings for me & couldn't overcome them anymore.
She told me that she wanted me just once before I got married and said "Before you commit your life to my sister".
Well, I was astonished and couldn't say a word.
She then said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom"."If you want one last wild fling, just come up and go for it".
I was stunned as I watched her go up the stairs.
I stood there for a moment, turned and made a bee-line for the front door. I opened the door, and started for my car.
Lord, my entire future family was standing outside, all clapping!
With tears in his eyes, my future father-in-law hugged me. He said, 'Sergio, we are very happy that you have passed our little
test. We couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family my son..'
And the moral of this story is:
Always keep your condoms in your car.
Big Al
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The queen of England was visiting one of Canada's top hospitals, and during her tour
of the floors she passed a room where a male patient was masturbating.
"Oh my god!", said the Queen, "That's disgraceful, what is the meaning of this???"
The doctor leading the tour explains, "I'm sorry your ladyship, this man has a very
serious condition where the testicles rapidly fill with semen. If he doesn't do that
five times a day, they would explode and he would most likely die instantly."
"Oh, I am sorry" said the Queen.
On the next floor they passed a room where a young nurse was giving a patient a blow job.
"Oh my God", said the Queen, "What's happening in there?"
The Doctor replied, "Same problem, better health plan."
of the floors she passed a room where a male patient was masturbating.
"Oh my god!", said the Queen, "That's disgraceful, what is the meaning of this???"
The doctor leading the tour explains, "I'm sorry your ladyship, this man has a very
serious condition where the testicles rapidly fill with semen. If he doesn't do that
five times a day, they would explode and he would most likely die instantly."
"Oh, I am sorry" said the Queen.
On the next floor they passed a room where a young nurse was giving a patient a blow job.
"Oh my God", said the Queen, "What's happening in there?"
The Doctor replied, "Same problem, better health plan."
French jurist
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Two lovers who met not long ago have sex, then the woman tells the guy: "We need to choose a name for the baby we just made!"
Then the guys runs into the bedroom, reaches for the trashbin, takes out the condom, makes a knot and replies: "If he comes out of here, we'll call him McGyver"
Then the guys runs into the bedroom, reaches for the trashbin, takes out the condom, makes a knot and replies: "If he comes out of here, we'll call him McGyver"
glasgowjohn
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A Scottish woman went to the local newspaper office to publish the obituary for her recently deceased husband. The obit editor informed her that there is a charge of One Pound per word. She paused, reflected, and then said "Well then, let it read "Angus Fraser died". Amused at the woman's thrift, the editor told her that there is a seven word minimum for all obituaries. She thought it over and in a few seconds said "In that case, let it read... "Angus Fraser died. Golf clubs for sale".